unlovable.

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that's how i feel frequently. including now.
other people's families love them and think they're so great.
not mine.
they hate me even more than i do.
and i've only got like 2 friends i really trust.

sorry for scumming up the board with my whinings...

i have been feeling the same thing over the years and only as i have become more "settled" with where my life is at the moment, i feel it more so now. im just frankly being realistic about the lack of extended family support, the lack of true close friend support, and the lack of romantic emotional support from a woman. i honestly believe i will be single for a long long time. my 20s have been relatively inactive in the relationship world and i foresee for it to continue for quite some time. and as far as a friend, i could possibly trust 1 person, but to what extent and for how long, i have no idea. i just despise the amplified romantic love fest of the holiday season. and even a "god" can not make me feel lovable. i have been down that road. that is also a tricky game to play. good luck. you are not alone at feeling like this.

No one is unlovable, besides that you have friends, so you are loved

At least you have friends, who want to hang out with you.

You didn't "scum up the board with your whining", if you did, then most the people in this forum did, and in that case, you are in good company. In the other case, you were just trying to express yourself, something everybody needs to do at one time or another.

You are not unlovable, I am.

You are too, *awkward aspie hug
What has made you feel this way?

you are as deserving of love, as is any of god's creation.

been around thousands of dogs/cats and there are a few that are pariahs. no way for humans to discern why they are. it's pretty astonishing to see.

probably the same with humans. humans are subtle with rejection, in many cases, unlike non-human animals. i assume most posters here are 'young', under 25, so you cannot know if you are unloveable.

i have never been loved by a human. that's ok. i found acceptance and love in the animal world. where i belong.

so, don't give up. someone to love may be the person you bump into tomorrow. i really hope none of you are like me.
pariah. must be an aura or something. one of the shelters i helped out at, with time/work and money......well, they asked me to leave. said i frightened two of the young female workers. i had never done anything,said anything to any of the paid staff, no looking, nothing. i asked why and was told it was just the way i looked. true, i'm gimpy and have burn marks but i did not know i frightened humans.

so, i probably set the benchmark for being unlovable. that means all of you have a chance.

for whatever it is worth to you, if i were the gender you'd prefer, i'd give you a chance if only you gave me a chance.

Trissy, if you've got 2 friends you can trust you are probably doing better than 60% of the people on this forum.

How does an Aspie know when he/she is loved? I raise the question because I know in my own life I've failed to recognize it over and over again. Think about what love might be around you that you just haven't perceived. In a family situation, love isn't necessarily obvious on a day to day basis when everyone is dealing with their own issues.

Hey, don't apologize for whining, you have a perfect right 'cause I'm going to tell you about my family. One day when I was 16 I came home and tried to open the door. The lock was changed and my key didn't work anymore. Then I noticed there was a suitcase sitting there with an envelope with my name on it taped to the top of it. It was a letter from my Dad telling me how he had conferred with his lawyer about having me committed, but his lawyer suggested he just disown me and throw me out of the house! The letter actually ended with the phrase "Never darken my doorstep again". Jeez Dad, overly dramatic much?

trissa - at least you have two true friends. I just had a traumatic time in college where I lashed out at all my former friends or completely ignored them and became reclusive (been acting 'normal' and ignoring sensory overloads, social mistakes, mad anxiety and drug use until I had a borderline personality disorder breakdown) -I essentially destroyed most of my friendships and they told my other friends/aquaintences of how crazy I am and everyone now either thinks im crazy and ive been ostrasized...but my true friends stayed and supported me. now I know who the real friends are and I cherish them more than ever. Look on the bright side, you have two Real Friends, some people have hundreds of 'friends' like I did but zero Real Friends....and they would trade those hundreds of fairweather friends for what you have.

asdmonger, that is terrible I'm sorry that your Dad was such a pr*ck and not commited to being a father. Though I don't know if you did anything to warrant that thats still terrible at age 16. Now if you were 25 and still at home i could understand...but 16 damn.

You are all lovable. :O)

fudo empathises, i have no real life friends and while people on here aren't mean to me, i don't know anyone well enough to call them friends or even acquaintances. lonely, i feel i deserve love but nobody can give it to me freely as i would give to them.

families come in a lot of different syles, and ar no barometer on whether you are lovable.

Don't know your age, but after all these years I really have only about ten "friends I really trust" - two is good.

Note that a lot of people here [I do for sure, as does my wife and others of the Inner Circle] look for something deeper in being friends and lioking and loving than most people around. Typical NTs of my acquaintance just do NOT have deep frienship ties and seep interests [I suspect the two may go together].

Hold to the friends youy have, watch out for more. Lovable does not go by quantity.

All you need is to love yourself, make love to yourself and f**k everything else.

Thanks so much to all who replied You all are very helpful.

I've been thinking about it a little more and I guess it really has more to do with internal than external problems. I feel like I'm living in a little bubble seperate from other people and I don't know how to feel good and bad for them. i know that sounds horrible and it's not really so black and white, but it definitely feels like there's something missing and it definitely makes me feel guilty. I feel like I should be devoting my time to other people and instead I devote it to studying things I'm interested in. Is that really an okay way to live one's life?

And then there's the fact that my emotions really don't extend too much further than anger. When I should feel sad, instead I feel angry that things don't work out the way I feel they ought to. I don't know how to feel sad about things. It just makes me angry when bad things happen.

And then there's the fact that I have almost no desire to be sociable and really no social skills anyway... I just don't see how I can be succesful without interacting with people, but I don't want to and I'm not good at it...

I really think there is just something deeply wrong with me in terms of how I relate to other people...:-/

Sorry for this long and boring monologue. Just getting some thoughts out there... weird thoughts.

". I just don't see how I can be succesful without interacting with people, but I don't want to and I'm not good at it... "

Been there. Am there.

Success? Well, I have eaten pretty much every day and dome some things I found interesting, helped and been helped.

Know some people who like interaction AND are really good at it. Evidence is, they are not that successful.

Walk your path.