Diagnoses: Disabilities or Excuses?

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Evening, folks.
My entire life has been plagued with my mother's negligence and avoidance of problems. When I was diagnosed with AS at the age of 5, my mother had no idea what was wrong with me. All she saw was that I had something "wrong" with me, and that my "condition" was an excuse to take government support money, free insurance, and other such extortions. The saying "If you're told a lie over and over, you start believing it yourself" is a very true statement. After years of my mother telling me that I was a freak and a lunatic, I very much believed that I couldn't become something better. Under heavy prescription medication, and frequent "therapy", my body and mind started to degrade and deform. Come freshmen year, I was fat, awkward, lazy, and miserable. I had no self-confidence, no self-control, no social life, and no hope. But then one day, a football jock at my school had beaten me up, and then later that day taken advantage of me (yes, and I do mean it THAT way). I felt worthless and hopeless. I thought that life was no longer worth living, and that I had no chance left in life. But, that night, somehow something clicked in my head: I thought to myself "who's fault is this?" I thought about that long and hard, and finally decided upon the answer: Myself. The only reason I was so miserable, the sole purpose for my suffering, was because I made no effort to make things better for myself. It was on that day that my life started to turn around. I began exercising, made several friends that are close to this day, improved my school performance drastically, and learned a great many things about myself. Sure, this has taken years of tiring and grueling effort, and I have had incidents and made my share of mistakes, but had I not made that conscious decision to turn my life around, I probably would be either dead or the permanent owner of a straight jacket by now.

My life has made a near total about-face for the better, however I still do have problems. I near my 18th year on this world now, and I am 8 months away from leaving this hell of a life to start one of my own, however there are still ghosts that continue to haunt me. My history of "mental conditions" and "hospitalizations" has ruined many opportunities for me that no man should be deprived of, on the grounds that I am "mentally unstable." My simple lack of social prowess has burned a big fat -CRAZY- label on my forehead that hinders me from my lifelong dream of joining the military, my 2nd Amendment rights, and my ability to obtain a drivers licence until I am 24. Needless to say, this is completely unjust, and has taken a toll on my life that eats away at me like the f****n black plague.

For the first time in years, I feel hopeless. It is nearly impossible to get a job right out of high school in the area where I live, I am barred from driving for 7 years, and I do not even legally have the means to defend myself. I simply cannot afford college, and I have nearly noone to go to for help once I reach adulthood.

My life, as it seems, is screwed, and only because my mom wanted to make a little extra money off my misfortune. I feel powerless and misunderstood. It seems that no matter how much I try, no matter what I say, no one cares. All they see is the big fat -CRAZY- label, and dismiss anything I say as a lie or the ranting of a lunatic. I must insist that I am, in fact, quite sane, despite my parent's best efforts. However, I feel that there is nearly no way of getting the truth to be seen. Will no one see me for what I really am?

Well, if you have the attention span to get through that wall of letters I just spewed out, you have my gratitude, friend. If you would be so kind, I really would appreciate some feedback. I need to know that I aint crazy, you know?

You're not crazy. Actually, you sound VERY lucid--more so than some supposedly "sane" people I know.

It's unfortunate that your mom used your diagnosis to get free money and nothing more--I can see that she made no real effort to actually help you in any useful way (I will never understand prescribing medications for AS ) and, as a result, you've been "labeled" in a very negative fashion. Your experience is an example of how diagnoses can actually be harmful, unfortunately.

I wish I could offer something in the way of helpful advice, seeing as you've been saddled with social "handicaps" that are not of your own making.

You said you can't afford college--does that include community college? I don't know what they're like in your area, but if possible you should look into that. They tend to be cheaper, are often accessible by bus and the one I went to was very good. Give it a try.

Otherwise, the most I can offer is sympathy and my sincere hopes that things improve for you. Making the efforts you described took a lot of courage. I applaud you.

Good luck, and take care.

Btw, does your username mean you're a STAR TREK fan? I am too.

Well, conundrum, I feel much better knowing at least SOMEBODY understands. I appreciate your sympathy. And yes, I am quite the trekkie lol

You're welcome, and welcome to WP, btw.

Which series is/are your favorite?

Im pretty even-split between TNG and the Original. Like Enterprise too, but Voyager and DS9 are not very good in my opinion. Idk it just isn't Star Trek w/o the Enterprise, u kno? lol

TNG was the first one I liked and is probably still my favorite. Some eps of TOS were pretty good too, and I watched ENTERPRISE all the way through (pity it ended so soon--shouldn't it have had at least 7 years?).

I couldn't really get into DS9 (though I loved the theme song) but I admit to watching VOYAGER in its entirety. The fact that Reg Barclay was the one who ultimately brought them home seemed very fitting, for some reason.

lol well yes Star Trek is some of the best story-telling out there, I'd say. Funny, I also seem to be the only person amongst the people I know that watches it as well, go figure

+100!

FederationJunkie, I find you to be sane and rational in thought. Perhaps you can obtain medical evidence that the treatment you underwent was not necessary and actually harmful. Then you probably could appeal the restrictions placed on you. And if that doesn't work maybe sue your parents or the doctors for mistreatment. I know it won't get you into military service but it could allow you to work for them as a civilian or maybe even for a corporation that does stuff for the military. I know it's all a long shot but hopefully it gives you hope.

As for Star Trek fandom - I'm a Trekkie too. My top three series are Voyager (my first Star Trek experience), The Next Generation (a classic) and Deep Space Nine (I can now get the dark humor and it's hilarious). I joined my university's Star Trek Club and then became President. I recently was forced to resign (this is partway through my second term) due to taking up a position next year running the clubs department. Yes, my handle is a Star Trek inspired one too. So if anytime you're feeling isolated in the community due to being part of the trekkie minority or if someone pays you out on it, remember that you know a girl who used to run a Star Trek Club. You are not alone in the world of Trek fandom even if it seems like you're a one person Star Trek club like I was in secondary school (which was all girls so was reasonable).

OP I get the impression your mother would have been neglectful even if you hadn't been diagnosed. I am often complimented by

professionals for my involvement so maybe the problem is widespread. I am the beneficiary payee for his SSDI and I see it as a

way to supplement my income so I can reduce my hours and spend more time with him. I think that's more important than toys.

Ironically, I am an undiagnosed spectrumite myself and if I had to work 40+ hours a week I would not be able to function as a

single parent.

You should be proud of yourself for deciding to make some changes. I think it's a major coup for anyone to realize how much of

their life is within their own control. As far as your present situation, besides the restrictions you face legally, take it one step at

a time. Don't overwhelm yourself with goals that are too long in the future. Deal with what's in front of you. I think it sounds like

you're doing great. Your mother, who may be depressed, is missing out.

Welcome to Wrong Planet! I'm glad to have you here.

Also re: taking control of your own life, you've done far better than me. I have trouble with inertia.

Hey, you know what really pisses me off? Reading such a long, lucid, detailed analysis of a situation, and people calling you mentally ill or crazy. Sometimes I really hate people... You know what? Anyone that labels you like that you should write them a similar letter. Make it as long, detailed, and intelligent as that and I'd like to see them call you impaired after that.

That's a really good idea. Perhaps I should do that, the next time somebody labels me that way. I'll also quote a person who accuses me of being a simpleton with a one track mind, and respond with a lengthy reply.

Thank you for posting your experience FedJunkie.

First of all, I'm sorry about the way that your Mum and those jocks treated you.

Yes, I believe the way you were - and are - treated most unfairly by state, medical and other authorities. What, you don't have the legal right to defend yourself with a firearm, despite "supposedly" being in a vulnerable state? Would the authorities have the gall to do this to an elderly woman, or an amputee? What if someone 'exploits' you again?

Maybe its because the authorities consider you a 'danger' if you possess a gun. But what about all these so-called 'normal' people who abuse their 2nd amendment rights by having armed holdups, killing their partners, or scaring away people who are just doing their own business?

If you doubt your conditions are legit, seek medical advice independent to the people who 'treated' you - after all, you (should) have a right to a second opinion. Maybe you've grown out of most of your condition, or maybe it as all just bullocks. That way, maybe you'll be able to reach your goals quicker, without The Label.

Even if the 'labels' are accurate, they in no way ultimately determine you as a person, or your destiny. If worse comes to worse, and you are as determined as you appear, emigrate from the US, and go to another joint that's cooler and gives you more flexible options. Suggest New Zealand, Denmark, The Netherlands, Sweden, Austria, Switzerland, or Belgium. I live in Australia, but it's very difficult for any foreigner to more there permanently.

If you want to join the army, (Unless you are patriotic - sorry that I'm annoying you if you are) join The French Foreign Legion, or become a UN Peacekeeper (a "blue Beret"), or if you're real adventurous, be a Mercenary.

Hmm... all great advice and suggestions. Thanks, all! Good to know people out there care

Hmm... all great advice and suggestions. Thanks, all! Good to know people out there care

Hmm... all great advice and suggestions. Thanks, all! Good to know people out there care