i think the culture of the place that i live makes me mad.

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i live in washington dc. it really sucks because all the people here are aholes. the government is full of pushy, rich, unrealistic people who play to win and can never have it any other way. i feel that being brought up in this culture has made me more violent and mean. whenever i go anywhere else in america i actually notice people who are being dbags, it surprises me when i see this because i always thought that one had to be a dbag to survive. i do not know anything about being nice. it always seems to me that the only way forward that i can see is power struggles. however i know that because i have autism and i am unpopular i will likely lose any power struggle i decide to engage in. i am afraid of my own way of thinking and philosophy i know that i put it together to cope with a bad situation and get stupid people out of my life. i am worried that while my thinking will deal with my situation well i will soon start to burn out. i know that i can't live my life this quickly and i know that i can not live well in a continual cycle of being abused, seeking revenge, going through denial, and hurting myself.

You should probably take some time to think about whether or not you want to resort to the level of the world around you. Revenge can be sweet an all but it doesn't really heal any wounds. People can be dbags, you don't have to be one just because everyone is. People who hurt others will NEVER learn a thing from it. That does not have to be your fate.

It not everywhere that one needs to be a dbag in order to survive. Plan your escape, start with seeking out better places, research holy places, and age groups etc.

Honestly, you are living in the worst place on earth for dbag = survival! Almost anywhere is kinder than Washington DC.

Competition isn't the only lifeway available to humans--there is also cooperation. There are other, more laid-back places to live, like the Portland or Seattle or Austin or the Bay Area or pretty much any college town.

I was made to feel like my personal temperament and political beliefs were bad and wrong growing up in a rural area in a Red State, but fit in so much better since I moved to the urban Midwest.