I need to not let my family affect me as much.

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They almost drive me to a meltdown at times and I feel bad mentioning an interest (something interesting to me) and get a rude comment back to oh ok etc. I let these little comments get to me while others here don't let stuff affect them like that. I respect and am amazed by you guys who don't let stuff get to them! Of course you've learned no one gives a s**t about your interest so you keep your mouth shut (I still haven't learned this I guess.) I'm always saying/doing something social wrong. While in the car the other day I changed my shirt but HEY the vehicle is tinted no one could see in! My sister said she'd never seen a woman do that and it was inappropiate. While mentioning something yesterday my sister called me a moron. These comments and such are so hurtful for me. It's really hard to cope with life at times. I sadly hold out hope for the future when/if that ever comes.

You know what has helped me tremendously? Discovering that there's a whole great big world outside of the three members of my nuclear family. It might just take some time, but you will come to find out that your family members are not the final arbiters of normalcy, appropriateness, acceptability, rationality, good taste, manners, or anything else. In fact, you'll probably come to the conclusion that they're even more clueless than you are. That's what allows us to "not let stuff get to us." There are a lot of us out here who will like you just fine as you are. No matter how "weird" your interests are -- and especially if you take your clothes off in "inappropriate" places. Just you be you, and let them take care of themselves. That's probably a bigger job than they fully realize -- which makes it all the more appealing to pick on you...

There is a saying in Polish:

Because they are family, they are insisting and rude, they think it will change you, but they are wrong. They don't provide a coherent explanation of what you might do wrong that is sufficient enough for you to naturally behave the "good" way (whatever it means). And with time they are even more meaningless and overreacting because you don't change.
You can't change them, but you can adapt. It's like Zelda, there is a technique trial and error, the goal of the game is to walk the thin line that divides what you love and are with what make them happy about you. The only difference is that the rules of the game are not given to you, it's part of the game to find the rules.
It will not have results at first because of the current tense situation, so don't be desperate. Consider every situation like a level should you go forward, should you say it or not? At first you can feel lost, there are tons of parameters and buttons, but try to remember what made them happy before, at what moment... Questions, goals and rules, the hardest is to find the right question, then the solution becomes obvious.

Say again - except for genetics, most membders in most families would never meet one another, let alone like one another.

You get it twofold - level of sensitivity closer to my wife's than mine, level of incoming aggravation significantly higher than I had to put up with.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS - which brings a practical suggestion.

Look into the Sedona Method [for example here]: http://sedonamethod.wetpaint.com/

I would not fool with the courses, there are books and audio resources in a lot of libraries. But it is useful for pulling away from drives and irritations, wife and # One son profitted.

This made me think of a Jewish saying about mishpoke, which is not only your closest family but also includes cousins, aunts, grand uncles and the suchlike.



Not trying to be rude, but I think it gets the core of the matter pretty well.

It makes sense, my family was from a dominantly Jewish suburb of Warsaw, cultures and sayings have merged to some point, I am sure. When a Jew says he has a "Jewish mother", I can relate to that too

My family is super dysfunctional - my control freak mom DOES NOT GET IT AT ALL and my dad, who I suspect is the one that passed on his aspie genes to me and my brother is too passive. but 2 families have swept me under their wing as a "adoptee" so to speak.

Family issues are why I PRIVACY

My parents don't even know my address!

That's why I enjoy living on my own.

There's gotta be a way to make yourself not care. What happens if a future co-worker has an issue with something you said? If they say something nasty, you can't run out of the office/lab/restaurant/whatever. You'd get fired. Even a crying meltdown can have consequences in the workplace. You won't be able to move out if that happens.

True. It'll take practice a lot OF IT mind you and it's tough at times but practice is good.

No guarantee it will work for you, but in olden time when I really needed it I learned I could calm almost any upset attack [like at the dentist having pretty well every tooth REstuffed!] by reciting a piece I had memorized. At the beginning just slowed things down; then I would be clear after about 50 lines. By the end I just had to do the first five words and I wa at ease.

Also no guarantee - but there exist people who can damp your emotion. At a peak hard tiime I knew a girl like that - no relationship in sight, but I needed to talk with her every so often just to get back on an even keel. Only met the one, though.

I seem to have a constant jealousy of my cousins all the time - and I don't know why. Each time H hear one of them has stayed over his or her friend's house, I seem to melt down. When my parents ask why I'm melting down, I say, ''all my cousins hav got more friends than me - it's not fair!! !'' And my mum often says, ''you have to stop keep worrying about what your cousins are doing, and concentrate on your life. You have some friends anyway, so what does it matter?'' But I just cry, ''not as many as them! I'm not able to socialize and make friends as quickly as THEY can! It's not fair!'' And my mum says, ''it's really not an issue - you mustn't keep letting these things get to you. It doesn't do you any good, only makes you feel worse. Each time you meet up with a friend, or each time you speak to a friend on MSN on over text, just think that its better than having nobody. There are far more people in the world who are socially worse off than you are.''

And I have to agree because she is right. But it still gets to me from time to time.