thinking of leaving

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I'm thinking of taking my two kids(both on the autism spectrum and so am I) and leaving my husband. To go and get my Masters...if I get accepted and he tells me no on going back to school. I don't know how I'm going to do it....I don't have a job, no prospect of a job, and I have no idea how to manage.......I manage the house, the kids, meals, food and clothes but I'm really afraid but I HAVE TO get my degree. I have to get a job and work. I'm just afraid....I know nobody is ever going to care about me again but I can't stay he doesn't care about me or my dreams. I have to take care of my kids and he told me last night he doesn't care if we(me and the kids) live under a bridge. That I'm lazy and he's kicking the 3 of us out if I don't get a job(I'm in school full time, take care and do all therapy w/kids, and manage the house)That he's supported me for 8 yrs(I worked all through college, after college when I had a high risk pregnancy and then was at home with our children. I've been going back to school since summer and graduate this summer.

Good luck to you. Try to have something planned ahead though. (I don't know what else to say)

I'm pretty sure I can get student housing and thus have a place to live. I'm also pretty sure I can get disability for my son which would help pay for food,along with WIC, and possibly food stamps. I could probably stay with my mother until I get situated w/some gov programs. The school will do Speech therapy, OT, and PT for son. If we're lucky they'll pick up daughter(who is probably an Aspie)

Other than that I don't know what I'd do about clothing.....for the kids and if son gets SS then he'd get medical care....but that leaves me and daughter out in the cold with no health care.

Well I told him that I am going back to school no matter what and that I will get free healthcare as a student. He's told me he will let me go back to school and etc etc......but I still think he's a giant rat.

Kate, I hope you do do this, the truth is that being on your own is far better than being in a toxic environment. So many people say this. And you will have people here and other places online who will support you every step of the way. Perhaps you could look for groups and services in your communities that help get mothers back on their feet when they build a new life for yourself. You could also browse online forums too of womens who have taken a similar step.

Keep us posted anyway....

the thing is I've decided I need to better myself by being able to support myself. If husband isn't a giant horse's you know what about it I'm going to finish up my degrees and he can forget about me staying in Texas. I suggested that he stay in Texas and the kids and I move back to Alabama. I honestly do need to finish and having two special needs kids I'm not going to leave unless it is totally unbearable. Both kids and I have major health problems and have a better chance with "daddy" in the picture.

Going back to school is a big step towards independence and it's one I need to take. He's told me we should stay together until I can support myself. I think if it's not utterly toxic we should try. So going to try a different marriage counselor.......next week.

I applaud you sincerely for your courage in wanting to change your life scenario as a whole..
Yes, it shall be difficult but, I feel you'll manage to overcome many of the obstacles out there..


Sincerely,
ProfessorX

I can't offer anything to help and I wish I could. Good luck, I'll be rootin' for you.