Confused about how to handle this issue

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Today, I went shopping with my biological mother and ended up seeing 2 of my friends in a coffee shop within the store and made the mistake of pointing out they I recognized people from my college. The thing is my mother wanted me to go talk to them (didn't feel like it but I recognized the people) and eventually asked if I don't want her knowing about my friends. I honestly said yes and told her "I want to keep my personal lives separate" (friends vs. family).
I think she was hurt by this but I feel like I cannot say the reason I actually don't want her, my stepmom (her partner) or any of my relatives to meet any of my friends. I get racist/judgmental vibes from some relatives and when it comes to my parents, the closest thing they ever had to "meeting" one of my college friends besides my roommate (which was fine) did not go well or at least was odd.

I've been friends with a guy for awhile and one day when my parents were dropping off a paper I needed for my major, he asked if he could follow me after dinner to "meet my parents" just cause he likes meeting people's parents for some reason . I didn't really mind but when I met them at the car and he followed neither of my moms would get out of the car... He was just waving and being what I take as being unusually friendly. I actually thought they were genuinely freaked out by him and he's very sweet and harmless appearing in comparison to a few of my other friends.

(Other people have actually commented that he seems totally harmless.)

I eventually asked my biomom if he surprised her or made them uncomfortable or something when he followed me out and she said she was just surprised by his waving... again the fact neither of my moms would get out of the car they just handed me the paper and left worries me. I now want to avoid them running into my friends to prevent other questionable/awkward meetings and questions about them (they ask me questions particularly about the guy they saw and now assume he likes me ).

She also asked me if I'm ashamed of my friends and feel she would disapprove... I don't care if any of my relatives disapprove of my friends but would prefer my friends not have to deal with them being treated awkwardly because they are (in many cases) male and/or jewish (my grandmother at least is anti-semantic and my parents always gave me an "I don't want you around guys vibe" based on things they have said to me before (I can give examples of my parents strange switching opinions on me + males if necessary)).

It's bad enough that I've complained to my friends because I think my relatives have issues with certain types of people but I'd rather they not get names to associate with why I shouldn't be around guys, etc. I'd like some advice on how to deal with or explain this but that's not possible that's fine too.

sounds like you have set some healthy boundary's. your parents dont like it but at the end of the day its your life and your choice.

you dont really need to do anything other then maintain these boundrys you have set and eventual (it may take awhile) they will see your not gonna change for them and they will respect your privacy.

the other thing you could do is tell them you want them to treat your friends with respect and if they promise to do this you will let them meet your friends. but they have to agree.

this is just normal setting boundary's. it is hard and you may feel guilty. but it is the only way to keep your life running smoothly.

You have a point, but I don't know how to set boundaries that will cover all my friends and not just specific people...

My main issue is I don't know how to set boundaries w/o at least subtly accusing them of some form of sexism.

An example of what I'm thinking of is: "You can't tell me not to get in a car with someone just b/c he has a penis" (they literally told me something along those lines when I left for college...)

They've relaxed a bit but its very difficult for me to tell how much based on the ways their switching their "rules"

Let me see if I understand this correctly.....

Your parents are anti-semetic, racist lesbians?

For some reason I don't think it would be very difficult to find a way to teach them a lesson about tolerance and stereotyping....

Peko,
It is perfectly normal for young people to want to keep their social and family lives separate.

It doesn't mean that you are ashamed of your parents (although all teenagers are) and it doesn't mean that your friends are crack dealing anarchists.

This will pass. By the time you are 25 you will feel secure enough in your own adulthood to say to your parents "This is my friend Bill. Yeah, we are having sex. So what?"

Keeping family life and friends/aquaintances separate is usually the way to go. Managing to mix the two is great for those who can manage it, but probably only possible for those who are very much like their parents in their outlook.

I'm sorry I made this confusing, my parents are lesbians who have only recently been loosening up about me being around guys. They went from "you'll be raped if you get in a car w/ a guy" to they tried to set me up w/ an aspie like guy in the grocery store that I knew in HS to they gave me mixed signals where they are either afraid of my one guy friend or think he's attracted to me .

The racist/anti-semitic part would at least be my grandmother & most of my other extended relatives from what I can tell... I was told by my g-mom I'll be disowned if I end up w/ a jewish or black guy... YAY, an incentive to befriend such peeps . (And I'm seriously friends w/ or would willingly be friends w/ people in pretty much any "unacceptable" category).

What can I say, Jews are fun .

Except my version would probably be "This is my friend Rick. Yeah, we watch lots of porn together (and many other weird non-direct sex related activities) cause we don't like screwing. So what?"

Did something bad happen to your moms or something? That's a pretty extreme view on guys even for lesbians... I think you need to be firm and tell them you can make your own choices. As for your Grandma... YIKES!! ! I'll keep my friend away from her! (He's Jewish)

Yes, one was raped & both had 1-2 really bad ex husbands (how the kids, including me were produced). My g-mom getting milder as she gets older but at this point its more of I can't tell if my relatives including my parents will just put on an act & than bad-mouth my friends later (which makes me want to hit them) or if they'll just be rude to their faces. I actually can't decide which is worse...
But what's funny is my parents seem okay w/ guys THEY pick out... which I think means guys they think I can control.

Turns out they're okay w/ my one friend (they brought the friend meeting thing up AGAIN) but I seriously cannot read their reactions to well and even my friend who noticed something was a bit off (by NT meeting standards).