Whoa. I'm even more conflict-averse than I thought

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I just had a sort of...conversation with someone on YouTube. I disagreed with someone's opinions, didn't quite understand what they meant, and went off and commented on the things she had said, first exclaiming my confusion over how she seemed to hate this vocalist big time.
Well; I'll show the "conversation" and you can see my problem.
Sorry, the conversation's topic is ridiculous. I do listen to a lot of bad music. I hope you can see past that.

The person:
"she sounds HORRIBLE
she cant keep the timing
she keeps gasping for air.....-.- HATE THIS "
"People like her should NOT sing live.....ESPECIALLY songs not written for them and most DEFINITELY not in her vocal range....."

Me:
"Are you serious? Have you seen Amy Lee's live performances of Going Under? She often does worse than this. I'm not saying she's a bad singer, I do prefer her vocals to Carly's, but Carly is no worse than Amy vocally. "

The person:
"u have got to be kidding me, there is difference in the vocals (notice her intro is similar to how Amy would sound but her voice is more rustic)
keep in mind the song was NOT written for her vocal range+ her voice
listen & compare again
not really much a comparison seeing Amy's voice is melodious and angelic
Personally im not saying she cant sing (totally) im saying she should stick to the crap she writes
P.S. Amy has never sounded horrible (unless she havin fun with it)" (Now I realize that (s)he probably got the "horrible" part from how (s)he had said earlier that Carly sounds HORRIBLE and I expressed my opinion that Carly is no worse than Amy vocally - meaning then that they are both horrible)

I see his/her comment. I start to feel really anxious and instead of explaining what my problem with his/her statements was, back down start rapidly typing what is basically just me going SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY I suck:

Me:
"Hmm. I'm not quite sure what to answer. I think probably neither of us are really objective. I didn't say that Amy sounds horrible, really. I really, really enjoy her vocals a lot, even when she screws up. I know Evanescence songs can be exhausting, especially with all the running around she does on stage and with how little time there is to breathe when singing them. It makes sense to me that she doesn't sound perfect and I love her voice even when she might not sound good to others.
But, I keep saying that might not be a good singer, how would I know? Because people are constantly saying that she can't sing for s**t in nearly every Evanescence video - and that live she's a "huge disappointment" from those who supposedly enjoyed the music. I am afraid that people will come after me saying HOW CAN YOU LIKE THIS s**t YOU MUST BE DEAF SHE SOUNDS LIKE A DYING HORSE?!? even though that's never happened to me, I've seen it happen to so many others.
And on Carly's vocals I admit I'm not qualified to truly judge the quality of her vocals. People pay attention to so many different things when listening to the vocals, not to mention the preferences everyone has for what sounds good and what does not. Sorry, I shouldn't have gone "Are you serious?" The exclamation was out of confusion, not disdain. I often do stupid things without thinking + often am confused at the contrast between how I perceive the world and how others do, sorry."

That's it.

I'm really afraid of this person, what the hell was I thinking posting that comment

I know the feeling.

I frequently get very stressed out and anxious over any kind of conflict that arises from what I post on the internet. It's even worse if I say something that is taken wrong in real life.

I don't like being in conflict with people, but I also have some pretty strong opinions. I still go on tirades every now and then which I know are going to upset some people. When people take what I write badly, I have to scramble to make amends and often "take back" stuff I've written despite the fact that I still think it is valid. I end up feeling like someone else has forced me to renounce what I believe to be the truth. This makes me angry and I tend to stew over it for far longer than it is worth.

I often feel like everybody is angry at me for being a stupid, intolerant jerk even when I examine their points of view and conclude that I am in the right. It doesn't matter. I always end up feeling like the guy everyone is angry with.

A few things I have learned to do which kind of reduces the problem:

1. I tend to be fairly polite and often avoid saying things I know will annoy others, sometimes to the point of not really staying truthfully what I think.
2. I use sarcasm and absurd humor to make points in a way that is harder for others to attack.
3. I obsessively re-read my posts and e-mails before submitting them.
4. I have to remind myself that I am sometimes entitled to my own opinion and that sometimes I am even right despite what others think.
5. I TRY to stay away from the politics, religion and philosophy forums.
6. I drink a lot.

Thank you for your post, I really appreciate it. It is rare that I would get to actually relate to someone that much. People don't really talk about things like these, at least not in my life. When I've tried explaining things like this people have just ended up confused.

Thank you

I'm sort of like that too. I was a moderator on another site, so I'd always end up in the middle of 2 people arguing and have to do something to sort it out. And no matter what I did, someone hated me. I couldn't take it.

I am very conflict-averse too.

For me it also probably comes from growing up in a household with two parents who always argued with each other. Whenever they would argue, I would absorb all of those negative emotions. So even if the argument didn't involve me directly, I'd feel as if I were the one who had been yelled at. It was awful.

I am even conflict-averse when I watch movies... for some reason, I hate that moment when you know that something bad is going to happen. Little Timmy forgot his wallet at home, Sally is gonna get caught cheating on her exam, etc... Logically, I know conflict is necessary for good writing (and it's what makes a good movie good), but it really bothers me at times, to the point where I will get anxious and leave the room (or pause the movie for a bit!) until I calm down.

Some days I wish that everyone could just be at peace!

Yeah, I'm conflict-adverse too, so I can see where you guys are coming from. I've been made fun of by family who knows how many times since I become very nervous and shaky when they have conflict, and when it occurs in movies. Add to that a natural inability to see the degrees of conflict when it occurs(besides really obvious teasing and throwing-stuff rage), and yeah- utter hell sometimes.

I kind of blame it on my being the highly sensitive, non-aggressive alien in a family of hotheads.