I usually never make friends fast, like I'm very comfortable with taking my time getting to know someone and it just kind of melts in to a friendship over a pretty long period of time. However, there's this new girl at my school who has talked to me quite a bit since she's arrived because we both share a similar passion for music, both are multi instrumentalists, and like the same types of music. For some reason, I feel like I've kind of clicked with her (note I said I've clicked with her) in the way I'd usually click with a really cool person once I've known them for quite awhile. They're kind of verging on more than a friend feelings, (I'm physically attracted to her, I love the sound of her name and voice, and so far I love her personality) but I can't say they actually are because my mind just can't comprehend why I'd develop such strong feelings for someone I barely know at all. It's freaking me out, because I feel like since I feel like I'm moving so fast, she probably can pick up that I'm moving in this unnaturally fast manner and it's probably making her extremely uncomfortable.
Because I feel this way and a part of my brain is so sure that she absolutely did not get that same immediate 'click', it's getting increasingly hard for me to talk to her because I feel like I'm burdening her and creeping her out. At the same time, I have this ret*d desire to spend time with her and get to know her better, and I feel like she's kind of picked up on that and is getting creeped out too (although at least one of my friends has said it's all in my head). In fact, my friends seem to have pretty good confidence in me with her for some reason, but I just feel like it's already over and I've already f****d it up, even though I have no idea what she actually thinks of me (probably nothing at all! Tell that to the emotional part of my brain
).
For example, today I tried striking up a conversation on Facebook, just simply saying hello how's it going. I haven't talked to her since the end of the school week. She was online (not away), but I got no response for 15 minutes (although because I was anxious it was probably shorter than that.) This just kind of made a huge flood of anxiety rush through me, and my mind bolted to conclusions that indeed she was creeped out by me and all kinds of crap like that.
On my facebook page, I always post music videos of songs I'm really in to at the time instead of statuses, but lately I've been starting to feel like she's going to see a song I post and think it's about her (maybe it is subconsciously?) and get creeped out.
Etc etc, you probably get the idea by now. But normally none of these things would ever cross my mind at all, and I feel creeperish even think through all of it this way. Maybe I just won't let myself win no matter what? I don't know.
Basically I am anxious as all hell right now, and I have no one in real life to talk to about it really. I feel like I'm doing everything really wrong with this, and I have no idea why, or what to do about it. Does anyone have some advice?
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If all mankind were to disappear, the world would regenerate back to the rich state of equilibrium that existed ten thousand years ago. If insects were to vanish, the environment would collapse into chaos.
-E.O. Wilson
Last edited by DerKodeMeister on 16 Jan 2011, 6:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.