how to cope with personality clashes in friendship?

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Catster29
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24 Sep 2010, 8:27 pm

Ok so one of the ways my AS affects me is to take things very seriously ie if I ask a question I expect a serious answer not "mucking about" often I ask people are you being serious and they keep saying yes yes when it turns out they aren't and are "joking". This confuses and upsets me a lot. I had this issue with a friend last night (also aspie) and like many people when I tried to tell her how confused and upset I was about it she just kept saying "it doesn't revolve around you and I don't feel like being serious and I want to muck around in my own way". How was I meant to know she was "joking" I mean she tells me everything about everything including her sex life and has even mooned me as a "joke" before. So when I asked her if she was using a vibrator or had pants on it was serious I didn't want to disturb her. I asked and asked two or three times and she kept saying oh yeah I am using one and I have no pants on despite the fact it was supposed to be a "joke". I am all for mucking around in some ways but this is not one of them but generally I am a serious person and there is nothing wrong with that. All I ask is for people to respect it and even now I am still very very upset about it. how do I handle this situation? I don't like fighting she has gone off to work with it still not sorted but do want my point of view respected and acknowledged.



Catster29
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26 Sep 2010, 4:05 am

She also has has an issue with boundaires ie she will scratch her bum or stretch with her legs wide open I handle that by strongly saying please don't so that but it can be tough sometimes. I guess like all aspies she is young for her age more like 16 than 23.



9of47
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26 Sep 2010, 8:45 am

I understand what you're going through and have a similar situation with one of my friends - she's also aspie, older than me yet acts much younger. What has worked for me so far is being firm about my boundaries and what I won't accept. Tell her that she cannot "muck about" with you as you just cannot handle it and that as your friend that you'd like her to respect that.



luvsterriers
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27 Sep 2010, 8:47 am

That's why I rather have no friends.


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