Anyone have this issue or understand this?

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zeldapsychology
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11 Oct 2010, 8:17 am

A few weeks ago a family argument lead to me crying into a pillow (as it usually does) and for once I fealt like wanting to scream. :-( I'm constantly questioning my behavior and what I did wrong in college. I always thought being back in college I'd feel better but I don't!! !! ! What got my mind off family issues before is tossing myself into my work which was college work. I've stated it before but doing this now is "obsession" and it's "bad behavior" I feel everything I do is wrong?! !! !! !!

Just now after my sister took me to get lab work (I had my blood taken) I chose to sit alone. My sister (after I got back to the car) said Why did you sit by yourself that's "weird." I said I don't know I just did. I also asked her about getting pictures of my nephew on a bookmark she said "I've told you a dozen times they don't do that! I said oh ok. and held it together until I came into the house to cry. :-( I feel crying is a sign of weakness (or IMO that's how family views it!! !) It's little behavior things like this that really get to me!! !! OMG you said that already etc. I want someone to talk to!! !! ! Sure WP/PM's chats etc. are great but you guys are online and are busy with your lives.

I can say I plan on getting X for Christmas in the early part of the year and not get OMG it's only X month!! ! I can be excited for The Dark Knight being the top of the box office OMG YA! another week!! and someone is right there alongside me agreeing or doing/behaving like ME!! !! Instead of the response I got "Why are you so interested in how much money it makes it's not like you get any! I probably shouldn't be so hurt by these little comments but I am!! !! !! !! You sometimes want to give up talking about interest or shopping!! !! No one tends to care!! !! ! Especially my older sister who has the it's X month away OMG view. :-( Does anyone understand where I'm coming from? Thank You.



pschristmas
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11 Oct 2010, 10:19 am

There's nothing weird about wanting a little peace and quiet occasionally during an outing. There's also nothing wrong about being interested in how a movie that you liked is doing in the boxoffice -- that's why they print the stats publicly, because people are interested. As for the bookmarks, your sister's dead wrong. Here's the link to have your own custom bookmarks made. iprint Novelty Gifts. iprint Novelty Gifts.



zeldapsychology
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11 Oct 2010, 10:21 am

pschristmas wrote:
There's nothing weird about wanting a little peace and quiet occasionally during an outing. There's also nothing wrong about being interested in how a movie that you liked is doing in the boxoffice -- that's why they print the stats publicly, because people are interested. As for the bookmarks, your sister's dead wrong. Here's the link to have your own custom bookmarks made. iprint Novelty Gifts. iprint Novelty Gifts.



Thank You. and referring to the bookmarks she was talking about his school photos don't do bookmarks although the little sisters school does. I don't remember her saying they didn't do bookmarks though. THANK YOU! For the Link! YA!



IdahoRose
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11 Oct 2010, 10:47 am

I understand how you feel. The little comments made by family members can really sting sometimes.



zeldapsychology
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11 Oct 2010, 10:52 am

Yes IdahoRose. :-) That's it exactly! :-) I shouldn't let what they say affect me like this,and yet if I decided not to talk and to ignore my family over one little comment for the rest of the day OMG you are rude etc.



MADDuck
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11 Oct 2010, 1:43 pm

I wish I had good advice for you, Zelda.....

But as Aspies we all go through this crap while trying to fit into an NT world.

this just sucks.


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CockneyRebel
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11 Oct 2010, 6:08 pm

Things got a lot better for me, after I moved out.


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Philologos
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12 Oct 2010, 12:12 am

Ya - SOMEHOW you need distance. Places they can't follow you [though they might come along in our head.I had [not there were / are not other problems] what most people would see as a VERY disengaged family. I could / did spend lots of time alone in my room - though noises were made about my closing the door.

From 7th grade on I spent LOTS of time out of the house - in classes, in the woods, in the library, in the museum. I would go to bed pretty early, get up before anyonde else, go off on a bicycle ride. Bare minimum time in public view.

AND - I said basically nothing. No one delse n the family ever communicated, why should I? I would joke around, jojn some concersation - but NO opiniomns, no data on my life.

It was not perfect - but it did help keep the pressures down.

Don't know how far you can cut back on contact - my wife finds it very hard to disengage and keep her data top secret from the ones who will use them against her. But the more you can [quietly without drawing asttention - build distance the better.



zeldapsychology
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12 Oct 2010, 8:58 am

Philologos wrote:
Ya - SOMEHOW you need distance. Places they can't follow you [though they might come along in our head.I had [not there were / are not other problems] what most people would see as a VERY disengaged family. I could / did spend lots of time alone in my room - though noises were made about my closing the door.

From 7th grade on I spent LOTS of time out of the house - in classes, in the woods, in the library, in the museum. I would go to bed pretty early, get up before anyonde else, go off on a bicycle ride. Bare minimum time in public view.

AND - I said basically nothing. No one delse n the family ever communicated, why should I? I would joke around, jojn some concersation - but NO opiniomns, no data on my life.

It was not perfect - but it did help keep the pressures down.

Don't know how far you can cut back on contact - my wife finds it very hard to disengage and keep her data top secret from the ones who will use them against her. But the more you can [quietly without drawing asttention - build distance the better.



Interesting idea. Thanks.