I hate night time....

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The kids go to bed, the TV is off, the neighborhood is quiet, no distractions and the memories of earlier in the marriage and of other relationships that have failed start coming back at me...I miss them... This song says a lot...Dan Balan is my favorite singer..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLhGchSz70s[/youtube]

~Kate

dear cat lady.......have you heard/seen 'blower's daughter' by damien rice. the video is better. it is so wonderful as to be painful. was used as music for credits for a natalie portman movie. i think you'll like it.

No, I haven't...I'll have to look at it.

~Kate

Kate, I understand, I get very down at night time also. That's when the loneliness kicks in and sadness overwhelms you. I can't say I have ever been married, or had children, but I had a boyfriend once for a brief while, and I remember what it was like not to be alone. I think sometimes for us the loneliness can be amplified, because of feeling so alienated and different from other people in general - I find it almost impossible to connect to the vast majority of people out there, and it's so rare to find another person I can bridge the divide with. This is despite having many many good friends and people who care about me, which can fuel the despair at times because I shouldn't feel like I do.

I really liked the song you posted, never actually heard of that artist before, but his music seems somewhat like my original music (although not in instrumental composition; I'm voice and piano) It's strange.. it has the same "feel" to it (for want of a better word), and I find that most music doesn't.

Change is like time
Never seems to care
I could close my eyes
And you would still be here

But people say
Never look back
Never look back
Never look back
Never

Your smile makes me smile
I never smile alone
Our hands reach out to touch
Forever apart

But people say
Never look back
Never look back
Never look back
Never

I don't want to live my life like
I can never hold onto love
I don't want to live my life
Inside a glass walled box
I don't want to live a life of pain
I don't want to be
Alone at the piano.

But people say
Never look back
Never look back
Never look back
Never

Change is like time
Never seems to care
If I closed my eyes
Would you still be here?

That's exactly it...I can count the number of people that I"ve really connected to on one hand and I've lost two of them and I don't know if I'm going to be able to deal with it. I have to, for my kids, but I don't know how I'm going to.

Did you write the song you posted?

Dan Balan is from the Republic of Moldova, and before his solo career he had a group O-Zone who performed in Romanian. One of their songs, when I heard it on the radio, sparked my special interest in learning the Romanian language. Now Dan lives in New York City and sings mostly in English, though he does still perform in Romanian sometimes.

This is another one of his English language songs I like a lot:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlvZ73UKSIk[/youtube]

~Kate

Why not... obtain a hobby or interest? Distracting oneself isn't that difficult.

I did write it. I just had it running through my head while I read your post, I felt this connection between that particular song (I've written several) and what you were saying. I have a recording of it available online on myspace music that my friend did for me, but I sort of prefer my rough acoustic recording as I feel the electronics makes the song lose its soul. But it's probably a personal preference thing. If you like I can post a link. I may listen to the other Dan Balan song a little later... I'm trying to study for an exam at the moment (it's early afternoon here) but not going very well because I'm very very overtired.

To buryuntime: you can have all the hobbies in the world (I have several) and be impossibly busy (currently I have almost no time to myself) but still feel that aching loneliness every night.

I've had it before too... it's always in the late of night when it just comes back. I don't know if I can say I've had it any worse since I'm only 18, but it's a feeling I've (and likely tons of others here) had.

I think that's a common thing for everyone... I went to a youth camp a few months ago, and one of the main speakers, with many other adults that could attest to what he said, said that it's always late at night when people seem to run into reasons to be depressed, and when they end up dwelling on them the most.

I associate night time with the song, 'Wicked Annabella' by - use your imagination...

I treasure the night, almost for the same reasons you hate it. Feels like every minute of my week is consumed by work and kids. I just have a few hours of darkness on the weekend to be myself and think my own thoughts. These are dominated by despair, alienation, and emptiness. I struggle to find the most depressing soundtrack for my thoughts.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slgl9AdomTE[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FhFMkd4u_U[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SvAf-QbuvQ[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDhc4hmfeIc[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqUFbd8aAN0[/youtube]

But expressing these emotions has a cathartic effect and helps me get through another week.

It's 2AM. I have to finish the glass of wine in front of me and get to bed because in less than 6 hours my younger daughter will wake me up. I resent the fact that she wakes me instead of my wife, but I love the fact that she feels that she can depend on me to smile, give her a hug, and take care of her.