socially useless?

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Title is self-explanatory. Really sorry for the wall of text (I really am)

I feel like my social skills are slowly disappearing. I never leave my house except for school. When I am at school I find it impossible to talk to anyone. Literally impossible. I usually just follow my old friends about at lunch when we're free, but I'm mostly silent, apart from the odd word or two. Soon my friends are probably going to start avoiding me because I'm too awkward to talk, and I'll be stuck by myself, which will make my social skills even worse, which will mean I have even lower chances of ever making friends again...

Today in science, somehow the teacher got on to talking about some university (imperial) and electron microscopes. He said most of the people there are real nerds who spend their entire lives studying these things, and aren't very interesting. It just made me really depressed because that matched my description perfectly, and I'm already well on my way to turning into a hermit.
Then when I was doing community volunteering, I realised I couldn't think of anything at all to say to my partner, even when he was talking to me...That just put the icing on the cake because I realised that the elderly people who often don't go out for weeks on end whom I'm supposed to be training to help are probably more valuable socially. I'm just getting worse and worse and I have no idea if I'll ever have friends again in my life.

God, I know this just makes me sound like even more of a beta self pitying scumbag than I already sound like, but my nights consist of thinking of ways to kill myself. I probably would never do something so stupid, and this is just a selfish thing to do when everyone else on here has things ten times worse going on in their lives, but I just can't stop these childish self pitying thoughts. I want to find a way to talk to my parents about this at least (probably the only people in the world left I'm capable of having a conversation with) but I have no idea how...

Can someone help? please?

Do your parents understand your challenges and struggles? If so, then maybe you could tell them about what the science teacher had said and about how you see yourself even now ...

My own parents never would have understood, but that was over a half-century ago and now maybe yours will.

They have social skills training for people with AS. Can you look into that?

Also, I bet those people studying at Imperial are very happy with their jobs, and survey after survey suggests that scientists and medics are the two most respected professions in the world.

I think you sound like a very strong person, with strong desires. I think a lot of the criticism and the embarassment that can usually and often accompanies AS has kind of hit its mark and the social obligations of sometimes faking it is making you tired.

Your teacher wasn't talking about you and even if he was, whats wrong with studying things? Heck, whats wrong with being a nerd? You're not a "Steve Urkel" or someone who approaches things in such a way that no one could ever possibly take them seriously. Other than that a nerd is usually someone very smart and knowledgable in certain fields.

If you don't want to leave your house to socialize, leave your house to take out the trash, or leave your house so you can go out for a walk for some exercise.

If you want to talk to your parents.. knock on their door, or just get each of them and say "I need to talk, its important".

Start off by "I feel i'm struggling.." even tell them "I don't know how to say this and I need you to really listen" That way when you attempt and or don't convey the message totally.. they at least take an extra care in talking to you or possibly asking you to elaborate on parts they missed. Just tell them the way you typed this post.. heck have them look at the post, or rewrite certain parts of it on paper to fit a conversation.

Also i'm sorry that you're going through such difficulty, i'm not taking it lightly i'm actually going through something similar (haven't left the house in a month since today) but i'm making an effort to improve.

That's the thing. He said himself there's nothing wrong with being a nerd, but the way he said it didn't make them sound like very happy people at all, and if they're anything like me, they probably don't have very active social lives...still, I don't know anyone who actually does that kind of thing for a job, so I couldn't make a judgement about them.

It's not that I'm annoyed with socialising at all. I want to socialise more, and I generally like people, but I just can't do it. I wish I could occasionally leave my house and do something with friends, but I just don't have any, and it's me thinking that if I don't get any social skills soon, I probably won't get any friends in the future that's got me depressed.

If something doesn't come off positive, try to ignore it. If you talk to your parents try to practice social behavior with them or ask your parents for advice if you trust them. You naturally have a lack of social skills, but they can be upped to some degree. Cognitive behavioral therapy, possibly could also help.

Highschool for some is not the place to make friends, I don't think I ever could of made friends in highschool. You're better off taking the 1 or 2 people you approach you in a polite or respectful manner, or have something very small in common with you and capitalize on it. Sometimes this requires you to break the ice. If you can't think of something, mimic behavior you see and try and apply it to said situation. If you want to make friends easier, i'd wait until college.

Also its not about whether the pros outnumber the cons, its whether the pros outweight the cons. Think of why you desire social contact in the first place.

If you absolutely do not have it in you to be social on any level, don't focus on being social. You're still young, focus on upping the ante in other areas. A great start as you suggested would be talking to your parents.

I have time and time again made a fool of myself while making a conversation with a stranger. I have never been able to get over that. I am a shy, nervous, guy and I think people see that from day one.

After everything that has happened to me, been said to me, I still trying to get better at sociallizing. It's a never ending journey for me, back in high school I was forced to pick up the pace quickly, but now I can relax and enjoy peoples company, instead of using it as a catalyst for my social skills.

I have no advice to give you, except don't give up. Keep trying, you'll look back at high school as a thing of the past and when you see how far you've come, it makes it all worth while.

Personally, I don't socialize as much as I used to, I don't go out to parties, get togethers, etc. I found I have more fun with my good friends or by myself. I found in time that most people are too shallow for me to converse with, but you need to experience tha for yourself to be able to make that choice.

Have a good laugh at the situation when you mess up. Having an ego makes these things much harder than they need to be. And learn to be good at apologizing.