I am worthless

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I look at my female cousins for example who have no autism disorders at all. They can fix their hair and makeup so good it looks like they are from a cover of Vogue mag. They also look great in clothes. I don't know why I can't do those things. One of my cousins is only 19, a little younger than me, but she looks so pretty. Her hair is perfect, her face is perfect and so is her clothes. I want to be normal too.

maybe ask them to help you out?
tips on makeup/hair/shopping

pretty much what i did anyways, as far as hair and clothes go.
I just asked my stepsisters. Worked out fine.

Perhaps there is another way to gauge your worth other than outward appearances? How about character? Integrity? Intelligence? Compassion?

Hi, Anna

Don't say your worthless. That's never true. Your appearance doesn't matter, like Llixgrjb said.
Your not abnormal, your unique!

Guitar_Girl

I've never seen you, but I bet you are lovely. Don't get yourself down.

I can't even cook a full meal. I am a college graduate too and work full time. I can't imagine living on my own without my parents. I still live with them and when they go on vacations (dad's business conferences for example) I get so helpless, depressed and sad. At my age I should be on my own and have my own family. But I refuse to get married and give birth. The thought of marriage and children is just not for me. I always been fearful of those things since I was a teen. I won't even adopt.

I can't cook either, and I have the same worries. We'll be okay though.

This is so true. But young women have trouble using this things to make them feel worthy. Because society tells them to be beautiful. and also young guys aren't gonna go with an unattractive girl because she is smart and has great character. so you must also think about those things. I feel worthless at times because I am so different and people tell me I am so handsome and smart; but they dont know how it is to be different. and also no youn g girl is gonna go after a guy just because hs is handsome and smart if all they see is weirdness and cant take the time to get to know him.

so your advice is good, its just that it's a bit unrealistic for a young girl. society puts too much pressure on young women and appearances. but I agree outward appearances should not be how you value yourself, espcially if it's just makeup.

My wife has told me she felt the same way when she was young. She was skinny, and her cousins were pretty. You ladies have the option of changing your appearance however you want to. If your cousins won't help you, just go to the make-up counter of the nearest department store ! ! Tell them you want to accentuate your natural looks. They'll be glad to suggest a new look. Really, think about us blokes, we're stuck with what we look like. Oh sure, a bit of facial hair, or a goatee, or tousled hair, or an earring is our only option.

I like Victoria Beckham's stock bob hair style. I got that done in the spring and it's time for another one. But it's hard to manage it and I watch carefully to what my stylist is doing, but I can't copy it I also watch the person doing make up on me and can't copy it either. Make up artists are professionals I guess. I have gone to a Origins counter and an employee there put on eye makeup for me and I looked good. When mom used to put makeup on me and fixed my hair prior to a piano recital or choral concert, I looked good. But mom won't be around forever.

Depends on what you two mean by "I can't cook". I feel that "I can't cook" either. But here is my definition of what I mean. I can't cook a delicious meal that has conventional combinations to the correct proportions. However, I let the rice cooker do some of its job, pack on some meat, and cook whatever vegetables I see in my fridge. I don't really know how to cook a nice meal others will say "wow, thats delicious!" but I can cook so that I can consume food into my body and survive.

OP, something is wrong with the title of this thread in itself. Beauty and outer appearance is not all there is in life.

I'm kinda in the same dilemma. I'm average looking, but I am very scruffy compared to other girls my age. I bought my first pair of straighteners yesterday... I'll probably give myself 3rd degree burns by the end of the week.

Luvsterriers, don't forget that your cousins have had years to perfect their 'look', and their friends and magazines probably helped too. I bet if you looked at their pics from when they were 13 or so, their attempts are no better than yours.

I'm pretty sure you can get tutorials on the internet and youtube for putting on makeup and doing your hair, and all you need is to start small (say, eyeliner or eyeshadow) and gradually practice until you reach what you're comfortable with.

I agree with others who say that looks aren't the most important thing about a person, but they do seem to affect how people react to you. I find even if I'm wearing a suit and jacket, people still treat me like a kid because I don't wear makeup. It may be to do with my attitude too; with makeup, I am very conscious of it, so I feel like I'm wearing a mask, which gives me more confidence.

If it's just another person's first impression of us that matters, shouldn't good hygiene and a conservative put-together wardrobe be enough? Life is too short; we can't spend too much of this borrowed time primping and painting these bodies. They are just vessels, it's what we put into these fragile vessels that ultimately makes up the sum of our worth.

And if a guy doesn't want a scruffy but intelligent woman, that's his loss. No wonder the divorce rates are so high today.

Hi Luvsterriers,
Don't worry over cooking. If you can read you can cook. All you need is a detailed recipe book. Then you just follow the instructions. I would have recommended you my favourite ones but they are not in English. You need to discover a book or series that works for you.
Make up and hairstyle take some practice. Don't despair, be patient.
I like Panacea81's tutorials, she is very good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcNKi9LpS08

I also thought I didn't want to marry and have kids until I met my husband. You are very young I am sure good things are coming your way. Cheer up!

Your a college grad and work full time? That is far from worthless. As for knowing how to cook I wonder how many people actually do? Look at all the frozen meals nowadays. I only cook lasagna, turkey dinners, sometimes and bake cakes now and then. When your one person its hard to think about cooking a full meal cause there are all those leftovers.

Forgive me if I'm reading this wrong but are you asexual? You probably want to be subtle because anything to enhance ones femininity is going to attract attention. Maybe just the right hairstyle is enough to give you more comfort. Look at the shape of your face and then look for sources with similar shapes and how their hair is fixed. Take a picture of the style and go to a good hairstylist not a $5 place. I love the old wavy style like Grace Kelly and took that picture with me. Granted, I do not look like Grace but I love that style because my hair is thin and generally has no body. Ask the stylist how to work with it if you don't have a lot of time and they might drop some secrets that can help you too.

I did not start doing anything beyond hairstyle until I was 29. I had a coworker that told me how to apply foundation cause I have a few blotches and I wanted to even my skin more. I only wear foundation and eye concealer cause I have always had circles and this tones it down a bit. I had to learn to control my eyebrows but not over do it cause I like them thick but shapely. As for my hair, I just use curlers. No standing around with a curling iron and no burns either. I take them out in a couple hours and just run a comb through it to shape it and hairspray. Done for the day. I hope this helps you can PM me too. I did not have other girls around that shared my idea of what I found manageable so I just researched it myself.

Last edited by curlyfry on 30 Jul 2010, 10:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's not for the guys Mine likes the scruffy look. But I work in a field where people do expect you to look professional, and unfortunately, the current 'professional' look involves looking a bit semi-formal. I think it's stupid too, and I really dont like the idea of waking up 20mins earlier to put this stuff on (not to mention taking it off later on) but it's kind of a uniform in some situations.