girls hate me

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i'm 16. i've never had a gf. girls in general hate me. my mom says it will get better in college, but i doubt it. can you guys help me?

You're only 16, there is plenty of time for girls to like you!
Yes, there are probably more girls in college so a higher probability you will find one (at least) that you like/who likes you.

Chin up!

You're looking at the tip of a vast, incredibly ugly iceberg. If I was your age again, I'd sit you down and say with great sadness and compassion that you drew a short straw. Getting laid is going to be hard for you. You must find a way to relax and love yourself anyway.

That being said, check out the PUA community. Don't let anyone say you can't do it, and good luck.

Ugghhh I know how you feel about people giving corny advice. It will get better for you, but not magically on its own as your mom implies. It will take a lot of hard work and patience to both improve and maintain your skills. It will also take mental toughness to push yourself out of your comfort zone and not get suckered into complacence. You constantly have to face discomfort too, not just do it one time and then relapse.

You will see results in months or years, but things like this typically take years for true improvement. It is a lot like working out to gain muscle.

So the thing is to take it a day at a time and apply those concepts to EVERY aspect of your life, not just your love life. Be mentally tough in every aspect of life. You can't just be mentally tough whenever it's convenient.

So yeah, there is no shortcut or simple answer. But the basics of being mentally tough must be ingrained before you understand the deeper aspects of mental toughness.

All that s**t being said, I do hope you find some hope in what I'm saying. I hate corny advice more than anyone else, and the whole appeal of them is that they're supposed to be magic pills. So yeah, to sum it up, make sure you don't feel entitled to easy results since nothing in life is easy. Don't let yourself feel inferior if you try hard and don't seem to be improving.

Challenges are supposed to be an inspiration for improvement, not a showcase of what you already have. Studies have shown that people who believe skills are malleable rather than set in stone have the intrinsic motivation to work harder and longer. Those who believe skills are set in stone are the type to have a sense of entitlement.



@emlion: Yes he's only 16, but that doesn't mean he should sit on his ass and hope he stumbles across lil miss princess. It takes a lot of hard work and persistence, so he might as well start now.

It would be hypocritical of me to say anything positive here, so I won't. I'll just point at the other aspies who seem to have relationships and the like, and say hey, maybe you're more like them than me.

And wish you good luck.

High school is a dead end for lots of kids if you have a bad reputation, especially a bad reputation among kids in your zip code. Work on improving simple things like hygiene, eating manners, and cleanlieness first. That may be all you really need to do. Unless it's something like extreme disregard of personal space (one of my major problems), I doubt a lack of social skills/non verbal is off putting enough so that "all girls" actively dislike you. Or even close off the possibility of a relationship. Try to become a better conversationalist.

Part of college is the absence of 'cliques' and a floater in high school will have trouble finding friends. Look for girls into Anime or Video Games, or meet them at the mall or at a bookstore. Try joining the Boys & Girls Club, a church group or working with Habitat for Humanity. In high school, reputation proceeds you and often a kid who was 'special education' or 'unstable' in his younger years is going to have trouble finding a girl to befriend. So in these ways, College will boost your chances at finding a partner. 16 is waaaaay too young to give up completely on women. Who knows, the problem may be you don't talk to them enough!

Believe it or not: There are girls out there who feel just like you right now. It's just a matter of finding them. I'd work on keeping female friends first and then moving on to dating.

Yes, there are girls in college. But they like the frat boys and men they meet at the bar. Don't go to college with the expectation of getting anything but a degree and some leads into the next phase of your career.

However, just in case you meet with some "success", you might consider getting yourself vaccinated against HPV now, long before you've had any sexual contact. Have you had the Gardasil vaccine? As a man, you may have not been given this vaccine, but it's still a good idea, and I've had it. Any woman you sleep with in college probably had at least a few partners before she got to you, and the HPV infection rate of women in college is very high. Many women you meet will have an asymptomatic ongoing infection. A small percentage of women who have been infected with HPV will develop abnormal cervical cells. That's why they have to get PAP smears.

high school girls are all about popularity, fashion and overall 'coolness'. most of them will grow out of it. look at yourself and see if you are doing anything obvious to repel girls or find some nice girls and ask them for an honest critique of what you are doing to prevent girls from going for you. do you smell nice? have descently stylish clothes and do your hair everyday? brush your teeth often? are you too quiet, do you seem hostile and unapproachable or just blend into the wall? don't forget they can smell desperation.
the good news is that you won't be in high school forever. once you get out into the real world things start to improve. people will judge you less by your appearance and social skills and more on if you are nice, and what you have to offer. not money only, but things like can you offer them a good time, stability, reliability, open acceptance of who they are. then you have to realize on top of that because i'm guessing you are not an athlete or a 'cool' guy that you won't get a cheerleader or model unless you are wealthy. look for shy quiet girls that have somethings in common with you. or artsy girls as they tend to be more openminded and accepting of other peoples flaws and shortcomings.
most importantly is don't become jaded and angry about it. no one is going to be attracted to the dude in the corner with the grumpy look on his face that stares at the hot girls. not that i'm saying that's you. have patience.

I'm a college student and I thought things would get better when I got to college but they didn't. So don't expect things to change. What you should understand about girls is that a vast majority of them (all of the ones i've ever been around my whole life) are shallow, and only want to be entertained. This is not a knock on women because a lot of people in the world are like that. If you can't entertain these people they will find someone that can someone that can. Just try to focus on school and goals you want to accomplish. Honestly just take a look at the people in your school and all the stupid things they concern themselves with. You can put yourself above all the nonsense be whatever you want to be.

I feel like sometimes I should just throw in the towel when it comes to women, I'm 25 and I feel time is running out for me but all my encounters with women almost always backfire horribly on me. But I don't want to give but yet I'm trying my hardest to hide the aspie me - the minute that comes out, I've killed my chances.

And I don't want to become like a couple of men, or should I say boys here in how they act socially. I'm not naming names.

ok, so i'm really old.......and things have changed........i was 21 before i was on a 'date' and 22 before losing my virginity. i assume you have a.s., so.......you'll have to find someone for you, probably not in high school. some one not driven by all the normal high school crap.

what the hell is the hurry? jesus, you have no ideal what kind of crap you're going to go through when you start hanging around with girls. stick with batman fixation for a few more years. you'll be glad you did. honest.