Need advice from any older people...

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I could go on one of those long walls of text you see but I'll try and keep this short.

Tomorrow is my birthday but...I feel horrible about it. I dread it because every birthday I'm reminded of how bad I am socially. Every holiday it's the same thing, stay in, study, video games or mope about doing nothing. No contact with anyone at all. If I ever do get invited to anything social, I can never think of anything to say. I dunno, I feel so dim for just sitting there with nothing to say while everyone else is chatting away.

Anyway here's the question: Does it get better as you get older? I mean, everyone says these years are supposed to be the best times of my life, and I'm carried forward by the thought: "A few more years and I'll be happy." Do you suddenly start making friends or going out and stuff?

And do employers prefer social people? If so...well I may as well just give up now.

For me it got better as I got older.

In school I had friends and I was very sociable, but my social skills were very poor so although I was around others I was often stuck not knowing what to do or say. When I started working everything changed, you grow up a hell of a lot, and work-wise for me it threw me into a position where I HAD to be social and as such I gained a lot more confidence both in general and socially - my second job also did a lot to help because I met so many wonderful people I got along well with and it was a great environment to work in, I was lucky.

I think younger people do tend to lack self-confidence and are still maturing as people, not to mention other young people tend to be very dismissive of those who are 'different' so it makes being sociable with others difficult - once you get out into the world there is the potential for things to get better. Obviously if you reach adulthood and don't get a job or go out then there is a chance you'll regress or get worse; I've been unemployed for three years, without the constant social interaction within work I find my 'symptoms' of asperger's gets worse so in turn my social skills get worse and I'm right back to square one all over again.

So on the one hand you are likely to gain confidence socially...on the other hand though even if you work making friends can be tougher as an adult than what it is when you're a child, teen or young adult.

Do employers prefer social people?
Not always, there will be some jobs where team work is important or that are very customer-focused so being social is important, but then there are other jobs where not spending your time chatting with co-workers or the ability to focus on things and work on your own is a plus - it's hard to say, different employers want different things, and where as an interviewer for a high-level job may see your benefits an interviewer for a low-level job may rely on whether-or-not you're chatty and social with them rather than your ability to do the job.

Ah I see.

Well that clears things up a little.
See, I'm planning to join the army as an officer. In working environments, where everyone has that same "Get the job done." attitude, I can kind of see myself clicking into gear. Just better hope that I can do it in the same way as a leader at the end of the 44 week training.

That'll be two years from now though. I can sort of feel everything improving but...Christ It's slow. I guess I actively chit-chat with friends at school now as opposed to sitting in the special needs department at school on my own about a year ago. But still, I don't know if I'll get good enough to lead a squad of soldiers by then.

Guess I'll just have to keep going. Thanks I guess.

You are aware of yourself, and have a desire to develop and grow as a person. Don't underestimate this, it's a very important attribute to have.

Age sixteen was a very difficult one for me too, right-hand-child. I was anorexic, depressed, and very discouraged. I even dropped out of high school. But I went on to basic training in the army at age nineteen, and was briefly put in charge of an entire barracks. I had an honorable discharge, too. I am a grandmother now, but can still clearly remember my despair when I was your age.

Don't give up. You are still very young, and things can look bleak when you are on the brink of adulthood and yet not too far from childhood. I have had shocked reactions from people when they find that I was in basic training, because of my current noise sensitivity. But if I can do it, so can you!

edited for spelling