So sick of always being messed around

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I've had it, I have absolutely just about had it with being given so much false hope then being left in limbo.....

So just under 2 weeks ago, I went on a date with a friend of a couple of my closes mates, having been in contact with her for 3 months and briefly met her once before on my birthday. The date seemed to go really well (maybe a little too well) and at the end before catching the train back to where I live she promised she wouldn't change her mind and that I would definitely see her again.
Over the next few days I don't hear too much, she says she isn't well which is fair enough so I only send her a couple of messages a day but in her replies she doesn't ask me how I am getting on, at this point I am starting to wonder if something is up.

On christmas day I message her wishing her a very merry christmas but don't get any sort of reply at all (regardless of the situation that's a bit rude in my opinion) then a couple of days ago leave her one more message just asking how she is, again no reply. I also found out from a mutual friend of mine and hers (who was not aware of the date between me and her I must add) that she has de-activated her facebook account and has essentially done a complete disappearing act.

If she's changed her mind (which I admit is most likely) why couldn't she have the decency to say so, rather then just going awol.

What annoys me more is that this is the third time this year alone where this has happened, the date itself has gone fine, the girl has said she wants to meet up again then I hear nothing afterwards. It's got to the point now where I am convinced that women don't want guys who actually want relationships at all, because that isn't a challenge for them.

Almost every-time I go on a date now I either end up disappointed and lied to or the girl will drop me for another guy if anyone else suddenly has an interest in her.

Either way I get shown no respect and I'm sick to death of it.

most guys i've been out with just want a quick leg over - maybe they think your not being sincere when you're wanting a relationship and using it as a line to sleep with them.
that's happened to me - they do the whole 'i want a meaningful relationship' routine, i give them a chance and once i sleep with them i never see them again.

(eventually i found a boy who WAS sincere with it, and when i gave him a chance (he tried about 10 times to make us serious and i thought he just wanted me for sex) i realised he was serious and it is lovely)

just need to find the right girl, and it'll all be worth it in the end, and at least this is all experience.

If it's any consolation, women sometimes experience similar things, too. I've also gotten the "I'll call you" or the "We'll have to get together again soon" after meeting someone and then never heard back a few times. Sometimes people don't have the courage to be honest and that isn't within your control.

But, something you can do that might help is to try giving the person a little space after a date, ie. not sending them multiple messages or asking them to promise not to change their mind. Some women might feel uncomfortable with getting a lot of intense attention from someone they haven't had time to get to know yet; it can be good to take it slow sometimes. Not that I'm the best person to be giving out dating advice, though ...

I'm sorry if I made you feel defensive, that wasn't my intention. For some people a message a day is too much, though. I could be wrong about this, but I'd always thought a general rule of thumb was to wait about two days after the date, then give the person a call? And, if they don't respond, just let it go? Maybe I'm just behind the times a little, though, and you should get a second opinion. I know technology and text-messaging have really changed the way that people communicate in recent years.

Daemonic-Jackal-
You said in your post that the date had maybe gone "too well". What do you mean by this?
As an autistic I know that my emotional structure differs from NTs in that I can have very strong emotions very suddenly which I can't suppress and they can be contaigous to others. Unfortunately, I have only figured this out late in life after wondering WTF with a lot of people over the years where everything seemed to be going swimmingly then I get the cold shoulder and sudden cut-off, no explaination.
I know I have no scary intentions but I didn't see that they might have read it that way.
Maybe next time try to keep it under the "too well" level and I'd agree that less follow up would be better. You might be scaring them.

If on the other hand it was the girl who came on with lots of emotion then dissappeared, then I'd agree she might have some problem. Lots of people do. Don't let that stop you from finding someone.