Motivation and mood problems

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I've been unable to feel happy for some time for some reason. I've just never felt properly happy in my life, I've felt unappreciated, that I always have to change myself for someone to actually care about me and that my achievements are all worthless because I keep telling myself I could've always done a lot better. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I've hit myself to punish myself for being inadequate from time to time. At night I usually stay awake longer than I should because I don't like the idea of being out of control and unconscious and the feelings not having enjoyed the day enough and of loneliness also make me want to stay up. I feel especially lonely because at university I'm often sat by myself in lectures and people seem to avoid me because they think I'm a weird loner, since I didn't know how to start talking to people and properly make friends. The few times that I have managed to socialize with people and been accepted by them, I've gone home feeling high, my appetite would go up and I'd stuff myself with junk food.

But the main point is, I can't deal with my feelings enough to go ahead and do my work like I should be doing. I've been told the way I feel is just my mind trying to escape from doing work and taking on challenges, but that certainly hasn't helped me at all. My university exams are coming up and I was meant to start revising a couple of weeks ago, but all I do is immerse myself in anything that can make me stop feeling unhappy or completely bored of my life, including my obsessions so I just can't make myself work.

You aren't alone. You may be feeling bad partially because you have no regular schedule, I've found schedules to be helpful. Another thing I have found helpful is to write down the times at which I do things, so at least I know how much time I am wasting. However, some things just never go away completely, and I think everyone has problems to certain extent with self discipline. The other thing I would suggest (especially for the feelings of loneliness and the self beating) is seeing a psychologist. Good luck.

Thanks, what you said really did remind me of this thing in a book about Asperger's that said some student with AS excelled in highschool and failed in university due to a lack of structure and the expectations for him to motivate himself. I guess I should return to scheduling my day then. Is it worth seeing a psychologist though? I mean I'm not sure if they'd think I'm severe enough to need help but then again it's supposedly a matter of how severely things are affecting your life.

I would say so, it certainly wouldn't hurt anything to try and by what you say your issues certainly do seem serious enough to see one. I have just started seeing one recently and we haven't gotten to the point where we are working on study habits or motivation, so I can't give you an example of how much it will or won't help yet. (I get psychological counselling free through my university) There are a lot of books on motivation and self help that you can check out as well.

Yeah that is another thing, check to see if you get it free through your school, then there really is absolutely nothing to loose.