I am becomming suicidal

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I am starting to become depressed this week. I have had a crush on a girl I met about a year ago whom I have developed a crush on. I met a girl about a year ago in one class I had with her in university, and we've been friends ever since. But I sort of developed a crush on her after a couple of months, but never made a move because I thought she was in a relationship but turns outs she wasn’t until now.

When we were in the same class she would always sit with me, and when I use to write for the school newspaper she would come up and say she had read my article and thought it was nice, or whatever. On the first day of class this fall she came up to me and said hi, she was really excited to see me. I told her about a world trip I had taken and she said she had been thinking about me over the summer wondering how my trip went. Oh one more thing. About 7 months ago there was a presentation by a lawyer defending an al-Qaeda terrorist suspect from Guantanomo bay that was invited to speak at our university. This girl asked me if I wanted to go to it and I said sure, so me and her went to it together, but with no one else. So that's it. Maybe she was sending out signs and I never picked up on it, being a f***ing ret*d Aspie, or maybe she was just being friendly.

I feel like now I cannot be civil with her and I am hoping she will never talk to me again because I don’t think I could be kind to her. If she does talk to me I am thinking about being rude to her, which will probably get her to never talk to me again, but I can't wish my feelings for her away so if I am rude to her and she never talks to me again I can get over her.

My parents are fighting a lot lately. My mother has falsely accused my dad of flirting with a “flower girl”. I am not going to get into the specifics of this, but our family has gone through my mother’s accusations of this nature before when she got extremely violent not only to my dad but to her kids (including me as well). Home life got so bad that I was thinking about leaving home. Now a repeat of this is happening again and I feel extremely anxious at the moment.

At school I am friends with someone for two years but I feel he is no longer the same person. He used to be a really laid back guy, who would buy 80s style jackets at thrift shops and now he goes to fancy stores and buys leather coats and stuff. He is still pretty much the same in personality but I feel he has changed somewhat to fit in with a group of people I don’t think fully accept him. I think our friendship has changed to where it has now decreased to just associate status.

I am stressing out about work. My boss is a b***h who has established a circle of co-workers who have done the usual work place brown nosing and is out to take people’s jobs away and the like and ridicule you if you do a bad job.

I have been happy until this week and now I think at 21 my life cannot continue this way as my life has taken a radically different path than what I once had two or three years ago when home life was good, I didn’t have to worry about employment or paying tuition, I was skinnier and healthier, and over all very happy.

I am at a position I don’t want to be but the necessities of life prevent from escaping except if I committed suicide, which would be the only way to achieve happiness.

So she is now in a relationship with someone else....I think the best way to handle it is to continue to be civil, but distance yourself from her. If she becomes available again in the future, you will be able to take the opportunity to re-introduce yourself and ask her out.

If you are an ass to her, you destroy any future opportunities you may otherwise have with her.



Your parents problems are your parents problems. You have no control over that and as stressful and difficult as it might be, it's best to just try to ignore it and focus on your own life.



People change a lot during their teenage years and sometimes people drift apart because of it. But it's also important to realize that you don't have to be friends with all of your friend's friends. You just have to be civil to them.



There are a lot of crappy bosses in the world, but there's also a lot of good ones and positive workplaces. Perhaps you should quit and find a job elsewhere.



The transition into adulthood can be very stressful for NT's, let alone, someone with AS. But I think you'll find that once you adjust and get settled, it's not really as bad as it seems. If you allow yourself time, and start aiming towards some future goals or focusing on some hobbies, I think you will find you will get through this point of your life. It might help to start going to the gym, or engage in some social activity or hobby.

Suicide will not bring you relief or happiness. You cannot experience such things when you are dead. And you have only been depressed for a week during a lifetime in which you admit you were relatively happy. Why do you think this unhappiness will continue if you continue to live?

You got owned by an NT buddy,

If your in good physical shape tho it wont be 2 hard 2 find a new girl.

Dont even think about chasing this girl, lay off the mans lady.

He didn't get owned by anyone. He just didn't know when/how to make a movie, and that's understandable and happens to NT's too. It actually might have turned out better for him because if she is dating another guy now, she probably had her eye on him for a while and it may have been the wrong time for the original poster to ask her out because of this.

As long as he does not destroy his rapport with her, in the future, maybe a few months, maybe a few years, he has a chance with her. Of course in the meantime he should pursue other women or things in life.

I need some serious help. I just finished a two hour class that I have with this girl. She was sitting by her new boyfriend and when I walked passed by her when class was finished we looked each other in the eye and she didn't wave or say hi or anything. I am really pissed off. I can't go to this class anymore because I am so damned pissed off I feel like punching someone in the face. I use to have her on face book and now I just deleted her. I don't ever want to see this girl again and I wished she never introduced herself to me. f**k sakes. I have smoked so many cigarettwes today and I am trying to quit. I am also developing arthritis and am in severe pain right now and I have am MIGRAINE I CANT DEAL WITH THIS I JUST WANT TO END IT NOW

I now have a headache and feel like throwing up. Please help





HELP

I thought of a plan to go to a subway train station and slip onto the tracks

Please don't do that. You're probably feeling overwhelmed right now, but things can get better.

Chronos gave some great advice so read it over and think about it. Just take it one day at a time.

Do you regret not acting sooner with her? Are you angry you did not have the skills in which to do so? This has got to suck. And it has to be hard seeing her with someone else hoping and even believing it might have been you.

You probably have done a few things you regret dealing with this. People may tell you not to be so hard on yourself, but they are not the ones going through it. For the moment, please slow down, relax, and think about all of your options. Do you have a crisis hotline you can call? And if it's bad enough, can you get yourself to a hospital?

This forum can be very helpful, but you need to pick and choose the responses that work best for you. You want help. These are all ways you can get it, but there may be more.

Hang in there and keep trying.

Right now I don't know if she'll ever talk to me again. If she chooses to resume contact with me I'll re-add her to facebook, but for now I really just need to avoid her.

I had a similar experience, but not to this level. I met her at the school bus stop first day of class when i had just moved here. It was early so i couldnt really make anything out besides that it sounded like a girl and had long hair. Comin gback i got in the bus and she sat in front of me and i was blown out of my mind. We were a bit friendly and she asked me out in code a couple of times Yet i didnt act on it for 3 years. It was obvious even though she was taken her atraction to me. I once overheard her and her friend talking about me while walking a bit behind me. Wondering why i was walking by myself and what to do to get my attention. Frequently see her at school and she looks away from me. Eventually she makes friends with some guidos. They drive her home and a couple of times they make agressive gestures at me. I have no idea where those came from.
And you know what i did? f**k HER! (verbally not physically).
you're making this to be harder than it needs to be. If she has gone to the point of disliking you turn around and go somewhere else. That being said i dont think its something hard enough to be solved by suicide, but who am i to tell you not to do something because i want to do it myself.

Four years ago I did do something brash to a different girl I had a crush on and she never forgave me for what I did so we could never even be friends. I don't want that to happen to this girl and the feelings I am feeling right now (which I haven't felt in years because I haven't had a crush in years) are on the same level I felt 4 years ago. I have a feeling this girl won't talk to me anymore anyways, as she seems not to acknowledge me- I don't know why; I haven't said or did anything to her yet.

How do I deal with these feelings. I have to attend class with her and I'll see her with her boyfriend, but I can't skip any classes.

P.S. when I walked past her on Monday we exchanged eye contact but no hi or anything from her, so I don't know what that was about. Which is strange because three weeks ago she went out of her way to sit with me and now not, but nothing has changed with our friendship, so I am confused by her actions which adds to my frustration.

I am at my wits end. This now has nothing to do with that girl I was talking about.

I worked four days on an essay and I thought I would get a decent mark but on Thursday I got it back and only a 57%. I was pissed off and the comments I got were a bit snooty. I don't deal with this sort of thing well and I have been angry about it for two days now. I really want to take retributive action for this but I know that it would not be right and the plans I have in my head would get me in some trouble. I am at my wits end and I am just fed up with everything. I am not happy with myself and I don't know how to change and just want to end it all.

I am now on the verge of a mental breakdown. The last few days have been especially hard. I got an essay back on Thursday and only a 57% and the TA the left comments did so in such a bitchy way. Then today I got back my midterm from law class and only a 40 out of 70, so just shy of a 60%. I talked to a friend who said, "Look if your not getting it now then kiss law good bye. He also did just as badly as me on the mid term, so he may have been reacting out of anger for himself. But it didn't make me feel too good.

I have now been having lots of stomach aches and headaches and i think something is physically wrong. I am overly agitated and have been mentally shutting down. I am craving more and more cigarettes and even want to start drinking, and I have never drank anything before; I have only been drunk once in my life. Nothing in life is going right for me and it has been this way now for almost a year.

On top of that the girl I told you about i think made fun of me today. I was eating a bagel with creamcheese and she remakred "oh having fun eating that bagel/" Since my brother sometimes says I eat sloppily I take it she was making fun of me. When I was oging to go into a class I was outside havign a smoke and she waved at me but I chose not to react to her, and when there was a break for class I passed her again and she said hi but I didn't say anything back. When I have to go to the class I have with her I get butterflies in my stomach and feel like throwing up. I cannot deal with being in her presense anymore, and I don't have the skills to meet new people. She introduced herself to me a year ago when I incidentaly sat beside her on first day of class because I was late and there were no seats so just by chance I sat beside her, she offered me a piece of gum, and we became friends afterwords. I wish she never did that. Now what if I meet other people and I get tangled up in the same web of emotionsd? That may not happy since she is the only girl who I have met on my own without the help fo my friends to introduce me to their friends, whether male or female.

I am even having trouble writing this message.

Please help. The only thing not keeping me from offing myself is the reaction of my family and how will I kill myself peacefully.

Full front honesty is the only good solution I can think of here. If you feel this girl has upsetted you, it is usually better to let them know that (and give them the details) instead of brushing her off coldly. Brushing her off is not gonna give her any indication that she even did anything wrong to you and she will only feel victimized for the fact that you're being cold to her. Dont let the results get to you either. I once knew this guy who made fun of my quietness infront of a bunch of other classmates, humilating me in the process. When I told him how upset I was about it, he laughed at me. Needless to say, he lost my respect after that. Yet it goes to show that sometimes even when you tell someone how and why they have upsetted you, they cant help but think it's silly that something like that would upset you. I think this girl may respond the same way to the bagel incident. So be prepared for that.

If being friends with this girl does not matter enough to you to deal with the above stuff, than it's okay to continue giving her the cold shoulder.