I Hate My Life

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Everyone's always keeping a close watch on me. No one cares about me for who I am. I can't clear my throat, even if it's only every two hours or really soft in sound volume, because my parents don't want to hear it, I can't argue back or raise my tone of voice but my sister can because I have Asperger's and she doesn't. Years ago, when my family and I were about to go to a beach, I had an argument with my parents in the kitchen, and my mom was like, "Matthew, do you want to go to the mental hospital?" But when my sister throws a fit when something doesn't go her way, all she gets is a scolding, but no one ever threatens to send her to a mental institution of any sort. The reason for all this? I have Asperger's, and she doesn't. But that's not fair! I want a life! Stop stripping me of my rights!

What started this complaining of mine is that my mom reminded me to watch my throat. I tried to tell her how I felt and all, and in the end, she said, "Fine, ruin your health." HELP!! !! !

What is the issue with clearing your throat? Most people clear their throat sometimes. Do you do it excessively?

Threatening to send you to a mental hospital seems could be designed to frightened you into shutting up, or perhaps it your family is overreacting to the fact that you have AS and worries that you will do something crazy or something. I haven't been formally diagnosed with AS yet, but every since I have been trying to get my family to take notice of it my father and step-mom have been treating me with alot more suspicion (wondering whether I am lying to them about things, ect...). People react in unhelpful ways sometimes.

Sorry this doesn't help much.

I am sorry your family is being so "normal"....No parent should threaten their kid with the psyc ward...you are justified in your anger and frustration(for all the good that does)I wish I could make them stop useing your "difference" as an excuse for their paranoia and rudeness but thats just the way alot of parents act...sometimes that can be a problem with having a "label"....it is supposed to make people more "empathetic" to "your reality" but they can end up seeing everything through the lense of that label....."Oh,no Johnny is blinking again,must be aspergers....argggghhhh"have they ever visited wrong planetor do you prefer to have this place private?(if so,I can understand why)but it might give them some insights into others who have AS from "their" perspective,rather then the Professionals or the "curebies" perspective....maybe you could find them a similiar but different site of aspies to read about, to understand that we are not a bunch of psychos who deserve the Psyc ward for clearing the flim from their throats....end rant....

Parents shouldn't use the Psych Ward as a threat. If my parents ever did that to me, I'd walk out the Front Door, and I'd be living in the Street. That was very 19th Century of your mother to do that. I feel for you.

Alot of times, NT parents with Aspie kids are just as racist against aspies as much of the rest of NT society, they just try to pass it off as pity concern.... Honestly, sometimes i wanna disown my family and adopt an all aspie family, or atleast an all pro-cure family who understands me. Arrogance, selfishness, and bigotry are bred into the average NT because of evolutionary psychology.... I swear part of me hates NTs, I just hafta remember there are a few good ones out there, literally like 1 in 10,000,000,000. Of coarse there are also alot of fake aspies on here, but I'm not gonna name any names because I'm not trying to get stuff started up.

I will say my quest for knowledge has equally desensitized me to the world around me and made me even further alienated.... Because i'm a REAL free thinker, I don't follow any labels. I look for the unbiased truth, be it good, bad, or indifferent. I think part of what fueled me for this was seeing how programed this world was from an early age, and also part because of anger at the NT world I live in (though at the time my quest for knowledge began I wasn't diagnosed).
Also.... Nobody has any right to force or pressure someone to live a life of agonizing pain, this is sickeningly selfish. It is better not to live than to have lived in constant pain and torture. And no, learning to be happy going through my life with my pecker in my hand isn't an option because it's not possible, and I won't settle for it.

You wanna know the truth, the truth is something most people cannot handle. The truth is we were put here by an extra-terrestrial intelligence, this explain all the world religions. All the "miracles" are advanced technology. Ancient secret societies have long known this and taught man to worship them. Truth is, this extra-terrestrial intelligence is very socialist, and are leading humanity into a trap. The Vatican church and the Illuminati are their chosen rulers, the step between the masses and the extra-terrestrial intelligence, the elohim. Evolution is also true, they began with more primitive models, but the seed was developed to evolve on it's own. We aspies are the evolution of our species, being held down because 1. Our existance as such would proove the bible wrong, and 2. We'd more likely be smart enough to call them on their conspiracy and challenge them in larger numbers, possibly bringing them down, had they not held us down.
The NT mindset, on average, is exactly what the elohim wanted to breed all along, mindless soldiers and slaves... And, they are slaves to their animal instincts and their biases, enslaved by primitive sociological tribal code. This world is primitive.
However, the total atheist is equally as lost as the religious person of any faith. Theyr minds are preset to "real" being anything ***currently and officially founded*** science can verify. Back in the colonial days, people would have said it would take "voodoo" to fly. A few centuries later, the Wright Brothers flew the 1st airplane at KittyHawk. Black magick and spirituality aren't as "supernatural" as people seem to think. Aliester Crowley wrote a book called Magickal Theory in Practice, which scientifically explained how magick and spirituality, as well as reincarnation worked. For another good refference on reincarnation you can read Jammie L. Sherman's "Principals of Immortality", which explains reincarnation scientifically. Black magick is nothing like Hollywood makes you believe it is, you can't just mutter some off-the-wall toungues and expect it to rain blood from the skies. However, such things as a god cannot logickally or scientifically be explained, atleast not in the since of a conscious being. It's more likely an energy force without a collective conscience, that acts like a supercomputer and runs the universe mathematically.

There is a positive. The ability to become, in one's own rights, a god, is possible... No, you'll never control the universe, but you can become all powerful unto yourself and your surroundings, and become all knowledgeable, through the quest fot knowledge and breaking a tyrannical chain of reincarnation. One must free their mind, stand tall in integrity (something this world seriously lacks) and then after their life here on earth is up the individual can shed their body, but chances are they'll be put back in a different body in a different life. The reason for this is because one's soul, so to speak, is made up of pure conscious energy that has the individual's identity all over it, it's like spiritual DNA, this energy is made up of the person's thoughts, feelings, emotions, experiences, etc.As your going through the thoughts, feelings, emtions, etc, they are working in developing your next life. Will you be a cock roach or will you be an emperor?
But through the quest for knowledge one can become powerful enough to break this cycle, however, time is running out because we're within atleast the same century of thought police. Right now the illuminati is digging it's claws in, ready to rule the world through fear and an iron fist, and earth will encounter a neo-fuedalist age of tyranny... The people will loose all rights, all freedoms, they'll be lied to constantly and be forced to believe in the lies, and will become technologically and militarily enslaved, by the very ones who are selling us out to an advanced race of outsiders.

oh yeah, finnishing explaining reincarnation lol, ok, so I explained your soul, well it's as simple as this. Your soul is made up of energy, energy cannot die, so energy recycles itself.

I'm not saying every parent is like that, just the usual curebies. Aspies don't wanna be cured and don't wanna be treated like we're "disabled" or like we're perpetually 5 yrs old, I am 27 and my counselors, everyone has treated me as if I were a child, the "advocacy services" are an insult to my intelligence. Now I'm certain there are good NT parents of aspie children, I do not know you well enough, or your kid well enough, to make that judgement. But I do know a lady who is NT and has an aspie kid plus a very intellectually gifted NT kid, and she's a great mother.
As for my resources for information, I'll have to get back to you on that later because it's alot of different resources. Know that this is over 12 yrs of research. But if you'd like a few resources you can check out, look at the following publications:

America In Peril- A Call To Arms by Robert W. Pelton (When I initially read this it was contraband literature, from a lady who worked in FEMA undercover for a citizen activist group)
Magickal Theory In Practice by Aliester Crowley
Principals of Immortality by Jammie L. Sherman
also research the alien astronaut theory, I can't really proove this one but if falls so perfectly into place I seriously doubt it's a coincidence. It explains all the religions perfectly, in a rational, scientifically-feesible way. Er actually I do have a pic that prooves there was a link between the Vaticans and the greys. They found the skull of a grey when they had dug out a vault that had been shut down for centuries, there is a pic, and the Vatican tried to explain it away as the "effects of swamp gas". But one look at it tells you the skull is too perfect to be a manifestation of swamp gas. Here is the link,
http://www.rense.com/general12/skull.htm
I'm usually very skeptical about anything I find online, I don't usually trust the internet for information, but this I found interesting and I felt it was ginuine.

Look, I retract some of the things I said about my family, just they never get me and I feel like I'm.... I have issues. My family are all very important to me.