cluching lion

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jamie sits on the end of his bed with lion between him and the computer.

his reasons are many, as he sits there he squirms in his nappy and he suckles on his dum dum. he is thinking has ben thinking for hours, still not home.

a freinds mum who understand has contacted the autism services, she understands, many do not. most do not

supported living, your out on your own. time for a reflection.

I destroyed my mum. all the years of being me finally drove her ver the edge and she tried to take her life. they locked her up and then she stated having her episodes. she would forget who she is an wonder off, trying to return to her farther from years before.

She walks she remeber no one.

I destroyed her. i didn't understand.

I destroyed my dad, Jamie the kid who eats the chips of the floor after people have stood on them, the kids who attcks people with chairs, the kids who would sit in the middle of the floor in the drama room and havea privite performance in his head. He hate footbal, we even tried to get into footbal, took him to a club but they told us aftera few months not to come back.

he works ina pub buisssness, i was scared of the darts i had no social skills, i was a wierdo.

My sister, i destroyed her. She well, i dont speak to her much anymore.

Nat, i tried to be his brother, but i had no clue. i failed him.

Kate, we did alot i learnt alot, she knows th me and she like to yell it at me. I am evil i hurt people.

people are people,
pain is pain.
scream is scream
silence is silence


sit around for amny more hours and pace my room. My life.

still no home, dunno where or when i am going, my social worker was meant to ring today.

death, the lack of life anymore.

i am not dead

I liked reading that. You have an ability to put a reader in your perspective, and a candour that is refreshing.

But I dont think people destroy other people, at least not in that sense. We are each responsible for dealing with the life that we have, and we cannot deal with the people around us, it is not their fault.

Jamie, The failing is on their part. They lacked the strength, the flexibility and the moral character to accept you as you are, and to love you regardless.

Fuzzy.

oh wah.

Last edited by lightsounds on 07 Jul 2006, 11:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

my hanky is soo wet.

lightedsounds, this is the haven section of WP. Its for people to post when they feel helpless, lost or confused, unloved, or unwanted. It is a place to get away from mocking and criticism.

In other words, please dont mock other peoples feelings here. You can do it anywhere else in WP, anywhere else on the net, and anywhere else in life.

I'm not a very touchy-feely person either, but thats the rules for in here.

I agree with Fuzzy. The Haven should be a safe place for us Members to express our Pain, without feeling like we're under a Microscope.

Jammie I know how that is but you didn't understand. I don't think you are an evil person jammie. No you're a good person. I don't think you would of killed anyone. Hope things are going well.

Jammie/Jamie, from your postings, I really don't think you would destroy anyone.


If we gave you weapons and put the phrase 'Inter armes silent leges' into action, then there is a possibility that you could kill someone.

Destroying and would however are differnet things altogether. I don't think you're that kind of person. I mean, people who care for stuffed toys, like people, in my experience are NEVER bad.
(Nothing to be ashamed of, I do too)

lightsounds was in the wrong, the haven is a place to come to for comfort.

It was set up because members complained about their genuine problems being called 'trolling' hence this, approach anything in here with an open mind.

*stares at lightsounds*

i don't think you destroyed anyone... peoople may have let yo beleive you were destroying them but thats not true


your mom, for example... you said you made her try to take her life but then you said...

this would be somthing that she did to herself or her own mind did to her...

you said you destroyed your dad because of many things you have done as a child... but i did all the things you listed +more and my parents are fine... don't let people think its your fault when they let bad things happen to themselves.

Your Family Members brought those problems upon themselves. You didn't do anything wrong, at all.

jammie, from all the posts and chat room visits i never seen anything evil in you. you are a very good person jamie, please dont take your parent's problems personally they may have issues and not able to accept a person for who they are. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!!

Hi Jammie, how are things going today? It sounds like you are having a really hard time dealing with issues with your parents and the new fosterhome.

What is it that you've done that you think is so bad? There is no way that you are responsible for your mother's mental illness no matter what.

Things will get better, one day this will all be in the past. You just have to hang in there.

hiya,

i have been able to "acuire and internet connection" thank you all for your message, it has been a bit of a shock!

i will be in the chat from time to time, hope to speack to you there.

jammie

Jammie I am so glad to see your back....I would really miss your insights,honesty and writing if you had lost conection with us!Oh my gosh, hope thats not to much gusshy emotion...now I might have to avoid you out of embarressment....but I'll get over it ...Anyway,welcome back!(krex pounces jammie and gives a head but and a nuzzle)

jammie it is good to see you back

You're a welcome part of our Family.