Here's my story...

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So, where do I start?

*Ahem*

All my life, up until recently, I've always wondered why I always had trouble speaking to people and making new friends. "Why do I feel so different?", I'd always ask myself.

So, my story really begins when I decided to Google search the disorder I'm sure plenty of you know: Aspergers.
I was enthralled by it. I read the symptoms over and over again. I was appalled at how many of them pertained to my situation! Ever since then, I've pretty much diagnosed myself with it. Now, mind you, being at the age of 19 and just learning about this disorder is quite a shocker.

At the time, I had been working full time and this discovery had been eating at me more and more each day. It got to the point where I couldn't finish a full day of work, let alone a full week. It had explained so much, why I was extremely shy and had intense tantrums, even at an older age.

For the first time in my life I felt extremely depressed and lonely, thoughts of suicide were daily. I shut myself away from everyone even more. It didn't help that I wasn't extremely close to my father who had anger problems, and that I only had a couple friends.

Thankfully, one of my friends I kind of stopped talking to reached out to help and offered for me to spend the night at her house for a couple weeks to chill out which helped a lot.

I did, eventually, ask my mom if she thought I had it. I do recall going to this strange doctors office only being asked questions about random things that didn't make sense and showing me picture blotters and whatnot. She hinted that I did have it, which kind of offended me. Why would they keep me from knowing? Why wouldn't they of told me at a younger age so I didn't have to deal with the emotional stress at an older age?

None of my family have the same interests as me, at all. So it's hard to bring up a conversation or even speak to them. I just feel like a complete outsider, even in my own family. I feel like I'm not interesting whatsoever.


I feel like I'm never going to make lifetime friends, I over-analyze friendships way too much. I'm not sure if anyone else feels the same way, but I automatically assume that every new person I meet thinks I am uninteresting or weird. I still have no friends really, which really sucks.

So now, here I am, still feeling empty and incomplete.

i know that story quite well its very similar to mine except i found out 5 years ago im 17 in less than 2 weeks

It's very intense discovering when you're older. It explains so much so fast.

I was diagnosed with AS when I was 9, but I actually thought nothing of it until recent years when it really made an impact. I have become much, much worse at talking to people, not learning more, just going backwards. I sat back and thought "Oh my God, this is actually real." I am currently trying to get on the road to recovery from a massive depression, with the help of medication.