Death of loved one

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Anyone experienced death of a loved one especially around the holidays? My grandfather died Nov 5 2008. It is so hard for me to deal with his grief even though it has been 2 years. I never dealt with death before until he died. I miss him so much and sometimes I wish I was with him. I wish I was dead too. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, 4th of July, Labor Day we all get together with all of dad's family. But my grandfather is no longer here. There is a empty spot at the table all the time. The 2008 Thanksgiving and Christmas was far worse. But it doesn't get any better. I miss his jokes and laughter. I wish there was some way for Jesus to bring him back but it's very selfish of me to want that. My grandfather was so ill for nearly 4 years with heart issues and pneumonia. He was on so many medications too and was very weak. He died at home which makes it worse. My grandmother lives alone now. My parents and I stay at her place. It just is so empty and lonely at her home since my grandfather died there. I do sometimes talk to him as if he is still here. How do you deal with grief around the holidays?

My aunt and my grandpa passed away nearly a year apart from each other. They both came to every family event. Christmas is different without them, but I will have a Merry Christmas nonetheless.

Sorry for your losses My other grandmother died 8 months after my grandfather died. Then in May of this year my aunt and uncle's favorite female dog had to be put to sleep. Even though Emily wasn't my dog, I had to take my aunt and uncle to the ER vet and we all said our good byes. They came to visit my parents and I for the Easter holiday. I hope I never have to set foot in the ER vet again. Bad memories. Just looking into those big brown eyes made me tear up. I even miss my uncle's 2 previous West Highland Terriers he had. They died in 1999 or 2000. Is this a normal thing for NT though? Do people with aspergers often grieve over a pets death??

My Grandad died on the 29th of December 1999, aged 68. He had had so many complications with his heart before, partly due to smoking, and had his leg amputated not long before. I miss him, well, what I remember of him, I was only 6 at the time. My Nan has coped incredibly well on her own over the years

Yes, of course, when my brother's guinea pig Little Dude, as he named him, died, I was quite devastated, and was sadder than my brother, even though the guinea pig wasn't directly my pet.

WOW 68 is very young. My grandfather was in his 80s. He outlived all of his siblings. They passed long before I was even born. Some were smokers and some drank a lot. Most died around age 60. I had an great uncle that died when he was only 21. The thing is I didn't mention it in an earlier post is that earlier in the fall I went to NY to visit the area where my grandfather grew up. I also visited my grandfathers siblings and his parents grave site. Seeing my great uncle's birth day and death date made me cry. He was only 21 and had his whole life ahead of him. He was engaged to be married when a car crash ended his young life. He was in World War 2 as well. Even though I never met any of my grandfathers parents or his siblings, I miss them so much. Perhaps it was because I saw their graves. Is it possible to grieve over a loved one whom you never met?

I'm so sorry to hear that Anna... You have my condolences. I wish I could help you feel better and give you advice, but I haven't really experienced the loss of someone really close to me before.

I'm so sorry for your loss Anna. Unfortunately I can relate all too well as I lost my grandmother in February of last year. Almost 2 years for me as well. They say the first year is always the hardest, and that was definitely the case with me. But just last week I was leaving my job at a local mall and I saw an elderly couple there that very closely resembled my grandparents, as vivid a reminder as there is, and it hit me like a ton of bricks and it was like I was back to square one in the grieving process.

Grief is like that. Eventually enough time passes where you feel like you've gotten through it, and then all of a sudden some little reminder pops up out of nowhere and you feel the pangs again. It's not always a straight line. Sometimes it's like 2 steps forward and 1 step back. This is totally normal, and it's okay to feel how you feel.

What I'm going to try the next time there's another reminder, is what someone suggested in a thread I just posted a few hours ago: accept that the sadness is there, but at the same time not dwell on it, try to remember a fun time I had with my grandmother, and move on to something else before my mood returns to sadness. I don't know if this is something you've tried before, but I think it's worth a try if you haven't yet.

And please don't underestimate the importance of you and your family leaning on each other during this difficult time. Or if you can't, at least have someone you can talk to about it when you need to.

This is my first real loss as well, so I can't say for sure if the loss itself gets easier with time. But I do feel that over time, the acceptance of the reality of the loss becomes a little easier to swallow, even if the loss itself doesn't, if that makes any sense.

Last year in our house, we had that same experience of there being an empty chair at the table at Christmas dinner. What we did was light our Christmas candle that we usually put in the center of the table every year, but last year we put that candle in her place at the table. It really made it feel like she was there with us in spirit, even if not in body. We also told funny stories about grandma that day. It might help to talk about and remember all the fun times you all had, maybe remember some of his jokes and laugh at them.

I hope this helps somewhat and I hope that you all can have a good holiday together.

My mother in law - lived with us about 20 years - died again about two years back. Birthday in Nov, died March. My wife is feeling it this Christmas.

died again?

Was your wife and mother in law very close? I miss my grandfather every day. Some days are ok. But I just want to grab the phone and talk to him but he never answers the phone. His voice was on my grandparents voice mail on their home phone, but not anymore. There are days where I want to join him and be at peace.

There is comfort in knowing that the body is just a vessel. It just a temporary home or car while you are down here on earth. The true being, who you loved in your family never dies, they just go to another place. You will meet them again. Death of the physical body are only temporary goodbyes. We all meet those we love again. It is a cycle that never ends. Love.

I also wonder when our pets die do we get to see them again.

They graduate to become humans. You will get to follow them through their lives and become thier guides