So much s**t going on right now...

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I'm currently having a lot of emotional stress... So today I find out that I won't be graduating this year from High School because I'm not passing any classes (and I've been working my ass off to get my grades up) which means I have to take another full semester (And I should've graduated two semesters ago), I also found out that apparently because of my depression and having issues going to school the school is writing a letter to my probation officer and the court (I'm currently on informal probation until June because I had a meltdown in public from getting overwhelmed which is pretty ridiculous...) which means with the letter as well as my failing grades the DA on my case (who hates me personally because he for some reasons thinks I was rude to him when I had issues giving him eye contact and short answers when he was questioning me) will make sure I get put on formal probation which will last until I'm 21 and it also means they do room checks which sucks because I was planning on moving in with my fiancée when I turned 18 at her parents house which won't happen now because her dad and brother both smoke a lot of pot. And so with that gone, and the issue of taking another semester of school I also have the issue of my emotionally abusive parents who always have to tell me I am worthless and will amount to nothing and stuff... They honestly hate me and are disgusted with me and are also aarogant as f**k and think they are perfect and are great parents who do nothing wrong. I mean all I have in life is my fiancee and if I didn't have her I'd have nothing... I love her so much but I feel all this emotional stuff I'm dealing with may push her away, even though she tells me it isn't and she just wants to help me through it. I also have very servere paranoia as well as bipolar which makes matters even worse...

Just felt like ranting...

My next court date is also on Thursday which is really hard for me as I always get overwhelmed when things are coming up I have no control over... And I'm currently on no medications despite the fact that I need to be because my mother is refusing to pay for them because she thinks I don't need them (she is a psychotic b***h)

Careful man, watch your language.

The best I can tell you to do is go to your local child services agency because your parents not providing you with your perscribed medication probaly counts as neglect. You may have to take some extra time studying in school. I would say to get a mental health professional to talk to the people handling your case. Also while I will not ask for the details of your case, a meltdown in public should not cause you to be put on probation unless you actually commited a crime, ask an attorney, the whole thing sounds hinky to me. The best way to calm down is to take a very, very long walk (4-5 miles each way), it always works for me. Don't do anything drastic dude.

wait, you got arrested for having a meltdown in public?

A cop had been called for some reason during the meltdown and I have an intense fear of cops and it just made it worse so I freaked out and got charged with assisting arrest as well as the whole disturbing the public stuff.

can you please elaborate