If my ex girlfriend won't get back with me, what do I do?

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When is enough enough? When do I just give up on this one?

I think now would be a good time to find a new girl

I think now would be a good time to find a new girl

Why ask a generic question to a situation that will be entirely circumstantial to the relationship which took place between yourself and your former partner?

There is not some set time post relationship breakup which is described as the "get back together timeframe"

Ok first off...

What happened to have the relationship end in the first place?

Second...

How long has it been?

Cause you need a minimum of at least 3 months with NO (as in NONE) contact to cool off get things in perspective for both you and her. If she still retains feelings for you those will become apparent in the future

If you maintain some kind of idealic outcome in your head your simply only going to set yourself up for serious disappointment or expect too much from whatever relationship you salvage from the situation

Also theres this to consider. Your ex has a brain of her own, feelings of her own, pursues her life with her own agenda and what she wants. If she does not want to get back, she doesn't want to get back don't force it don't entertain those fantasys's respect her wishes. Acting like an emotional ret*d just won't cut the mustard. Again, you know that person better then me, I can talk about my ex and my circumstances if that comparison is somewhat helpful, but i think my situation and yours will differ and our approaches may differ too. So what help that will be i leave up to you

Slow break ups are like torture. I found that doing it like a band-aid was better for me. The way I always thought of it was like pulling weeds - if you know something shouldn't stay, you don't waffle over it. You just pull it, toss it aside and move on. Weeds just choke out the flowers and over run the bed.

its time to MoveOn.org.

Eye C0nCuR

I want to be part of her life though - I hate how people just run away - that doesn't solve anything... it's not logical... it doesn't help soothe my pain at all. I don't know if I can move on without meeting someone else, but I am loyal and I don't want to do that.

I'm a Spartan.

I feel your pain, I really do. One problem I've had with AS is that it has turned me into a creepy stalker. It took me a LONG time to figure that out. There was this girl I got stuck on about the time I started really getting to know the girl I'd marry. She dumped me so she could go out with other guys, and I didn't handle it too well because I'd broken off what had been a very long relationship with someone I finally realized wasn't good for me (and that was NOT easy because of some mutual co-dependency issues) to be with this girl. And I NEVER break up with girls. After my wife and I had been dating for a while, I broke up with her because I had a chance to get back with the previous girl. Things were ok until the summer, and I finally came to terms that she wasn't really interested in me and she dumped me...AGAIN. I pursued her for two months or so after that, really just having fun with her because I thought she could really be stupid sometimes, and then I decided I had better things to do than run after a girl who didn't really like me at all.

The funny thing that happened during this time was when I just stopped calling her. It took a few weeks, but out of the blue she just called because she hadn't heard from me in a long time and was worried about me. Yeah, right. Whatever. I kept my distance from her and paid more attention to that curly-headed, hot brunette that couldn't seem to leave ME alone--to make a long story short, we've got two AWESOME kids now and couldn't really be happier.

Please. Don't be creepy stalker-dude. Been there, done that, and that's just pathetic. And don't JUST go running after the next thing that pays you any attention. If it affected you that much, try this: Hole yourself up (socially speaking) for about 8 weeks to 2 months. Somewhere in there, take about about three days (you can do this on a weekend), stay in bed, avoid any/all food and just drink water. Don't do ANYTHING until that time is over. It's a cleansing/purging time, and it will help you start to heal. Get any/every thought of women, even your experience with this one, completely out of your head, and then after you've just avoided people (outside work and other obligations) for a while, then try to start over with dating and otherwise just getting to know someone. Avoid getting too attached too soon, and be prepared for things NOT to work out. Finding the right person is a process. Don't rush it.

I'm sorry for all the tough love. There's something to be said for loyalty. But do you know who else is loyal? Dogs. You're better than a dog, dawg. And since she's obviously not loyal to YOU, you have no obligation to her yourself. You need to work on YOU for a while, and things will eventually start to get better for you.

Contrary to popular belief, being with someone ain't ALL THAT. I went out with the same girl for six years, got engaged, and ALMOST married her when I realized how miserable I really was, had been for a long time, and how I'd be happier just to be alone for the rest of my life. It's a good thing I ended that relationship, despite what happened immediately afterwards over the next year, because I ended up with someone that I COULD be happy with and could be happy with me. Sounds to me that you're somewhere in the middle of all this, so just hang in there.

I know it is hard, but she has decided she does not want to be part of your life, and you cant force her to take you back. I wish I had some good advice. All I can say is take some time to evaluate what went wrong- if anything- and let yourself heal. If you pursue her still she might think you are a stalker and it can get you into trouble. I hope you feel better soon and things look up for you.

Thank you for the help everyone.
I feel more relaxed now... it feels a little empty not being able to really talk to her much though... going the night without talking to her for a few nights feels strange.

Its that you started feeling relax without her now enjoy your life and this time find a true lover for yourself.

Move on.

Move on! forget your ex girlfriend!