How do you find your "higher power"

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I don't mean god in the sense of religious dogma but what gives you a sense of "hope" or the feeling to keep going?

I've asked my family members this and they say family or kids, friends. It's so foreign to me. I have no kids, I have family memebers whom I do love but have never "connected" well with except a few who are dead. I guess you never know until you're connected with?

This feeling gets more and more painful year by year. I always thought you matured by the years but I feel like it's the opposite with me. I don't have the money to see "psychologists" or people of "high" profession.

I've heard of arranged marriages. I use to be staunchly against them. On the other hand, how do you build not just sex but a friendships toward the other sex? It seems so many men are very black and white when it comes to sex and friendship.

Why can't men and women build friendship and relationships together? Why is everything defined by your gender? My cousins who's gay is now with someone he loves. Why can't I be as happy as he is?

Being able to believe there is (and then looking for and finding) good reason to do so.


Ideally, our "connections" with others begin at a point of common need ... and that is at least one good reason behind "Step One" where others identify themselves to us in ways we can comprehend. So, you might begin by seeking connection with others like ourselves who are also yet *seeking* connection.


In and of itself, time changes nothing ... and people move on. So again, the challenge is to pursue connections with others who are also feeling disconnected.


No loss there, as they would only offer philosophical stuff anyway.


In something like an arranged marriage, one's approach to physical intimacy will reveal much about whether true friendship might even be possible ... and when physical intimacy is expected (and sometimes even demanded) prior to marriage, you are dealing with someone who will never prove able to be a true friend.


Exactly, and men like that are the ones you should definitely avoid.


Any two people willing to do that actually can, and neither will demand anything of the other.


No one has said you cannot.

Meditation may be something you might consider if you haven't already done so.

I established my link with the higher/my higher being using meditation.

The steps I used are:

Relax
Go within
Ask to be granted access to the highest power

This may seem trivial, but it works for many.

Oh heck if it could be just about love and not just sex. If he wants sex, he can haven it no the side.

We both love music together and we get rid of these jealous thouhgts?

If you want to get closer to friends and family you must communicate more. It would be my guess that you are not getting "close" enough to that person, that you are too distant for your man-friend to want to make any moves.

Smile. Look into that persons eyes when you speak. When you are in conversation, repeat back what your partner is saying in a way that shows him/her you are listening.

Touch. A simple touch on the shoulder or comforting embrace can mean the difference between a 2nd date and staying at home eating leftover chinese food.

Flirt. Flirting is the easiest way to get someone interested in you, if you are attractive.

Sex + friendship can be a bit awkward at times. In order to maintain a healthy sex + friendship relationship, you must clarify your needs early on in the relationship. Say funny words to eachother like like "vagina" or "penis" or "cleaveland steamer" just to familiarize both yourselves with what could be.

And lastly, do not stop searching. Any cliche person would tell you that "you can't find love, it has to find you" but this is false. If you know what it is you want, get it, while the chance is yours, otherwise, you may find that he will move on to someone else fairly quickly, and you are back to being lonesome yet again. Best of luck

Something rather silly in my case, but it's something.



Communicate and share common interests, beliefs, help out one another, express yourself, listen to others... Communication is key. I know it's difficult for many aspies, and yourself as well, but if you want more friends, you'll have to put yourself out there more and speak up.



I think most do. Shouldn't that be the way it's supposed to be?
You don't like your gender role? What role is it that you want?
I don't know the details about your cousin, but I'd have to assume he's learned to accept himself and focus on building on what he can do in life and not dwell on what he can't change. You could be juts as happy, but you have to give yourself a chance.

I keep going because some people think I'm eloquent and that means I could become a writer. I could use my writing to express my attitudes towards intelligent life and its connection with wild nature. Perhaps my attitudes will rub off some people.

I keep going because there is a bunch of wierd, cool stuff that exists in my mind and I am frustrated by how little of it exists in reality. I'll write so that people will see the world the way I do and then it all will exist more in reality.

I keep going simply because the only other option is death.

Hope, Dreams, achievements, love..... that really are all rendered meaningless when you truly take in/think about the scope of the universe. We all are as a collective more meaningless then the individual grain of sand that is the earth.

Ahh, nihilism in the morning :/


Not depressed either. Just stating an objective truth in relation to the expanse of the universe.

Money.

No but hell money for anyone would be nice. I've lost my bonus in my job...so yeah everything is different but it's gone. I would like a guy who wasn't interested in a woman who was high maintenance. Does that make sense?

Not to me, but I'm sure it does to you. I guess it's the kind of thing you can't really express easily.

What I meant in my post, though, was that for me, money motivates me to keep going with things.

Depression is usually relieved best by exercise and enjoyments of the earth sky and water

That's actually true.

Not necessarily for everyone. Sometimes the only way to relieve it is to get out of the situation that brought it about completely.

I use to really struggle with this. As a child I use to be called dumb and ret*d and the like. Even by family. I was pretty miserable. Then I started working dead end jobs. With that I realized that I was not only smarter and more capable than my bosses, but I was vastly more so, by a huge degree. This brought on the realization that I wasn't dumb nor ret*d. This gave me hope that maybe I could be something awesome.

This hope has got me through a technical school, which I don't find that amazing but other people do, and the belief that I can go on to get some more degrees in something I am really interested in.

I know some Indian, Jamacan, Polish or Korean guys with good money, who are looking for a wife....I'm only after 20%, lets talk!

Ya know I dont think your that alone with how you feel.

Its amazing down at the duck pond and along the waterfront, there are so many cougars now, power walking usually, sometimes they come on to you quite obviously...you might want to learn some lines, I got

"so whats it like at your place honey?'

by two power walking cougars a few months back.

Maybe thats what it takes if everyone else is doing it....