Too many people don't reply to my emails

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Or they show minimal enthusiasm, or they dodge my questions (or give white lies if ask the question again), and I'm always the one with the last reply.

It's immensely frustrating and it makes me intensely misanthropic.

Can anyone please comment? Any experiences? Thanks.

Last edited by simfish on 29 May 2010, 4:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You can't change other people's behaviour, you can only change only your own behaviour.

When people show minimal enthusiasm then they are not interested in the topic, writing emails or both. If you are going to insist on answers, frankly you deserve what you get. No one likes to be bullied or goaded into answering anyone and such answers to bullies are always suspect. When you are the one with the last reply it is because they are finished being bullied and bored.

You can't change other people, you can only change yourself. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is what is frustrating you, simfish. Demanding that other people conform to your formula when they are trying to be polite and then get away from your bullying would make anyone misanthropic.

But you can't change other peoples behavior, only your own behavior. Good luck, simfish.

I know what you mean. Sometimes, I'll post a comment on some topic here before I leave for work, then come home eager to see how the thread progressed, given my insightful reply. All too often, the reaction is a resounding "hmmph" or a threadkill or, most annoying, the thread continues as though I never said anything at all, the way adults ignore children's comments while talking to each other.

You didn't specify who these people you're writing to are, though. If they're friends and family, then avoiding questions is a lousy thing to do. Then again, it could be you're asking too personal or inappropriate things to them, and they're not sure how to tell you that. Since I can't tell who's right from here, all I can say is if someone doesn't want to talk about something, demanding answers will get you nowhere. You attract more flies with honey than vinegar.

I'm very very sorry, but what gives you the impression that I bully or goad? I almost always say "sorry" when I strongly desire a reply to a certain prompt. And I actually do everything I can to act courteous in my emails.

==

Look, I'm only misanthropic because people treat me like crap. I'm sick of people treating me like crap. It's killing me beyond belief.

==



Yeah those are good points. Unfortunately, their ignores apply universally to all sorts of my questions (and come from all sorts of people too).

I don't demand answers. I merely repeat questions and politely ask them if they're uncomfortable with answering them

Simfish, in my experience, when people evade answering a question they don't want to answer that question. Perhaps it would be a good idea to not ask again when they've evaded a question.

I know that if I evaded a question, I'd feel that I'd indicated I wasn't comfortable sharing information regarding the question but wanted to stay in communication. If I was asked the question again, I'd probably not answer because the hint wasn't understood (or that the person understood but just didn't care). Perhaps you'd get better results if you asked questions once and if they're evaded to not repeat the question.

When a person feels disrespected, they can feel bullied. If I was asked questions again when I indicated I didn't want to talk about it, I'd feel disrespected/bullied.

Then can I ask if they're uncomfortable asking it? Sometimes they don't notice questions (or forget to answer them) so I ask again and I get a decent reply.

so what is it, do you insist on answers or don't you? I am getting confused

And I didn't realize you are calling your posts on this forum 'emails' I had no idea that is what you meant.

Merle

Can relate exactly. What I find even more annoying is when you talk to someone directly on Facebook chat or something similar and they just don't say a word, or they suddenly become nonresponsive half way through the conversation just when you were getting somewhere.

What's also irritating on Facebook is when no matter what you put as your status not a single one of the 100 friends that will see it bother giving you a reply. Irritating as hell.

The only advice I can give is that the harder you try to talk to someone the less likely they will won't to talk to you. Act like you're not bothered. There’s nothing more off-putting than someone desperate to be talked to.

It's hard to know sometimes. I think it might be an ok question in some situations, it really depends on the person and the reason why you want to know. For example; if you're just curious and it might be a sensitive subject, leaving it alone would be a good idea but if it's a sensitive subject and your reason for asking is concern, asking if they're uncomfortable with you asking it may be ok.

This is a battle between GOOD & EVIL.

Basically what it is is that these people are opportunists, and only reply to people who they think they can get something from. They are also trying to chip away at ur self esteem so that your relationship with them makes them powerful and you weak. They're essentially vampires. They take advantage of your good nature.

The way to beat them is this:

Consciously and consistently monitor how they make you feel and constantly turn the tables on them. Eventually they will be powerless and beg for your company.

I know we good people don't like this stuff but, these people only understand two roles in a "friendship": master and slave.

The future is ours, let us take back everything!!

I am also misanthropic. I haved a similar experience on Facebook... I explain: All time i post a question or a status, zero response. Same when i comment a status:i get ignored or others do not respond to me or avoids my answer. That fustrating i know

I get it all the time, but you just store it so if and when they do reply to you...you can do it back....

It shouldn't get to you although it is annoying and upsetting sometimes.

I've had that experience many times and I used to feel the same way.