What people think...

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Well due to this whole aspergers thing I realise sometimes people get the wrong idea....For instance the other day I was talking to my mom and she accused me of being sarcastic.....so I told her sarcasm is intentional and since that was not my intention I could not have possibly been being sarcastic. Another common one is people sometimes think I am lazy and selfish.......when really I have a very low energy level which I think is related to my depression and low self confidence. As for being selfish I think that might come from the fact that I have a really hard time with a lot of excpected social norms. I mean even though I often think a lot more about other people and how what I do would effect them.......I still get that. I could go on and on about the mis-conceptions people have about me but that's not the point of this thread so on to that.

Sometimes I feel like I could use these misconceptions to my advantage.....I mean a lot of times I feel like I am too nice, I do a lot of things for other people. So I guess I feel like if people already assume I am a lazy, selfish, sarcastic person maybe that is what I should be. I mean obviously I cannot rid myself of the feelings and emotions i have inside.....but maybe I should not put so much effort into trying to 'prove' that I am not lazy, selfish or sarcastic by nature but just come off that way sometimes. It would save me a lot of stress. Not sure If I am making sense but I am sick of feeling like I have to defend myself against wrong assumptions and do too much for other people so they don't think I'm selfish. So maybe I should adopt the philosophy of 'I am whatever you say I am'.......If people want to think I am selfish and lazy then that is what I will remain in their mind. I should quit seeing it as my problem when people make those kinds of assumptions.

What other people think about you is their issue, what you think about is your own issue. It is hard to let oneself realise this to be true but it is. People will think what they will think and it's very hard to change their minds.

I'd suggest to look at why you do what you do for others. If you're doing it for you, it's one thing and if you're doing it for them it's quite another. If you're doing things for people to stop them saying certian things, does it stop them from saying these things when you're tired and can't do them for a while?

I think seeing how you can care for yourself may help you. Taking time for yourself is a good thing when it is in balance with your responsibilities. Perhaps your balance is not quite right, people in general in my experience don't think of taking care of themselves as something that is a good thing.

I hope things feel better for you soon.

That also happens to me, and all I had done was to express something logical ... and I think the problem other people have there is founded in their competitiveness with each other where we are not.


Yes. Even when we sometimes "get it right", we still do not accumulate the courage to continue on.


I do that too, and I do it as both a defense mechanism and as a vent. By showing excessive "lazy" when accused of being lazy or by making stinging remarks when I get accused of sarcasm, I thus "stick it in their ear" or face and expel pent-up energy I see no point in burning elsewhere.


Learning to just be who we are while still trying to do the difficult things and not defending ourselves is tough ... and yes, very stressful.


Yes. We can only do what we can do ... and then we can only hope other people will eventually catch on. Personally, I had to stop trying to defend myself or explain myself altogether in order to finally just accept myself as I am and do as I believe I should ... and now with the confidence of that, what other people think of me is no longer a driving concern of mine.

I sure hope that helps!

It's the other people who have the problems, not you.

other people's thoughts do not exist in my mind.
the only thoughts i ever have are my own. if someone else says to me that they think something, then i just think "well there one goes".

i do not place any weight in the opinions of anyone but me. i, and i alone will tell myself what is happening.

that is why i never learn.

but that is also why i never learn about the deception and fraudulence of humanity. i should know by now but i still keep thinking about it in non belief.

Meh. What other people think is generally irrelevant.

I concur with everyone else . I've also had the same thing: "Lazy/selfish/malicious/spiteful/etc", and for years I've agonised about it. I mean, if all these people say these things about me, then surely they must be true, right?

Nope.

Taken singly, each of the people accusing me had their own issues which came out in the accusation:

1. The girl who accused me of flirting with her BF had serious unconfidence issues which were exacerbated by her BF's inability to keep his hands to himself. I found that she had also accused 2 married women and one long-term GF of having designs on him before she attacked me, so...
2. The one who accused me of being deliberately malicious, spiteful, selfish, etc in order to break him up with someone so I could have him, has serious mental health history - Depression with paranoia which he himself admits. As well as that, I know for a fact that he refused to listen to anyone who told him that the girl in question wasn't interested and was just stringing him along because she felt bad for him, so...

You see my point? If you look at the people involved, then suddenly all you can do is feel sorry for them - their view of the world is so bleak and rigid. I don't know how they can stand it . And unfortunately, it is in human nature to pass the buck - it's easier to blame someone vulnerable and nice for stuff than it is to accept that it may be their own fault.

yeah I know it does not really matter what people think, its just rather annoying and I am done trying to prove them wrong.

I quit caring what people thought and I don't even try and prove to their faces anymore they are wrong.