My Best Friend Died.

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So, I'm 15. Eight months ago, on Easter, my best friend died of brain cancer. I felt really upset, but I didn't cry in front of my friends or my parents because I was embarrassed to. I got made fun of as a kid for crying, so I tend to hide my emotions out of fear of ridicule. After he died, I felt so empty and depressed. I thought that I could shake the feeling off, and I threw myself into my artwork and fencing, channeling my grief into productive activities. And for a while, this really worked. I still felt sad, but the pain was much less than what it originally was. But lately, ever since the new school year, I can't seem to dull it down. Last year, I had a perfect 4.0 GPA, but now, I'm struggling though two of my classes because I'm too depressed to pay attention. I've cried every day for the past week, and I have to push myself just to get out of bed in the morning. I don't know. My mom and my dad don't seem to understand. They're too busy to listen, and they send me to my psychiatrist, who tells me to talk about it with my friends. But I'm terrified to talk to them about how I feel, because it seems like it would be really awkward just to bring the topic "out of thin air", so to speak. I have no idea how to cope with my grief, because I can't ignore it anymore. What should I do?

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

I feel terrible about your loss.

My best friend quit talking to me after high school, One day, he just stopped talking to me entirely. I felt exactly the same way for a while, It eventually let to me getting really depressed and hurting myself. It was scary because the kid had all sorts of issues.

Try to think about what your friend would want. Sometimes, a scrapbook of pictures may help you with coping.

How awful, I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

I think the best thing you can do is to allow your grief to happen naturally, let it happen how it will.

You can talk about it here, we will listen.

My best friend also died - brain cancer. Older than you and yours, doesn't help much.

Sympathy and listening ears you got.

Moog is right on - don't force it, don't hold it back. If public is hard for you - some of my best grieving has been totally alone listening to a song that just stabbed into me.

Give yourself room, let it be what it is.