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I live with my grandmother, Mimi. She doesn't care that I have Tourette's/Asperger's. Instead, she just tells me I'm crazy. This was a blog entry on my blog, http://6birds.net. I just want to rant and get things out.

Has this happened to anyone else? I really was being calm and quit and not talking a lot, but she was treating me like I was throwing a really big fit. That's always how she acts, though, when she doesn't get what she wants. I really wasn't doing anything, and what I say really did happen. How she took it, I really don't know.

I've been doing her boyfriend's laundry and picking up after him. I've been doing SO much for her by doing HIS stuff. And yet everything is going unnoticed.

:'( I'm SO close to failing my three classes, and spring term is almost over. I just. I don't know WHAT to do anymore...

THE BLOG:


========================================================
When all else fails... II

Mimi has a mammogram today at 3pm. So what does that mean? It means she didn’t go to work. She normally takes the kids to school in the mornings since she works at the secondary school.

Mimi: (knocks on my bedroom door at 7:30) Sarah, are you taking the kids (Mary, Chris and Cody) to school this morning?!

Me: Oh, yeah. I forgot.

Mimi: You need to call her right now!

Me: Okay. (calls my mom) She said they’re in the car with Tony.

Mimi: Okay. Well, you need to start being more responsible and remember.

Me: I forgot, I’m sorry. It was never made official. (goes back to bed)

Five minutes later.

Mimi: Sarah!

Me: Yes?

Mimi: Will you do the dishes for me later today? When you get a dish washing tablet from your mom, I mean.

Me: Yes. (goes back to sleep)

As if that wasn’t bad enough. Though that bit is important to the rest of how my morning has gone, these next few titles are quite the ____.1

8am.

Mimi: (knocks on my door) Sarah! Are you not going to do the dishes?!

Me: I am, but you said I could do them later.

Mimi: Well, are you not going to go get me a tablet so I can do it then?

Me: (opens the door, forgetting I haven’t shorts on) I -

Mimi: Oh, my gosh. This is what I am talking about.

Me: Hold on, I’m going to get dressed. (shuts the door, starting to put on shorts) What do -

Mimi: Please open the door.

Me: I’m getting dressed.

Mimi: I was talking to you.

Me: You can keep talking to me; I’m just putting on some shorts.

Mimi: No, that’s rude. You’re doing this all over again. You’re being rude and acting like this. QUIT!

Me: (opens the door) Acting like what?

Mimi: You’re throwing a fit. You need to not have such a temper!

Me: I don’t have a temper.

Mimi: YES YOU DO! You’re not normal. Can’t you realize that having this kind of temper is not normal?

Me: I don’t have a temper. I’m being calm.

Mimi: Stop being rude, and listen to me.

Me: (takes a deep breath2)

Mimi: You need to change. This isn’t going to work. You don’t do anything around the house. You don’t have any plans, you don’t have a job and you lay in bed all day long.

Me: I’ve been really focused on school and making good marks. Teachers are cramming everything in. I’m also applying and trying to get a job somewhere. It’s not that easy right now. And I do do things. You asked me to keep the kitchen clean and fold clothes. I’ve been doing that!

Mimi: Then why are they still there on the dining room table when I get home? This is not the way you should live, Sarah. You need to have plans. If you don’t change, you’re going to have to go back to live with your dad. Go get the tablet. NOW.

Her phone rang, and the way she answered it made it clear that it was Tommy. “Oh, yes! Sarah is just running all on the walls! She’s going crazy, and I just can’t handle her anymore!”


Long story short, [according to her and Tommy] I haven’t been social. Well, I’ve rarely been at home since Tommy has been there more often! She wants me to spend more time with her and Tommy in the living room, and that’s just … not my place. I could have opened that door, but according to my mom I did the RIGHT thing by slamming it shut, locking it and running as far away as I could3.

Mimi also wants the “plans” to be worked out between her and I. Oh, and Tommy.

To make things worse, whilst I drove over to my mom’s house to get a dish washing tablet, Tommy must have told her that I walked out on him while he was speaking to me once. I’m sorry, I don’t enjoy hearing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. I could be doing other, more productive activities than that.

He walks out on me while I’m speaking, he interrupts me, he ignores me… I don’t want to deal with that.

She cut off the cable because she’s “really low on money”. Because she has so many doctor bills and whatnot. Those doctor bills are all hers.

Ugh.

If I die young, hopefully my family members will finally understand why blogging means so much to me, why my website is my sanctuary and why it keeps me sane.

The house is clean. My room. Is not. I have school crap to do, and my teachers are piling things up on me. I can’t even write anything, anyway. I can’t think of anything to write. Stupid essay. >.>

Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable. Job. Car. Apartment. Internet. Cable.



Things were just fine before Tommy came into the picture. Now he’s in every single one.

P.S. Should I mention she also got onto me for staying up past 7pm?! Oh, yeah. Yep, yep, yep!

1. Fill in the blank. No, really. Read the rest of this entry and fill in the blank! But don’t worry, whatever you put into the blank doesn’t really matter to me. It’s your opinion. Don’t even let me know what it is. ↩
2. A coping technique I have that helps me from getting angry. I didn’t have a temper. I’d just gotten woken up, and I was actually really calm, blank and non-talkative. ↩
3. Not a real door. HA. Did you think it was? Ohhh, I would be dead if it was a real door! ↩

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Can anyone relate? If not, what would you have done if you were me?

P.S. I strongly dislike Tommy. >.<

I cut people out of my life if they act that way. I don't like being pushed around and disrespected. This is an abusive and toxic situation if she's lying about you to other people and pretending you're having reactions that you're not having. I would suspect that she has plans to have you committed into psychiatric care with false claims so she doesn't have to deal with you. If I were in your situation, I would find a way to live elsewhere, especially with people who understood that studying and working come first.

Take care of yourself first. You're still a student? High school? College? How old are you?

Ugh those people are annoying. I am so glad I don't run into many like that nor is my family like that. If anyone is a brick wall, I stop talking to them and that is what she is being.

I didn't think of her putting me into psych care, but now I see that that is possible.

She's always done this to me, though. She calls me crazy when I'm not doing anything to act crazy about.

It's just so horrible, and I don't know what else to do. :/ I don't need to get depressed again, especially with finals arising.

The picture you paint of her is pretty bleak and unfavorable. She sounds pretty dim and "old-fashioned" in a trashy kind of way. Please do take care of yourself and try to last through her nonsense until you can support yourself. It sounds like you probably will do okay on your own given what she already has you doing. Again....how old are you? Asking this because I don't want to come off as sounding like I'm condoning a 15 year old running away and trying to live independently.

If I had a job, I could live on my own. My dad prepared me for that.

But I live in a small city, and Terrell isn't hiring - that I know of.


I'm 20, but I really don't look like it. No matter what I wear, my face and skin always say different.

I know how you feel, or at least I know how your grandmother works. I deal with that crap all the time. I would run away if I knew where I could go. Even then, I'm not accustomed to living on the streets, but it sounds like that's the type of thing you learn real quick. Someone taking me in would be a big risk on their part. Although I'm not much trouble, it's still taking someone in.

And I can't stand it when people yell at me.
And she just ... doesn't care. She loves to yell.

Before Tommy practically moved in, everything was fine.

She LOVES high-class culture. She loves to spend money.

The scariest part? She has the rest of my FAFSA money in HER bank account because she's afraid I'LL spend it all. I don't like spending money - only when it's necessary, and spending for fun is okay sometimes.

I'm really mature for my age, and she treats me like I'm not. I had to grow up quicker, I was abused, I hate parties. I can't be like everyone else because I'm not.

Oh wow....you're in Terrell? I'm sorry. I've driven through there before on my way to Dallas. I bugged my parents about it pronouncing it like Terrell Owens the first time I saw it (which was on my big 14 hour evacuation drive).

It doesn't matter how you look so long as you are actually 20. Rights aren't granted by looks, just age.

I don't want to run away.

She also wants me to talk about my feelings.

Talking about feelings in not something I do. It's just ... It's like eye contact. I can't do it. I hate it because it's awkward, and I get frustrated if I have to.

Eye contact is something I still feel impossibly weird about. I think I'm doing it right but it's just hard to maintain without either a) completely drilling my pupils into their soul or b) having to break away to give myself a break.

I know that. ._.
No, TVCC is in Terrell.
I live in Wills Point.

That's something that's just too weird to me. I can, maybe twice per minute.

You need to demand your FAFSA money. You're a legal adult. Talk to FAFSA to see if they recommend anything. I'm sure they've seen this kind of asshattery before. This may involve speaking with an attorney. Don't be afraid to speak with an attorney... the consultation is free and you're just talking, not committing to doing anything.

I don't care what your face and clothes say; you're a legal adult. You need to act like one and be treated like one.

I would get a job and get out. Consider moving into a women's shelter. You're old enough and there's often programs that will help you find work and a suitable place to live. I bet the social workers would be very happy to have you since there's no jealous ex-husband trying to kill you or any of the other issues that tend to come with women. Plus, there will be counseling. You're coming from a very crazy environment. One of the most sick and perverse things someone can do to an aspie is make them feel like they are crazy or they are perceiving everything wrong. You'd benefit from being able to talk it out and receive proper validation for seeing things the way that they are. You'd be able to study at a library as much as you'd need to get back on track with your classes.

Speak with your teachers. They're human. They might be able to make some temporary accommodation to help you out through this rough time. At the very least, this will give them a chance to be supportive of you.

Never be afraid to ask for help. Most people like being given the opportunity to be decent to others and I get a feeling that you're surrounded by these types of people... they just aren't your grandmother and her boyfriend.