Anxiety

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I think that I've had my very first Anxiety Attack, after I've finnished my Dinner, this Evening. I knew that something wasn't quite right, as I was eating. I was almost in a Ball and I was avoiding Eye-Contact with my Parents. Than I've gotten up and started to dry the Dishes. I was standing there in a Daze with my Heart racing, Tempature rising, Body shaking, Face turning Red, I was having Hot and Cold Flashes at the same time. I was feeilng dizzy and it was almost as though I was looking at 2-D Images through a Viewmaster. Than all that I could see, were Gold and Silver Specks, the size of Periods. My Family isn't a very open Family. I can't say anything about my Obsessions when my Dad is around. I feel that I'm not even allowed to breath around him. I can't blink or yawn, even though none of that is really true, but that how I feel, when I'm being hushed by my Mom, every time that I mention anything about London, when my Un-Educated Dad is around. I wasn't even going to mention words that have anything to do with London. I was trying to speak in Code, when I was showing my Mom the reciept towards a Knick-Knack of a Routemaster beside a Building and I was hushed. Than I was seeing my Dad as The Enemy all through Dinner, because he doesn't even care to do his Research, and that he thinks that all people with "Problems" are "Slow" and that's final. I'm average, or above in Intelligence, and I'm not the Loser that he makes me out to be, and my Obsessions are very real, but he doesn't get it. I feel like I can't even make a mistake, while breathing around him. This could get me out of the house, in a hurry, before I'm ready. I feel like a Bloody 10 year old around my Parents. Things sure haven't changed between us, since Bleeding 1985.

i never get anxity attacks but i have it constantly everyday, every night, every second.
it's not as servere as you explained your was but it's enough to let me know it's there and from what i heard from my mom and dad who both have\had acid reflux it kinda feels like that, a nice little dull ache all day but usually doing something takes my mind off of it. oh and i don't have acid reflux i've already taken several different pills for that and none helped.
so i know what anxity feels like i'm glad i don't get it that bad. well i hope that this doesn't happen that much cause it sounds awful.

I have some of those symtoms

hiya,

i think you obbsession with routemasters is awesome, and lion agrees.

we might not be with you in the flesh (or the atoms of course) but we are there in the internet.

jammie

Thankyou to all of you. It's nice to have a place that I can truly call Home.

When I have had panic attacks in the past (usually walking in public several
years ago it would happen) I would mainly feel it as I lost control of my breathing.
It would get very heavy. Then I would fear people would notice and I would try to hold my breath . Which I then nearily suffocate myself.

i have one question.
what's a routemaster?

I had anexity about 75% of the time during middle school...It was terrible...I even felt embarresed having anexity alot during middle school and it became diffuclt for me to talk to people even after middle school I think I'm still suffering some some anexity. I think I had alot of it last year.

It does sound like an anxiety attack. It is very hard being around people who you can't be yourself with. It sounds like your father is one of those. Mine was, too. I hope things get easier.
I know you are a kind person, I have seen you show kindness and encouragement to others here, so it's your dad's loss that he doesn't appreciate that you are unique in a good way.
I get obsessive over compost . He should try dealing with that for a change .

cool i like veichiles [can't spell] too.
but i'm more into suvs my current fav is the saturn vue i want to get one so bad.



i also like planes and jets, cars and trucks it's mainly overshadowed by my kh2 fetish.

thanks i just found it.

I love Routemasters.

I've been trying to move off Buspar recently (prescribed to take 3 every night) because I was getting annoyed at how it makes me feel "high" and interferes with my concentration. On Monday I took two, Tuesday I had one, then on Wednesday and Thursday, I had none.


Tuesday: Awesome day. Very clear in thought
Wednesday: Ok most of the day. Got overly shaken up by an incident in church
Thursday: Vaguely nervous most of the day
Today: Outright scared most of the day, reason unknown. Far moreso than I remeber being in recent years (though I had only started feeling much of anything again in the last few months)

I took one this morning to try to fight it, but it causes me to fall asleep during the day if I don't take it at night. The anxiety has basically been a constant factor today, but less so about four hours after taking the pill (though I did still fall asleep while I was attempting to prepare for a presentation, so I wasn't able to give it today... good thing I'm just auditing the class)


I don't want to be on this stuff anymore!
Why does crap like this happen when I try to stop?

gsilver:
I don't know much about Buspar, I hadn't heard of it until you posted about it here.

It intrigues me because it's getting listed with Benzos such as Valium, but works in a different way to those.

To me it sounds like you are withdrawing way too quickly. I have gone "cold turkey" off a low dose of Aropax (Paxil) and stayed in bed for a week!

Anyway, is the Buspar in tablet form or can it be obtained in a tablet, then can you get a pill cutter from the chemist/phamacist and slowly reduce your dose, week by week.

Say
Week one - 3
Week two - 2.5
Week three - 2
Week four - 1.5
Week five - 1
Week six - 0.5 or none


CockneyRebel
That sort of family stuff sucks and would make anyone anxious. I remember going through similar myself, except I had no diagnosis, I didn't get my dx until I was 30.

When I got dx, I was pressured into it and then also hushed up by my Mum, but she couldn't hush me up for long, I am in my 30's I can say what I like, especially because I don't live at home!

I don't know, maybe start researching if/when/how you could eventually go about moving out. Even if you don't that can take away the anxiety, knowing that you have other options.

I love Routemasters, especially the one in your Avatar, I hope you don't mind me saying I think they are cute