Depressed about being poor?

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It is rediculous how I get jealous or upset with the rich girls at my school who wears the latest and designer clothing. My family could never afford the clothes or technological gadgets that all of my friends have. It gets depressing at time. I would complain about it for a while, but my family just got fed up with me. They always tell me to not worry about it, I know that money and nice things arent everything, but I find myself getting upset because I seem like the onoly one who does not have the latest designer clothes, or a her license at my age. You can get your license at 16, I'm 18 and havent even got mine becuase my parents cannot afford the lessons. Its not fair for me to grow up poor, and have nothing, while everyone else gets to enjoy riches and luxuries.
I am trying not to be jeaolus or angry becuase it is very futile, but unfortunately, It keeps crossing my mind.

I recently started going back to school full-time after working full-time for several years. I miss having an income.

If you don't give up, you can eventually get all the things you're striving for. I'm married with kids and only a few dollars short of a six figure income. Would it be that big of a deal even if it took you 20 years to get there?

Last edited by ouinon on 20 May 2008, 2:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

I can relate.
Although, I don't get depressed about it, just jealous. Also, I don't get jealous because I don't have the latest things...but just because they have more money and in the social world, that generally makes a person liked more.
My mother could never afford the appartment we live in if her brother didn't buy half of it, and she couldn't support herself now if she didn't get hand-outs from her mother. We are always budgetting, not that it's a problem as it's a useful skill to learn. But sometimes, I just want to relax and not worry about money. Heck, I was worrying about money by the time I was 7!

Things are getting better though. My mother has recently got engaged and my soon-to-be step father now helps to pay for some expenses such as food and the power bill.

Oh, and PS: I've never considered myself as poor. I've always had enough money to survive, just not for the items considered luxury.

Last edited by Brittany2907 on 19 May 2008, 1:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I grew up dirt poor, but went to my town's more "elite" high school, so I can relate to what you live with. I always had thrift-store clothes that never fit right and were five years out of style. I usually got the ones my older sister outgrew. The other kids made sure I knew that they knew we'd been to the stores one-step-up from the Salvation Army to buy them. I never had a truly professional haircut until I was 19, and my hair looked it. My mother bought the cheapest, nastiest soaps and hair shampoos, so my hair tended to look like straw. "Conditioner" was a luxury we couldn't have. I had the "cheap" black-framed plastic glasses that made me look like I was wearing the bottoms of beer bottles for lenses. When the teacher would announce we had to bring something to school (some supply, some item for class), at least half the time I had to come without it because it wasn't in our family budget to pay for it. When I did bring it, you can be sure it was the cheapest, off-brand version available - whether it worked properly or not. When we were sick, we did not go to the doctor because we couldn't afford it. Same with medicine. Except in really serious illnesses, we managed with home remedies and bed rest. The school would insist on a doctor's note if I missed school, so I had to go to school while sick and have them send me home - didn't have to have a note then. So, yeah, I do understand a little bit about where you are.

However, in case nobody's told you this so far, someone should. "Fair" has nothing to do with anything. Life is not "fair". You start out where you start out, and you make of it what you can. Where you end up is, in great part, up to how much you put into getting there.

Here's the "roll your eyes, she's going to trot out that lecture" part of my post: Are you working? If not, why not? At 18 you are certainly old enough to have a part-time job (at least) to earn the money to buy the toys you want - and to help your family out with the daily expenses of keeping a household going. I don't know what the labor laws where you live, but where I live a kid could do part-time work at 14 when school was not in session. (Bagging groceries, etc.) If it's that way where you are, why have you not been working after school and during the summer? Can you not earn money babysitting or doing housework or mowing the lawn, etc., for neighbors?

There's an old saying: "There's no such thing as a free lunch." It's true. You have to work for what you get in life, unless you're one of the lucky few who are born into wealth. How hard or easy it is to get what/where you want to be depends on how hard you work, how smart you work, where you start, and the obstacles you encounter. It also has a great deal to do with how persistent you are - how easy you give up trying. If you sit back and wait for what you want to have to be handed to you, you're going to be waiting a long, long time.

I certainly didn't want to hear this when I was 18, but stop whining and go get a job. You're (arguably, depending on where you live) an adult. Be responsible. Help your family with the bills.

Last edited by Nan on 19 May 2008, 3:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I don't give a s**t about consumer goods.

Or you could take that attitude. It works for me too.

I second that: If you can (laws and all), try getting a job. If only to pay those driving lessons and save on a cheap car, so that you later have a license and money ready for a car if you need one for a job.

I'd get one right away if I were allowed.

I've spent most of my life being depressed about being poor. I might not have worried about it so much had I not spent my life surrounded by wealthy people who ridiculed the results of my economic status (going to school in old clothes that don't fit, for example).

In addition to that, a lot of people have gotten the false impression that I was wealthy, so I had to deal with people trying to take advantage of me financially while I was really struggling. This made me really bitter for a while.

I found that there are a lot of people who like to pretend they're poor and hate rich people so that they can justify stealing while they're actually quite comfortable financially. There are so many ways in which people express materialism.

Now I try to avoid people who care about other people's economic status. I can be pretty happy without much money as long as no one else chooses to make an issue of it. There are a lot of fun things you can do for free, and attitude is a big part of it. I think I'm lucky to be poor enough to understand this.

nope it experienced by most people with small amounts of money it is called envy.

It sucks to feel like you stand out because you don't have the sme things as the people around you. Imagine how really poor people feel having to watch your average sitcom. You know what sucks more....thinking that the world owes you these things with no effort on your part and then going out in the real world and trying to get a job. Tose living the first 18 years of their lives with such a sense of intitlement is more then likely going to make some of your classmates marry for money and then be miserable with some jerk they can't stand...or get a job working 80 hours a week to earn the big salary only to find they have no time to enjoy their toys.

I would like to see some of the girls who came to school in designer clothes survive the things the majority of humans must indure just to get food and pay rent. So far, inspite or your jelousy, you haven't actually become addicted to having everything you want...there is some hope for you. Count this as the lucky time in your life when all your worried about is how uncool your cloths are instead of how your going to pay the rent so you don't end up homeless. Most of these kids will be out on their own soon and probably in debt before they hit 20. You KNOW you can survive with out these things use your time wisely to learn how to live thrifty so that you will own things and not have things own you.

Your classmates probably can't afford their goodies, either:

Credit Card Debt in the US

That's why I vow never to have a credit card.

It's a nasty catch-22, Tim. Your credit score is, unfortunately, everything to you as an American. Unless you're independently wealthy, you need to build your credit score.

1. You should have a credit card, and use it, but pay it off every month. Do not carry a balance. Get a car loan and pay for it using auto-deduct.

2. Never miss a payment on any bill, because a recent change in the FICO algorithm now allows the consumer credit reporting agencies to gather payment history from folks such as utility companies and others, which were not previously considered when calculating a credit score.

3. Almost anything that you make recurring payments on will be reported to one of these agencies. (An exception is debit cards, as the balance is tied to your checking account).

Ironically, the consumer credit reporting agencies have a term for people who pay off their bills completely, every month (and thus accrue no interest, fees or penalties). They are known in the industry as "deadbeats."

Last edited by YowlingCat on 19 May 2008, 2:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.