I just can't "hope" anymore . . .

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I've been struggling with depression for 7 years now, and it is always getting worse.

For a while (years), I was able to put on a facade, believing that it would get better, and that "maybe", my depression was starting to go away. But then I would see I was still in the same black pit I had always been in; no enjoyment, dragging my feet through each day just to get it done, only to wake up to another day filled with the same crap.

But now, I just can't do it anymore. I can't hope anymore. Every time I hope, I end up getting that hope shattered by the reality that I am just getting worse as the years pass, I'm 23 years old, it's been 1/3 of my life!! !

I'm mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. My brain is fried. I can barely get up the energy to shower before my parents get home from work.

I can't do it anymore. It's not like I'm suicidal, but my only hope is in death, when I am finally with God.

I can't take anti-depressents; ironically, they make me suicidal, or they make me rage.

I also feel like I am losing touch with reality. I'm slipping into this delusional fantasy world that's in my head more and more, unable to cope with the realities of life, like having to go to college to get a decent career. I'm worn out, I can barely get myself to eat, how am I supposed to go to college, or even get a part-time job?

What should I do? Has anyone else gone through this? Please help.

I have spent these past two years arriving at that very same place, and I presently sit here typing because my doing so at least gives me a little bit of "hope" of possibly yet being useful to someone else ... and I can do that until about noon before having to switch to watching old movies while napping in complete exhaustion.

Many people before us have suffered much worse, so I glean encouragement from them and just keeping doing whatever I can.

galleygun, you MUST figure this thing out. Don't ever give up. You are too strong to give up. You are too important. The world needs you. You need to find out what it is that you came here to do. You have a purpose, you have just been deluded by this evil and corrupt world and you don't know where it is but keep searching. Private message me and I can help you figure this thing out. You really can get out of the black hole, there is happiness once you realize how special you are.

I have been on anti-depressants for 30 years. Generally they work ok but here I sit. Also in the fuzzy world darkness once again. My son too is depressed and won't take advice. I can not help him.
Advice? what anyone would say.
Anti-depressants don't work well on teenagers. Your older and newer medications may be available.
See a doctor if you have the energy to pick up the phone or have someone else do it.

At 23 you are too young for this. Get yourself to a good doctor who knows how to help with this. Conventional psychiatrist or holistic for natural supplements to address your depression.

it can change. It's biological and someone really good may be able to help you straighten this out.