Not Good Enough

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I write this and my brother doesn't know. I write. So he didn't have time to fix it. Fix it. But I don't think I'm good enough. My brothers are both really good. Really good. They can talk to a lot of people. Lots of people. They are good at controlling what they fel. But I can't. Loud noises make my head ring. I get so dizzy I get a headache and I want it to die. When people talk to me. The world gets so dizzy. I want to make the world stop sometime. I stare at the wall, cause it has so many interesting patterns. But no one else can see them. I not very good at speaking. My speech stammers, pauses, and stutters. Stammers. I not good like them. I dumb. Dumb and slow. And what I do isn't good enough. I am not great. Sometimes I hate myself. Hate. But I know my brothers don't like me sad. So I smile.

-Jamie

Everybody's different and that's okay. I bet you can do things your brothers can't do. Like seeing patterns.

It sounds like you try very hard to be good at things. I think trying hard makes you good enough.

Sounds intense, man.

Your writing style reminds me of a poet, unique and with a great rhythm. Maybe this is why patterns interest you.
Don't let your brother fix it anymore. You may find a great poet inside you if you look.
Did you ever read or try to write poems? I think you would be good at it.

They don't like my writing. School don't like me to write. They don't like how I repeat things. In my writing I repeat things. And school says repeating is bad. In this world we're created, to type fast, and talk fast. Not to think slow and pause. Or repeat. My brother encourages me to write more. Encourages me to write. He says I am brilliant. But I think he's lying or trying to make me feel better.

I applaud u for trying and think u should write more.

I used to smile all the time, because people didn't want to see me miserable. I also think that it's great that you took the time to come to The Haven and tell us how you feel.