Personal attacks by PM

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It has been brought to my attention that some members have received hateful PMs containing personal attacks. This is totally unacceptable and against the rules of WP. If anyone receives any such PMs please forward them on to a moderator and appropriate action will be taken.

Bullies have no place on WP.

That's good advice, TallyMan. I know certain members have been hurt by inappropriate PMs and that's never right. Best to tell your moderator.

BTW: I think most know, but I am no longer a moderator - - due to my academic obligations I am not active, although I still post on the Wrong Planet.

Thank you, TallyMan.

Yes sir!

Seriously, the bullying problem on WP is ridiculous. This is supposed to be a site in which members provide support to other members, not make them feel worse. Oh well. C'est la vie.

I am sorry to learn of this. Correct in that there is no place for bullying and certainly not on the Wrong Planet! Indeed, Aspies are notoriously hit hard by bullying (I've been ) and, of all places, the Wrong Planet should be free of bullying.

TallyMan, and others: In sincerity, do you think we could make a WP anti-bullying pledge? I have an idea - - Alex & Jack have been making some awesome videos! Posted on our homepage. Although most of the videos are upbeat and often fun (like the latest on stim-toys), would they consider making a video about AS and our vulnerability to bullying? I'd appreciate their input and maybe their own video could make a difference.

I'll quote and post your suggestion in the 'watch' and see what Alex says. You could always directly PM him too.

Shouldn't this be in the wrongplanet.net section as a sticky?

I think some members might not realize the rules also apply to PMs too. I didn't know that either until 2007 or 2008 when I had sent a nasty PM to someone because he ticked me off and then I went on asking if it was okay to do and I got told it's common sense to know it also applies to PMs too even if the rules don't specifically say. But it was only one time when I sent a nasty one to that user.

I think it may be because there was and still are websites against WrongPlanet. It isn't so much you per se although its this "abuse of power" and none of us can judge accurately except from word of the mouth that's most favorable. I use to think that power had more abuse than scandrel and I've seen it's opposition in use. It's very hard for some of us to know but I personally don't see you as a "threat". In fact I would think it very hard to be in your position now. But I do know what it's like to in constant abuse and not having people believe you because frankly the other jerk seem so smart and "deep" and witty. Yes bullies seem to get older and with sophistication.

Oh wait you mean bullies in general?

Well crap that's been going on in so many forums. I think Alex may have thought that many of "us" aspies weren't doing intentionally. There still may be a good large misunderstanding but yes it's pretty common here. On some of the other "support" sites I'm on, it wouldn't go any further than WP more than a day or week.

Man I wish I'd get a pm...

Yes.

While bullies are not welcome anywhere on WP, they are most particularly not welcome in the Haven. People post here who have problems or who are in need of support. That should not make them targets for nasty PMs accusing them of attention seeking or worse.

I'm leaving it as a normal post for the moment so people are more inclined to comment on the thread and to raise any further issues. Alex may have something to add in the near future too and a sticky will be created then.

Ditto.
And that's one of the reasons I don't really make any effort to improve my English
I understand less and it's better that way.

I had enough of it in French and other languages.
So much hypocrisis and cowardice among people on the spectrum as well as in other populations.

It's not always a matter of misunderstandings and they're not all mute, I can tell you too.

I think part of the dynamic there is that of finally being here where "rants" are even sometimes encouraged ... and then people get to liking the feelings they get from doing that and either cannot or do not draw a clear line for themselves while sometimes believing they have some kind of "right to retaliate" even if/when the bullies of their pasts are no longer in sight.

Just like when dealing with the confusion brought into the mix when society overall views certain things as "hate crimes" -- a crime is a crime, sans adjective -- I think it best to just drop the term "bully" and simply let people know when their actions are unacceptable. Otherwise, previously-bullied people can at times end up believing their own "bullying" is actually justified by their past sufferings, and they are then incapable of seeing *themselves* as "bullies" even against their own kind.

That makes sense. Sadly, when emotions are involved it's difficult to draw the line between what is acceptable and what isn't. I'm still learning that myself. *nod nod*

I've had a few personal attacks via PMs a few years ago, and I wish that I started a post about that, than. I was too afraid to do so.