"Victim Syndrome" or "Villain Syndrome"

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I have been trying to calmly think for the last two days about how to word this post without causing the average response I have gotten in every other situation where I have asked for advice or at least for those who have dealt with a similar situation to offer up their experiences in dealing with it. Yes, this post amounts to a "life story", and from what I understand, that sort of thing is hated. So if those types of posts disgust the one reading this, I ask that you simply press the back button on your browser and do not waste my time with an insulting reply telling me to lighten up and stop crying. You are treading a well worn path, and not helping any moreso than the ones before you. I do not require a "shock into cruel reality". I simply have no interest in being told I am whiny scum when I am more critical of myself than any random stranger on the internet can ever hope to be.

EDIT: I am removing the majority of this entry because it will simply cause the "tl;dr" type attitude, followed by the average "cry moar" reply.

I am a 28 year old 500 lb. 6'8'' tall antisocial borderline sociopath with a "bleeding saint" complex who believes that I was driven to this level of madness going through life as a chew toy for alpha male wannabes trying to prove their manliness by manipulating my lack of social skills in their favor. I am incapable of forming a defense against them because I do not want to become the bully who throws their size around to get their way because they lack the social skills to talk their way out of taunting, and my lack of wit prevents me from turning their insults against them. My fear of that when I was younger made me a doormat. My disgust at being treated like a doormat has made me a hateful adult. And I believe that being misdiagnosed as being depressed and, when that didn't work, being written of as a whiny excuse-user who has no interest in help has lead to my general disgust with the general public, barring me from holding any gainful employment.

I do not enjoy the "I'm sorry, but I have tried that method before and it didn't work" game, because it encourages the "You make too many excuses. You want to be miserable" response, but if I post all the info at once, nobody will read it and will instead post solutions that have not worked for me anyway. And then still reply with the "You make too many excuses. You want to be miserable" response.

Last edited by Axel_Midego on 03 Sep 2010, 5:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

thank you for trusting strangers enough to speak with your heart. you are in the right place here on Wrong Planet. Welcome
keep talking!
cheers
bruce

Axel, you do sound very depressed about your situation, if thats a diagnosis you have been given then I doubt its wrong, it would not exclude the possibility of Aspergers Syndrome. You are very frustrated, that much is clear.

But he writes so beautifully.

1) Welcome to WrongPlanet!

2) This place is a bit better than average for the internet (usually), I think, in terms of people describing hard times and getting replied to with, "yo, suck it up l00ser! lulz!" I'll never understand the compunction to kick people when they're down.

3) Again, welcome.

Hi Alex.

I for one am not going to call you names, or suggest that you "suck it up" etc.

I imagine going through life as tall as you are would make you a target anyway, let alone the other complications you mention. If you need to vent, then do so... and if anyone comes on being snide or nasty they will be reported to the mods.

Thanks for taking a leap of faith and starting to explain yourself here. Hope you find this place works for you.

Here's a big hug. :O)

Seeing your face is all I would need in order for that picture to be complete, and welcome to WP!

Joining in here can help begin making a difference for you, and many of us hope you will do that.

My post was not meant in a snide way, I hope it was not perceived like that. The comment below it makes it seem snide which is not what I meant. I was trying to say that often people can have undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome and it can cause depression if you are unable to access apropriate help to make your life better. I was saying you seemed frustrated in response to the Victim or Villian thread title, because whats coming accross is frustration.

Please do not call yourself 'antisocial' and 'sociopath'. If you were a sociopath you wouldn't have refused so fiercely to be aggressive back in case you turned into a bully and hurt others. That's a very admirable quality. The world needs more people like you, not less. I'm sorry I can't think of any constructive advice. Just please don't talk about yourself like you are this piece of crap. *hugs*

[ edited for content / privacy by Axel_Midego ]

Last edited by Axel_Midego on 10 Sep 2010, 1:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Either way is fine. No two people ever have the exact same package of troubles, yet you have definitely described many of the kind found in my old seabag.

Welcome.

I will not make any snap judgment about you.

Just letting you know:

There is a thread for just plain Rants.

You do have a flare for writing.

The choice of your title of Victim or villain was what caught my attention, and may I add a third? Just like a good old fashion trinity, the victim and the villain need a Rescuer.

Not a shade of sarcasm. Your command of the English language is so smooth and polished you easily could have written more without it coming across as too long. By the way, tl;dr is really code word for, "someone just slammed me in my face with a brick of badly written, incoherent text I have neither the time nor inclination to decipher." Not the case with your writing.

Ah_Q, I misinterpreted your post. sorry for that, I have been making mistakes like this recently. I was busy trying to decide in which way to interpret what you meant because I have seen that type of comment used as sarcasim in other places. apologies.

[ edited for content / privacy by Axel_Midego ]

Last edited by Axel_Midego on 10 Sep 2010, 1:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.