Dreams faded away......

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To recap my story a bit, as a child I was labeled Emotionally Impaired and ADHD, though some of the stuff resembled AS, especially almost daily meltdowns and the school having to intervene to teach me social skills.

Anyway going to college, I refused disability status. I made it through with a 3.3GPA in zoology. After that, I had a few jobs relating to birds, but teaching came to a halt after a severe shutdown in front of a bunch of children. Then I tried research, but I mentally broke down on jobs or not physically fit enough.

Because of mental illness and anxiety, I am on disability and live in a smallish town in an apartment I can barely afford.

I REALLY want to get back on my feet again and really want to go to Graduate School, but there are some problems:

I have weak muscles, so I find it hard to get in shape.

I signed a long lease with the apartment complex, the unemployment rate here is about 15%, and due to my weird resume, probably can't find a job here, I am going through vocational rehab services though.

No jobs here applicable to my field.

My GRE score is expired and it's an expensive test.

I can't think as well as I used to because of the meds.

Any suggestions? I'm feeling really down.

hey ANGNIX.....sorry to hear you're having some tough problems.

my sister has a phd and was a professor at ut in austin. she walked into class one day, sat at her desk and froze. couldn't/wouldn't move or talk. last time she taught. ended up working for her church. she was always a wreck, our family has unbelievable history of mental illness.

what do i know that can help you.....probably nothing.

michigan ........ you've probably have to leave. long term lease? what are they going to do, sue you? you give the impression you're broke. sometimes you have to do tough things. sometimes you have to get away. sometimes you have to take a job that you never thought you'd have to take. there are animal shelters/rescues that specialize in exotic birds and would probably love to have you at their facility. a sanctuary i was affiliated with had some birds who were special needs macaws/conures. it was great working with them, trying to give them the safety and peace they deserved.

wish i could help more. good luck to you.