Should I get a job?

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Let me start off by saying that my mom and I are really good friends and we love each other a lot. However, there are some things that we don't agree on. One of them is whether or not I should get a job.

I really want to get a job because I'm aware that spending money on my special interests can get pretty pricey at times. It makes me feel really uncomfortable using mom and dad's money to pay for things I could easily pay for myself if I had a job. If I was a little kid I would obviously feel less bad about it, but I'm turning 20 in November, so... yeah. I think having a regular job would make me feel more self-confident, and I relish the thought of being able to spend as much money as I want without worrying that I'm breaking my parents' bank.

I feel I should also mention that I'm on Social Security. Personally I hate it, because it makes me feel like I'm a "welfare leech". As bad as it makes me feel to spend my parents' money, it makes me feel even worse to spend tax payers' money.

My mom, on the other hand, sees no problem with the way things are. Every time I bring up wanting to get a job, she says that she's totally happy to spend her extra money on me, and that I shouldn't feel bad about using Social Security because she thinks I'm someone who "truly needs it".

However, it isn't just an issue of money. There is a lady at my mom's work who mentors a couple of autistic sisters who work there. She kept offering to get me a job there and mentor me, but eventually my mom got angry with her and told her "maybe I'm being too overprotective, but I know what's best for my daughter and I want to keep her at home!"

When I talked to my dad about it, he said that mom doesn't want me to work because she is afraid that I'm too emotionally sensitive to handle rude coworkers and customers. I told my dad "how am I ever going to learn how to cope with those things if I never encounter them?" He said that was a very good point. For the record, my dad agrees that I should get a job because he thinks it would be good for me to have "a social life and extra cash".

So what do you guys think? Would it be good for me to get a job or should I learn to be content with the status quo?

Try to have a more "practical" conversation with your mother if she has such strong emotions about this. Ask her if she thinks you'll never be able to have a job or she just wants you to wait some more. If so, how much more - one year, five? Maybe she would be more comfortable with a part time job or volunteer work that would give you a better idea if you can handle it?

Either way, good luck.

I would try to set up some sort of trial system with your mum. Right now, even finding a job is somewhat difficult, so you'd probably spend most of your time job hunting, not working.

If you can talk to your mum, and tell her that you'd like to try and work, something part time, allow her to set some limits. Maybe she doesn't want you working certain places, or more than a certain number of hours. After a couple months, talk to her again about how you've been coping with the working world.

Try to find a job that requires minimal interaction with people and just a small amount of responsibility and see where that takes you first.

And for the record...


Yeah. Don't.

Tax payers bailed out Big Business and they don't lose any sleep over it.

get a job. get away from parents.