To be with a loved one

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Has anyone lost a loved one and the pain of their death is so painful and you miss them so? They could have died very recently or years ago. If so do you also wish you were with them? My grandfather died when he was 87 years old. He died nearly 3 years ago. I saw him in his casket at his viewing and that was the first time I ever saw or touched a body. I was very sad during his viewing and his funeral. I understand that those with aspergers don't know how to react at funerals. But to me it's simple. Your loved one is gone and that is painful. I can't imagine the loss of a loved one especially if they were so young. Due to so many things going on in my life: I hate my job and I'm overwhelmed and need to find a new one, I have several medical heath issues, I'm lonely, no friends, and I'm always sad and people put me down. I just want to see my grandfather again. I want to die. I am Christian, so I believe my grandfather is with his deceased loved ones and in heaven with Jesus. I know some on the forum aren't Christian and I respect that. But I just believe when we die we will be with our loved ones again. I just want to die so bad. Can medical doctors put people to sleep? They do it for pets, why not us???

Not in most places. There is that clinic in Switzerland, I think?
The sanctity of life overrules for most doctors - and they probably couldn't live with taking a life.
Think about all the people you'd leave behind.

Last month I got into a relationship with an old friend. She was absolutely perfect in every respect. She died in a brutal car accident a short while after. It was like having my heart torn out in the most brutal way possible. I was close to being suicidal. If I was any weaker, I would have definitely killed myself because the pain was so intense. Honestly, if I could have even one second with her, a single instant, to be with her again, I would do anything for it.

I still grieve, I still feel very much attached. It likely will be a couple years before I can heal enough to love again. This pain will be with me until I die.

Regardless, losing someone is not a reason to kill yourself. Life is something you only get once, you should live it to the fullest, live on so that you'll have a lot to talk about when you see your loved ones again.

Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas are the hardest. My grandfather would have been 90 in July. I have a picture of him and my grandmother that was taken few years before he passed. I never said bye to him before his death. I miss him still so much. I never met my other grandfather since he died before my parents ever got married. I have nights where I cry myself to sleep and I cry out his name. With this constant sadness, depression, anxiety, overwhelmed at job, dealing with ignorant co workers who think people with autism are stupid, feeling like certain family members wish I was normal, no friends, no social life. I don't think mental heath providers care at all. They just want to overmedicate their patients or want money. I have seen specialists. I tell them how so and so did this to me and how it hurt me, but always these specialists blame it on ME. HOW does that make me feel? How can a specialist blame their patient? Screw mental health providers. WE pay them for help, not pay them to bully us back.

Well, some situations, regardless if they seem like it or not, actually are our fault. Because I don't know the details, I can't say. Do keep that in mind, just in case.