NOBODY CARES!! !!

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Hello again. I feel I post here way too much but I have to get this off my chest. I am sorry if I offend any of you. I feel like killing myself. Nobody cares except my family. Nobody cares about me, my interests, my feelings, my life, my goals or my well-being. I feel alone and hopeless. It is best if I end my life. Screw everybody. Nobody will miss me when I am gone except my family. But, my family is not enough!! ! Ending my life is the best for everyone. I even am questioning my musical taste. I feel I am not cool enough to those who like "indie" music. I feel that because I like and know too much about Classic Rock, Alt-Country and Folk artists i.e. anything that is old, I am uncool. I am either don't have a good enough music taste for the "indie" hipsters/fans or I know too much for casual fans. What's the use!! !! I am better off dead and the whole world knows it. I don't want to hurt my family but I feel I have no choice. Sorry if I offended anyone, but I wanted to get this off my chest.

Your family is reason enough not to end your life. They brought you into this world; they are your flesh and blood. I don't know them, but I'm willing to bet that they love you very much. Committing suicide without taking their feelings into consideration is a very selfish thing to do. And who cares what indie kids think of your musical tastes? "Cool" is a very subjective term. What one person considers "cool" is different from what another considers "cool". Something that is popular is not necessarily "cool" because all it boils down to is a bunch of people following a trend.

Anyway, please don't kill yourself. There are lots of people who care about you, including me (or else I wouldn't be posting this). Every life is valuable to me because I am a Christian. I'm almost certain there are some underlying issues that are making you feel like committing suicide. Do you want to tell me more about it?

The thing that I learned long ago is to live for yourself. Who and what you are is NOT defined by what others think of you! All that matters is what you think of yourself. There are lots of people who don't like my tastes in movies, or music, or politics, or for that matter anything else. And so what? Learn to be self sufficient. You are an individual and have the right to be whoever and whatever you want. Others opinions simply do not matter. Only yours matters. Be yourself. Be an individual. Be independent. The others are not worth killing yourself for. Quite frankly, what you are and what you like is nobody's business but yours. Screw the rest of the world. Most of them are the ones that are all f***ed up anyway. As Robert Heinlein, the SF author, once said, "Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite."
Hang in there. Those of us here on WP do care! Really.

@IdahoRose I feel depressed all the time. Because I have AS, I feel not only anxious but also I have always left out. Music was my escape. I feel superior in the realm of musical knowledge and appreciation. But, when somebody is better than I am at it, I feel depressed because I feel I am not good enough. I also don't have a girlfriend and have never had one and I have never had sex. This is hard to deal with when you live in a world where sex is empathized way too much. Also, I feel that at my job I am becoming ostracized. I know I work my ass off at my job but I get no recognition for it. It is upsetting. Also, every mistake I make, my boss and others are quick to point out but when others make the same mistakes, they are not corrected and it seems like those same people never get in trouble. As you can see, my life sucks. I want to end it so badly. My family is not supportive enough. Screw everyone.

"He's a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land, making his nowhere plans for nobody" - John Lennon

@AspieWolf I hate to disagree with you but being an individual is lonely and depressing. I hate myself and other's opinions matter more than my own. Nothing I say matters and nobody cares what I have to say, so why should I think my thoughts matter. That is boring. Sorry if I offended you, but being an individual is impossible for me considering the state of mind that I am in. AS does nothing to help me act like an individual.

I think you're expecting too much of yourself too soon. Believe me, I know. Some people don't know what they want to do with their lives until they are 30. You talk of killing yourself, yet you are still here and talking to us about it. I think that deep down, you don't want to kill yourself. Some people just aren't going to understand you no matter what you do, and that sucks, but they are not worth it. Does your family even know that you feel this way?

Yes, my family does know of my suicidal thoughts. Yes, deep down it's not worth it but eventually I'm gonna have too. It's too hard to deal with the crap this world throws at me.

I know how you feel, but worrying about it all the time isn't going to help. When I graduated High School, everyone I knew disappeared. All I had was my family, and I also thought that wasn't enough. Now I have learned to laugh and feel happy with what I have, which includes this site. If I can do it, so can you. Give it try. . . For your family's sake.

Hey I see you quoted a Beatles song--don't you think its worth hanging around just for Beatles songs? I do

First of all nobody truly cares about issues that don't affect them personally, they may feel pity but they won't be engaged in it. If you want people to care offer some kind of value to their lives.

Second of all at least you HAVE A FAMILY THAT CARES. Not everyone does. So don't write it off. If you were a billionaire heir to an oil tycoon you would probably be just as happy/depressed as you are now, so look at what you have now, look at your ability to acquire more resources/contacts and be grateful for it.

Unlikely that what you want will just fall into your lap, everything requires hard work.

To be honest I should be taking my own advice lol

I see all these threads expressing a desire for suicide, and I really get lost for words because that's how I've felt at times, too. I think the only thing that keeps me going is my academic potential, knowing that I can contribute in class and in other discussions. It's also knowing that there is someone out there who might want to share time with me, who might know that I could make a difference in their lives.

I really wish I knew what advice to give to people like you. Life is difficult, and that's a fact. It may be easier for some than for others, true, but there will always be downfalls. Besides, I am sure that someone else might be feeling even more miserable than you right now. Think of children who are born into poverty and have lived for their whole lives in poverty. Think of those who have been abandoned by their families. Think of homeless people. At least you've got a family, and everything else you own right now. I think that being liked by people shouldn't be the focus of everyone's lives, even though that's what everyone seems to think. I think people are mistaken. If people don't respect you for who you are, then why should they deserve your attention and respect at all? Furthermore, why should you suffer because of their own selfishness?

I'm sure there is peoples caring for you, so don't kill yourself. This is not dramatic of not being "cool" either, "cool" is only a word for those who are good little sheeps.

Thanks guys for the replies. I still feel slightly down. I guess I am lucky I have a fairly supportive family. But, that does not change the fact that nobody else outside my family does not care. It is so hard for me to be individualistic. My thoughts don't matter to anyone else, so why should they matter to me. Thanks for all your advise. I appreciate this. That is why I posted this on here. My NT friends and family do not understand the social anxiety that I go through on a daily basis. Most of you do. So thanks to all of you for that. NTs just don't understand and don't want to. It's so hard when you are surrounded by them. Some of them even get offended. I told one of my NT friends this last night and he got pissed off at me because his Uncle committed Suicide and it hurt his mother. So, I deleted him from my facebook. Who needs NT friends like that anyway. He apologized but it was too late. I don't want to be friends with anybody that I have to hide my emotions and feelings from.

You don't just walk outside, open your arms and people come running to you. You have to forge some kind of identity in this crappy place. You have to. Then you have to make it your world. The main objective in this world is what benefits you and how you can get others to appreciate you or whatever it is that you want. So you either create a world of lies and illusions and bring people in that world or you actually create a world of your talents and eventually people will notice them then come into your planet. Oh and suicide only makes them win. You don't want them to win, that isn't the objective. Suicide isn't an option, you must put your mark on the world and make a name for yourself.

no one cares thats life we all find out some time this is our world everyone for them self

Maybe you are giving some people an "expert" vibe in which you are saying all this trivia about the musican or what the song means blah blah blah and this is causing those around you to want to compete with you by stating their own knowledge. If these battles of wit make you feel inferior stop engaging in them. Also you should appreciate others knowledge and not feel intimated by it. feel glad that you are around them so you are able to have even more knowledge at your disposal than before. Dont let your ego be your own worse enemy.

It's hard with AS finding social roles outside the ones we are born with or happen to be good at but it's not impossible. if you don't want to be miserable you have to find other roles to play. Music is your passion but maybe if you joined an organization or tried to find another interest you won't feel so much pressure to be perfect in your current interest.

You are selling yourself short by thinking that you are only going to be happy if your the best and most popular at what you do. Another cliche stands out to me and that is it is very lonely on the top.

I have been severly depressed going on 2 months. Don't feel to quick to judge your friend's response to it. . I don't expect others to understand unless they have personally been there themselves. That doesn't make them bad friends it just makes them ignorant of the situation. If you want to try to get them to understand than compare it to a physical illness but if you start talking irrationally ( suicide is considered an irrational choice to pretty much any situation) than you will just make those around you upset and frustrated. Kind of like when an aneroxic keeps asking people if she looks fat or has gained weight. Understandly the absurdity of this can cause people to lose their temper and say things they woudn't normally say. I am kind of curious as what you wanted your friend to say when you told them you wanted to take your life?