bad couple of days.

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I tried quitting one of my meds. Bad idea.

There was an ugly episode at the movie theater. I got freaked out by the crowd and started punching myself in the face and scratching up my arms with my keys. I was with two friends. They probably hate me now.

Ever since I was little I've been unable to cope with anything unexpected. Noises, events, whatever. If I'm not prepared for it, I freak out. When I was little I would just throw a fit. Everyone told me I was an immature little brat because of this. That's what I feel like when I have an episode like the one at the movie theater. An immature little brat. Worthless. I'm almost 23 years old and I still feel like I did when I was 5.

Also, I think my brain is out to get me. Every time I do anything, I will basically "experience" the worst case scenario in my head. It's so exhausting. Before merging on the highway last night when it was snowing, my mind was playing out what would happen if I lost traction and spun out. I don't want to mentally "experience" these things. They just pop into my head. It doesn't do any good. It just makes me totally scared of everyday situations like waiting in a line, parallel parking, going into an unfamiliar building...

I really feel like a piece of trash. Useless, incompetent, immature, worthless. No good. My friends are a million times better than me. Eventually they will realize this and I won't have any friends left.

however - your friends are your friends for a reason; they see the good points in yourself that you're struggling with.
just because you can't see them doesn't mean they're not there.

If your friends know you are supposed to take meds and you tell them that you did not take them before going to the cinema with them, they will certainly understand your reaction better and they might even sympathize with you, trissy.

If they don't know you can still explain to them that you went through a couple of difficult days and that you simply had had enough. If you think you can sound sincere while doing so, you can even mention a real (or a made-up) cause as to why that reaction occured at the cinema. Maybe there was a scene in the movie that was so sad/exciting that it just put the last straw on the camels back, so to speak.

Even NTs can show odd reactions if pushed hard enough, so I think your friends will be able to accept an explanation and an apology.