difficulty coping by myself

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Hello all, i was just wondering if anyone has any advice for me. i am on prozac for depression which has really helped so far but lately i have been getting depressed again. Possibly SAD or my prozac losing its effectiveness, i am not sure. maybe i should ask to have the dose increased but i would rather not have to. i am by myself most of the time as my husband is away working. i am just having difficulty coping with day to day life at the moment and i don't feel like there is anyone around to help me. or perhaps i don't feel i deserve help.

i am a mature student but today i slept in and didn't go to university. i feel bad about this especially as i am probably missing some quite important stuff, but i just couldn't wake up. i am generally doing ok at uni, struggling a bit but managing to keep my head above water, but with this latest downturn i am very worried that i will fall behind and things will get a lot more difficult. i keep telling myself it's not like i have a job, or kids to look after, like some other mature students that i know. others have it much harder than me so i feel doubly pathetic when i can't get my s**t together. i have two cats who i adore and i look after them just fine but neglect myself. i just feel so tired a lot of the time and can't bring myself to do simple things like make myself some food or have a bath. and then at night i can't get to sleep so i just can't win! all classic symptoms of depression, i know.

i have been to the doctor about the tiredness and they did some blood tests to check i wasn't anaemic etc. i had a phone call to say the tests all came back fine, so as far as my doctor is concerned that is the end of the matter. so what am i supposed to do now?! i've started drinking coffee (which i dislike) to try and have more energy but caffeine doesn't really agree with me and i can get very edgy and frustrated. i generally get a reasonable amount of exercise each day which probably helps a bit, but not enough.

i don't really have any friends where i live, or at least not good enough friends that i can ask for help or that i can talk to about stuff. and i don't want to worry my husband when he is away as he has enough on his plate.

i don't really know what i'm asking here but any advice would be much appreciated. thanks

I'm afraid I cannot offer much advice at the moment, but if you feel like your energy levels need improving, a change in your diet might help. Sometimes I just don't feel like eating meet for some days or weeks, once it was almost half a year. During those times I increase my intake of dairy and soy to supply the proteines my body needs and I always feel fabulous during my vegetarian stints. It's almost as if someone had inserted an additional power-pack into me. Since anaemia is not a problem at the moment, you could give it try.

Apart from that, I find that I can do lots of work for my studies from home. I go to my lectures about 90% of the time, but I also work trough the exercises the profs give us when I'm at home.

As there are no children you have to take care of, maybe you could ask someone to take care of your cats for a day and do a day trip to a place you like? Take a long walk in the woods, visit an exhibition in the next town, whatever. Sometimes you just have to do something that makes you feel good. I get a lot of energy from those little escapes and from what you write I get the impression that you are spending most of your time at home or at uni. Sometimes some new impressions help to make things look less bleak.

Hi Pangolin, sorry to hear you're not feeling good.

Hmm, well we're always here, and we can't help physically, but we can perhaps offer advice and moral support. And everyone deserves help when they need help.



No point beating yourself up about it. You needed a day off, and had one, so be it, don't guilt yourself or fret about it. You can always get the papers, coursework, notes etc. off of someone, right?



One thing you can do is stop comparing yourself to others. Those guys don't have AS (I assume you do, I haven't looked). Okay I looked... if you do have AS or other PDD then you can't compare yourself to normal folk, they seem to be wired with more natural energy resources than we are.



Depression, or Excecutive Dysfunction? I find it very hard to motivate myself to do things I really should, but I'm not depressed. It might be hard to separate them. Anyway, just a thought.



Well you're on an AS site, so I assume you have a suspicion you have AS or other PDD/neurological condition. Perhaps you could raise your suspicion with your doctor, and ask to be assessed by a psychiatrist.



That's okay, maybe we can help you work out what you're asking for.

I think you should try to see a doctor for a diagnosis, your university will then be required to provide additional support and allowances for your condition.

I hope you feel better.

Thanks FluffyDog. You're right, i could do with improving my diet. i too sometimes go vegetarian for a bit and it always helps, although I wouldn't go so far as to say it gives me an extra power pack. Wish it did though!

i had been planning to work from home today but i haven't done anything. which obviously makes me feel worse! i always start out with good intentions and then end up sleeping in, or being too tired, or not having the motivation to do anything.

And you are right, i could definitely do with a change of scenery. it is very hard to get the motivation to leave the house, especially when it might involve dealing with other people etc, but i will try! i know it will make me feel better in the end, i just have a tendency to forget that when i am feeling like this...

And thank you, Moog. You made some really good points.

I have a referral to be assessed for AS, but i am not sure when that will happen. Do you have any idea what kind of support universities can provide? i know that i frequently have difficulties but it's hard to pin them down and explain things and i have no idea what could be done to help other than getting me some motivation pills/the ability to make friends/a new brain...

i am not sure if it is depression or executive dysfunction - the latter is a fairly new term to me so (even having looked it up again!) am not entirely clear on what it means. my guess is that executive dysfunction is one of the symptoms of depression - i notice that when i am feeling like this my decision making skills, for example, are severely impaired which makes it hard to go about daily life. But when I am feeling ok, my brain works faster/better/more "normally". Of course this is only relative to my subjective experience of "normality", which i have come to realise is frequently at odds with that of most other people! Another example - that sentence (the sentence before this one) took me about 10 minutes to write, and even now I am not sure it gets across what i am trying to say!

it's just so frustrating because i have uni work to do, and i know i could do it fairly easily if i was feeling ok, but right now it seems pretty much impossible. Even to get the motivation to get my books, materials etc ready, let alone to actually DO anything that involves proper thinking! on top of the lack of motivation there's the confidence fail that says nothing i could produce right now could be anywhere near decent anyway... and buried beneath all that is the positive person that i really am, getting heartily fed up of being locked in a dark room for so long... OH DEAR

having thought about it more i think i am basically just depressed, and this is compounded by my difficulty connecting with people and forming friendships (which would be explained by AS, if indeed i do have it). i am not depressed BECAUSE my husband is away, but i know i will feel a lot better when he is back, because he is the only person i can really talk to, and his presence provides a pleasant distraction from the grim machinations of my annoying brain...

Anyway thanks again for your reply. It helped me to think about stuff and i do feel a bit better.

wow
My situation is almost exactly the same.

except:

- i am on zoloft
- my GF simply is long-distance and is currently dealing with cancer, rather than too busy working
- and instead of uni, i'm going to a community college (& also i nearly missed class today as well for similar reasons though)


I have all those same problems.
- depression/bad anxiety. Zoloft helps a bit, but really only just takes the edge off.
- insomnia. can't sleep, or disrupted sleep; like if i do manage to get to sleep on time, i tend to wake up around 12-3AM. And no matter how much sleep i get, i don't really feel very refreshed waking up, and have a difficult time not falling right back asleep. Usually i feel like the walking dead for an hour or two. Coffee helps the waking process, but it disagrees with my stomach and in any case i generally don't feel like eating just after waking for at least a few hours.
- also having a tough time with college. i can do homework & tests fine even with my tendency to procrastinate and put things off til last minute, but i absolutely hate and am not good with important projects with deadlines. Also not good with irregular class schedules or morning schedules in general. Just keeping my head above water with even only 2 classes is difficult and stressful & often i feel pathetic about my inability to pull s**t together and do better.
- and i also tend to be rather forgetful when it comes to taking care of myself. For instance i know i should prolly go take a shower right now.

& so i better get on that, before i get sidetracked again . byeee

Hi Sean, sorry to hear about your girlfriend. I hope she gets better soon.

Otherwise, yes, we do have a lot of the same problems! I think FluffyDog was definitely right about escaping from your normal life and doing something different. I am about to go away for a few days on a study trip with my uni class, and i think that will really help. In fact I am already feeling better just thinking about it! Even though I am nervous about spending time with people I don't know that well... Something about physically being in a new, different place takes you to a different place mentally too. And that might be a good perspective from which to examine your current issues.

By the way, I read some of your poetry and it is awesome! You have a real talent there. Best wishes

pangolin: If you find that you need some time to yourself during that study trip so ypu won't get overwhelmed by all those people around you, you can always claim a headache to retreat to your room for a while or to participate less actively in a group activity. For females claiming issues caused by the menstrual cycle also works well, but this may be perceived by some (particularly by males) as your being a bit whiny about a minor nuisance.

Apart from that I really hope you will enjoy your trip and that the new input will help you feel better.