an odd request from an old friend
Ok well this old friend of mine from childhood and I recently got in contact again for the first time in 10 yrs and before that it was like 5 yrs but up until I was about 13 we were close. Anyway the other day we caught up and had a really nice time catching up on our lives and everything. Until she threw a curveball at me with the following suggestion (shown below).
Hi Catriona, I really enjoy.. being around you.. was fun yesterday... and it would benefit me if we can arrange something regular .. do you think. it would also.. benefit you?
Remember i mentioned helping out that guy on support through centrelink? ... well its fallen through, ... i think he was a bit sleazy/dodgy anyway... anyway i would really like to be able to go ahead and get the payment centrelink offers which wd be way better than the odd jobs and newstart (unemployment benefits) im receiving, wd help me out alot... and thought why not ask you ...as a friend... if you would like to spend a bit of time ie 1-2 days a week, doing fun stuff like painting, nature walks, gossiping about our crazy mums and joking around... what do you think? Xo Lara ps i genuinely really enjoyed our catch up...its been way too long!
I kind of don't know how to handle it for two reasons one because I really don't need a carer I am pretty good at taking care of myself I drive, work on and off and live independently and also because I actually don't know her all that well as an adult because we only just got reunited so I am not sure of her motivations. Also another thing is that whilst it is nice to catch up with her and talk about old times it has also brought back memories I don't want to remember a time when another girl tried and to an extent succeeded to break me and L. up and to turn her against me. L. would never have bullied me were it not for Z and most of the time did not. I have not raised L. bullying me but I did talk about Z. L. tells me that whilst she "doesn't remember details" she beleives me and knows the kids picked on me. I do hope in time she remembers though. Anyway I am confused on where to from here?
I spoke to her today on FB and she said words to the effect of "I know you don't actually need a carer but I would rather hang out with you rather than work in a cafe. She went on to say that she wants to use this money from the "carer allowance" to start an art class for people with As. Whilst I like that idea it still leaves me confused.
Last edited by Catster29 on 16 Oct 2010, 10:08 am, edited 2 times in total.
Honestly if it were someone asking this of me, I'd first be a rather insulted that they would even think that I was not capable of taking care of myself.
And second, I'd be very skeptical they were actually my friend and would be more inclined to feel they were just using me to get some money, consciously or not, as the prospect of a paycheck for hanging out with you could cloud her ability to gauge how she really feels about you.
I think I would probably just tell her you are not in need of any personal care services....but you could use a maid as you're schedule is quite busy and you don't always get around to cleaning.
I'd also suggest that perhaps she can meet for coffee sometime so you two could chat more.
You shoukd deinitely approach this with caution. If you don't need a carer then tell her that. Don't worry about 'offending' her, if she is a real friend she will understand.
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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )
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