Taboos about talking about obsession

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TheWeirdPig
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18 Dec 2010, 4:34 pm

I have to wonder if there is some sort of taboo about talking about and admitting to an obsession. I know that obsessions affect many people at the Wrong Planet, but how many people talk about them. How many people want to talk about them but are too ashamed to say anything. Is this something that can be talked about?

I want people to be able to open up and talk about their obsessions without repercussions and judgment.

Here are some general assumptions and beliefs that I have come up with that may or may not be true:

1. A person with an obsession has a mental disorder
2. All obsessions are bad
3. Being obsessed about a person is worse than all other obsessions
4. The only way to deal with an obsession is to quit it cold turkey
5. Obsessions need to be cured

Although it is perfectly ok for people to open up to their obsession on this thread, I'm more interested in if there is a taboo about talking about obsession. If there is a taboo, can we change it, should we change it, and how do we change it?

What does everyone think?



buryuntime
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18 Dec 2010, 4:36 pm

Quote:
3. Being obsessed about a person is worse than all other obsessions

It is if the person is living.



lelia
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18 Dec 2010, 4:47 pm

I don't know that it's taboo to mention that one has obsessions. I do know I need to stop talking about mine when my husband drags me away.



TheWeirdPig
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18 Dec 2010, 5:02 pm

lelia wrote:
I don't know that it's taboo to mention that one has obsessions. I do know I need to stop talking about mine when my husband drags me away.


No, many people say they have obsessions to some degree or another. I'm talking about the most embarrassing obsessions. For example, I can mention that I'm obsessed with getting coffee the first thing in the morning that I refuse to do anything else until there is a pot made. It's much harder to say that I'm obsessing over a lost love.



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18 Dec 2010, 5:08 pm

TheWeirdPig wrote:
lelia wrote:
I don't know that it's taboo to mention that one has obsessions. I do know I need to stop talking about mine when my husband drags me away.


No, many people say they have obsessions to some degree or another. I'm talking about the most embarrassing obsessions. For example, I can mention that I'm obsessed with getting coffee the first thing in the morning that I refuse to do anything else until there is a pot made. It's much harder to say that I'm obsessing over a lost love.


Oh, I know about that...I can't talk about that to anyone.

Kate


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TheWeirdPig
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18 Dec 2010, 5:19 pm

Meow101 wrote:
TheWeirdPig wrote:
lelia wrote:
I don't know that it's taboo to mention that one has obsessions. I do know I need to stop talking about mine when my husband drags me away.


No, many people say they have obsessions to some degree or another. I'm talking about the most embarrassing obsessions. For example, I can mention that I'm obsessed with getting coffee the first thing in the morning that I refuse to do anything else until there is a pot made. It's much harder to say that I'm obsessing over a lost love.


Oh, I know about that...I can't talk about that to anyone.

Kate


You can't talk about it because there is a taboo?



zeldapsychology
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18 Dec 2010, 7:28 pm

I agree I hate that taboo too!! ! During this past college semester I was obsessive but that is seen as "bad" behavior by my mom. I wish obsession wasn't viewed as something bad.



Meow101
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18 Dec 2010, 8:05 pm

TheWeirdPig wrote:
Meow101 wrote:
TheWeirdPig wrote:
lelia wrote:
I don't know that it's taboo to mention that one has obsessions. I do know I need to stop talking about mine when my husband drags me away.


No, many people say they have obsessions to some degree or another. I'm talking about the most embarrassing obsessions. For example, I can mention that I'm obsessed with getting coffee the first thing in the morning that I refuse to do anything else until there is a pot made. It's much harder to say that I'm obsessing over a lost love.


Oh, I know about that...I can't talk about that to anyone.

Kate


You can't talk about it because there is a taboo?


Correct. I don't talk much about it outside of this forum.

~Kate


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caissa
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18 Dec 2010, 9:28 pm

Being obsessed with a person is ok as long as you respect their boundaries, i.e. if they do not want contact with you, you do not attempt contact with them, you don't intrude on their life, etc.. Aspies have to be VERY careful not to overstep these boundaries because the obsession can be so strong we lose our perspective.



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19 Dec 2010, 12:01 am

I am proud to say that I am obsessed with Mick Avory and The Kinks and I look at myself a lot, for obvious reasons. I do not think that obsessions need to be cured and I think that whoever does think that they need to be cured, is full of beans.


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NadineWolfe
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19 Dec 2010, 3:56 am

I've learnt from experience that having an obsession with a video game isn't as acceptable as having an obsession with a singer or actor.



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19 Dec 2010, 6:35 am

I talk about my obsessions without a problem, I just don't let them dominate every conversation I have. That's the key. There is no big taboo, NTs just find it boring when someone only talks about one topic.



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19 Dec 2010, 11:25 am

I don't know if I have any obsessions anymore. Every time I would bring up my favorite subject around my friends, they would seem bored or angry (if it was a delicate subject such as critical thinking and skepticism) Wanting to get along, I try to ask people about their interests. The result is I hear my friend's obsessions, but feel I don't have an opportunity to blather on about my own.

The result is I sort of feel my obsessions are slipping out of my grasp and I am losing track of anything that is interesting to me.

So yes, I believe there is a cultural taboo against obsessions insofar as the topics that excite you are valid interests and everybody else's are unhealthy obsessions.


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19 Dec 2010, 2:43 pm

I also set limits about how much I talk about my obsessions. I don't let my special interest dominate all the conversations that I have with my friends and my loved ones.


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19 Dec 2010, 11:35 pm

This is one AS-like thing I have. My uncle even told my therapist I don't care about anything unless it involves a bird.

As a kid, I was very talkative about science, but then I shut up when I learned it was making people not like me. But for one period of time, before I knew about AS, I decided to be myself and tell everyone what I liked.... well that didn't go over well, in high school I was the Pokemon/bird freak and in college the Sonic/bird freak.

Nowadays, I only mention birds or Sonic when the subject comes up. But when it does, I go overboard. Like if someone asks what I like to do and I say birds, sometimes they start asking questions and well.... rarely someone will mention Sonic, then I go nuts.

The lady though that works with aspie kids knows about my bird and Sonic stuff but still doesn't think I'm aspie because of not that bad social skills (I had bad ones in the past). I wonder what the special interests are about then.


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20 Dec 2010, 2:19 am

People obsessions are usually taboo, yes, but I guess it's because people are led to believe that they're indicative of danger/instability (stalking, harassing, hurting them). You'd get alienated quick if you talked about obsessions with people, especially with ones you know in person. My own people obsessions were always kept secret. Not one psych or GP I've had has known about them. We'd have to get very deep beneath my shell before I would open up about them. I believe mine develop from emotional boredom/starvation or extreme desire to connect with someone rather than them being an AS obsession.