Burnt out

Post Reply New Topic

After highschool I felt kind of aimless and dissatisfied. Then it dawned on me that I was a legal adult with a passport, and could go anywhere in the world, so I chose Japan.
At the time I knew nothing about the place, but as I saved money for the trip I was spending hours every day looking it up and talking on Japan related forums, that trip became my aim in life. When I finally got there I had the most amazing time, I stayed in a dorm type house with some Japanese guys and an American girl. I`ve never been social or popular but we all became a very tight circle. I also got a girlfriend for the first time in my life.
Eventually my tourist visa ran out/money was gone/plane was ready to leave etc. So I went home.

When I got back I was greeted with a swarm of mosquitoes and the general lameness of my blue collar neighborhood, all I could think of was Japan.
So I started saving up to go back, but every day was a painful struggle to me, I couldn`t stand being back home. My plan was to work through the winter and return in the spring.
One night there was a party at the house I lived in and these kids decided to rob a liquor store. They came back with a bunch of bottles and started handing them out. I didn`t want anything to do with it but I had my own beers so I kept drinking. Then the cops showed up and I was so scared I was going to be charged, luckily they didn`t charge us but had the kids on camera so they took them away. The next day I was so distressed at that near miss I went to the travel agent and got a ticket to Japan ASAP. Packed up, left, gave the customs agent in Japan the address of some hotel and found myself back in Tokyo with little money and no place to stay.

So I phoned my girlfriend, she said I could stay the night. We end up getting back together and she lets me live with her. As I type this I swear I can smell her perfume. We pick up where we left off, and things were good for a while. But it went downhill, eventually it was time to leave again. I returned home again and got a job, but I`m so depressed I stop showing up for work and I spend a while unemployed and totally aimless until my roommate gets me a job at his work. I save up a bunch of money there for about 8 months and decide to try living in Montreal. I signed a one year lease and have been here so far for 7 months. I live cheque to cheque and I have made no friends and have no girlfriend. I feel like I`m becoming a schizoid recluse and on my day off I often sleep until noon and don`t even leave my apartment.
So yeah I feel totally burnt out. I wish I had married my girlfriend back in Tokyo, I`m sure my life would have been much different.

I`m sure nobody here cares about anything I just posted. But you just read it so it`s too late! mwahahahahahaha

You just got to find yourself some motivation for bettering yourself.
If you really want to get back to Japan you should look into getting some kind of work visa so you could have a job there and be able to live there. Obviously you'd need to have some sort of professional job skill to get over there so you'd need to go back to school. I don't know exactly what kind of jobs foreigners can hope to get in Japan, but I'm sure there's a market for English savvy people who can also speak Japanese who can be teachers, translators, travel agents and what not there.

I know exactly how you feel. I did the same thing and tried to move to Ireland but I couldn't seem to save enough money to even buy a plane ticket. I have met several people from Ireland and they were so friendly and I would have rather lived with them than in the US. But that didn't work. I find it hard to get by with the money that I make and I live alone and I have no friends. My way of coping is just to find something simple I enjoy and find a way to escape and just focus on getting through each day rather than a long period of time. It helps to focus on the necessities and take things day by day and try to find some sort of motivation no matter how small it may be.