People Visiting Unexpectedly

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Does this bother anyone else? Has anyone found an effective way of managing their initial reactions? My nephew has a friend who just shows up out of the blue to visit. He never calls ahead, just turns up on the doorstep. Even if the house is presentable -- a big if, these days -- it bothers me enough to chase me into my room.

It's not just T's friends who bother me, though. It's anyone I'm not expecting. Occasionally, my daughter and her husband show up without calling ahead and I have an immediate negative reaction to them, too, although on another level I'm glad to see them. It just takes me a while to get my feet back under me. I keep telling myself that it shouldn't bother me so much, that I should be flexible enough to accommodate unexpected visitors, but it always throws me off-kilter for a while.

It's not like having the kid over is even messing with any plans I had, or like he's really bothering me at all. It's just that he's in the house and I wasn't expecting him. Now, I'm hiding in my room, venting onto the computer and trying not to cry. I'm ashamed of myself right now. I hate that I feel like this but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to school myself out of these initial reactions to things.

I don't have that problem since I started wearing just my underwear when around the house.

Consider (if you have a cat or cats) moving the litter box to the guestroom, or wherever you put up guests.

I also expect unexpected guests to buy dinner while they are there - enough to feed me as well.

Would I be imposing on them - of course, but then, they are imposing on me, so it's mutual.

However, If they call ahead or we plan on them visiting for awhile, I can dress appropriately, hide the litter boxes, and have plenty of food on hand.

It has something to do with respect for the other person's personal space.

This is my opinion, your's may differ - that's OK too.

rob