People Somehow Know You Are Different

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Do you ever feel like that even when you think you are doing a good job being social people sort of smell the difference even from the most minute detail? Or do I just project my low self-esteem onto others to much.

That sometimes happens to me. In class, right when I was working on social skills, some kid said that I needed the class to learn to "talk to others" and "act more spontaneous". I really hate it, but I kind of have a low self esteem, too...I guess it's both...

Anyway, I know how you feel. It gets kind of bothersome, but...yeah...

I have experienced this my whole life and have no explanation for it.

I've had the same thing happen to me as well.

Just because of how the NTs are wired they just sense it.

It's like you have to find a happy medium with people. It feels like you have to make rigid rule sets for people in certain groups and keep them separate (work acquaintances, hobby/special interest acquaintances, family, etc) and never let any of them come into contact in ways that may be beyond your control.

I am far from low self esteem, and I know the phenomenon well.

Sparrows no human can tell apart without serious study not only wnow which is which species bu which is male and which female.

One may not be able to articulate the difference, but we can sense when it is there.

YES.

This is probably why I was bullied so much when I was younger--I didn't do anything to provoke it. They just "knew" I "wasn't like them" and jumped all over me for it.

I have learned how to act fairly "normal" by now, at least most of the time. Some people can tell, others can't. Not everyone who can tell interprets it as "wrong"--just..."eccentric." Others still actively fear me.

Last edited by conundrum on 27 Nov 2010, 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

double post, sorry.

Insightful! Yes

Despite all my social voodoo at a moment or another I end up puzzling people about who I really am.

I think they see one incoherence in the whole picture. That one thing that they did not expect to be, They might see an obvious unexplainable weakness in the middle of our "qualities", a motion that does not match what we say at a moment, or even the lack of motion when we should move.

I figure many people notice strange things about me, but don't know where it all fits together. If I were to go out in public wearing a 20' scarf and a plush squid hat, most people would suspect AS - and they shouldn't, as for all they know, my mother might have dressed me.

More so in school when things were so tightly defined as 'normal.' I remember when I was in 10th grade. I could tell at a glance who was in 9th and who was older, and I could usually tell the difference between who was in 11th and who was in 12th grade.

I think there are some remedies. Okay, even when still in school, try to make light-touch efforts from time to time to starting meeting the artistic kids (esp theater, drama) and the political kids, who I think tend to be more serious.

And workplaces, I think some workplaces just tend to be a whole lot healthier and some tend to be 'difference'-friendly.

For the record my social skills are good enough to fool experts, i've done so frequently - Love the astonished and ashamed faces if I drop the A-word plus the onset of confusion .
I am said to be charming and friendly in conversations and dealings, I've excluded alot of the personal factors that could negatively influence social activities and still it happens!

I sometimes get the remark from people (most of the times women) that they think/feel I am strange or they mention they feel unconfortable with me for unclear reasons (yes again mainly women).

Not everyone is so, some enjoy my presence others are indifferent. Might have to do with other factors then autism, I guess most likely personal preferences and social narrowmindedness.

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes

Many of my friends/ex friends have told me I am obviously different. This doesn't always mean my behavior is always unacceptable, just different and noticeable in comparison to NT types of people. Some people will tell me they like me how I am, because I am not like everyone else in regards to socializing.

i've been called eccentric and weird quite a bit. but my peers are just not aware enough about asperger syndrome to understand WHY i am different.

i do better now in a social sense, because i am happy to have the diagnosis and exbrance my differences. that has allowed me to surround myself with people who accept me.

but yes, they can tell i'm different. Shadwell, are you having a rough time of it?

I can sense that people think I'm odd, even if I don't say a word. Of course when I open my mouth, they know for sure. Then they either feel free to be wierd around me too, or back away.

Since I have begun to accept my quirks, I don't have as much paranoia about them as I used to. I also put people into categories i.e. who is "safe" and who isn't. This helps because if it seems we won't "get" each other from the get-go, I can walk away and not beat myself up about it. (Added bonus, I don't ever have to make small talk with them again)

As a teen and child people always knew I was different. I don't know as an adult. I am sure they still know but don't say anything. I remember dealing with some s**t when I was in training a year ago but I never let it get to me. I figured those men are just not nice and it's them, not me.

yes! Neurotypical people always seem to pick up something 'funny' on me. I think maybe its the way I walk, hold myself, hold my eyes (kinda set straight like tunnel vision) or my general appearance. Thats probably just my low self esteem but when I talk to people they know for sure. Perhaps that im slow in the head or that i have zero social skills. Both are true to some degree, im not quick witted in converstation ever...unless it ssomething im knowledgeable about- but even then it turns into more of a debate or a exchange of opinions with not much spontaneous dialouge. i hate it! I havn't been formalyl diagnosed and have never recieved any sort of 'training' for AS people. Some of you guys recieved this AS training, what does that entail exactly?