So... My life has been hell the past few months...

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So for the past few months I've grown to hate my diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome (Which I received when I was 11), I mean I know without a shadow of a doubt that I have it but I keep trying to make myself believe I don't and it's been pretty hard, I also have a diagnosis of Bipolar and with that I have some pretty severe depression. Along with my hatred of the Aspergers Diagnosis as well as some issues with family, friends, my Probation and legal troubles (I am on probation and being sued by the state of California because an as*hole cop witnessed me getting overwhelmed and having a meltdown) as well as just a fear of being an adult (I turn 18 in 8 months) I decided to kill myself by overdosing on my entire bottle of Remoran (An Anti-Depressant and Sedative) but the attempt was unsuccessful. Apparently my grandparents found me passed out on the ground and I woke up in a hospital the next morning getting my stomach pumped. I was then transferred to a psychiatric hospital when they confirmed my body wasn't severely damaged or anything. Now while in the hospital I was still suicidal and depressed, and the doctor I was assigned to just made matters worse. See I don't have very many support systems and live in a very unstable household and so I rely on my computer and my phone as a distraction from my depression and other issues. This doctor seemed to believe that those were somehow the cause for my depression (ret*d I know) and told and manipulated my parents and grandparents to take away my computer and phone entirely. I returned home after about a week in a half of being in the hospital and wasn't getting any better do to my parents refusing to let me use my computer and phone. My friends were overwhelmingly supportive to me and wanted to help but I just couldn't take their support and just continued my depressive spiral but after a while I started to recover. It's about half a month later and I'm doing a lot better, my parents have given me back my computer and phone and have regained my normal social contact with my friends. I still have depression issues but I'm not suicidal anymore.

I just thought I'd explain to you guys why I had been gone for a while.

It explains it, good to hear you are still alive - please don't do that again!

similar story minus the attempt, add another psych ward stay and the problem is still here.

I'm living in fear of something like that happening to me, had to leave a class due to a confrontation with a teacher. I have the same issues, with Depression instead of Bipolar. It's hard to get better with these sorts of issues when you start out with no concept of them.

Just keep hanging in there, I can't say things will get better.

But they can't get worse.

Idiots, why on earth would someone think that boring a person to death would be good for their mental health?

so, xenu, you do or don't have asperger's?

What a stupid doctor.

And thats scary that you tried to kill yourself, I'm glad it didn't work and you are not damaged from it.

It can get better. Try and ignore the aspergers diagnosis if possible, don't tell people about it etc. When I was a teenager I never thought of mine.

I hope you feel better soon.

Aspergers isn't a bad thing, dwelling on it is a bad thing. If somehow the results came back from the lab, and you officially did not have Aspergers, what changed? Aren't you still technically the same person? Aspergers or no Aspergers, it's just a label, and nothing more, until you make it more.

Now sure, I know it's easy for me to say that, but my point still stands.

sorry. i got confused because you said two things that were completely contradictory