feeling bad :*(

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I feel so bad, Im no good at life.

I ve not ever worked and Ive no idea what kind of job I could tolerate, I did a YTS training job 15 years ago but only did 10 days and ended up in a mental hospital with a breakdown. Im worried any work I do will end the same. I dont cope well, I have lots of anxiety and nightmares Im very social phobic and find people so difficult. I dont know how I can do a job.

I hate that I fail at all areas of my life, I have poor relationships with my family and no friends, but it makes me too stressed when I try and make friends, I have not got the emotional resourses to cope. I dont seem to have enough friendliness to keep people happy, I make them cross and I be too unfriendly, I can be friendly for a short while but I cant keep it up and people get cross/dissapointed.

I feel overwhelmed by everything, I cant get enjoyment from life I just feel it is not for me, I was made to wrong for this world, I was a mistake and shouldnt have ever been born.

you should take the plunge again, it might be alright second time round

I'm sorry that you feel this way right mow. If you keep testing your limit to what things you can do, you could get very far, and you might surprise yourself. I hope that you start to feel better, soon.

I'm really sorry you feel so bad, The_Raven. I completely understand about jobs and such being too stressful. I can't hold a job either.

So I'm trying to write fiction from home. That is not too stressful for me and it's always been my favorite thing to do.

Do you have any favorite interests that you spend a lot of time on or want to pursue? There might be a non-stressful career in one or more of them.

Anyway, yes, you definitely should have been born. On a philosophical level, ----> [this part may not make any sense so just ignore it if not] what else would I be doing now but reading what you wrote and talking to you? If you didn't exist, I wouldn't exist. There's nothing to say that I would be doing "something else" if I weren't talking to you. For all I know this is all there is. You create me and I create you and we all create each other.

Anyway, I really hope you feel better soon. Don't feel bad about not being able to tolerate stressful work. Neither can I. It doesn't mean you're a failure in any way. It means you're sensitive to life.

get a job in your special interest. and go in with determination and confidence if you can.

You're not lazy or unresilient. Well if you are, I am. But I don't think those are fair characterizations. We are more sensitive, less able to filter out unpleasantness.

I'm sorry you were put off exercise by that job episode. Painting you could try to do. That sounds like a lovely thing to work on. Lots of restaurants and cafes look for artists to hang their work n their store for their customers to buy.

What your really need is a sense of purpose, ime thats essential for psychological survival through long periods of not working. That might come from vountary work, little things you do day to day even. Even just posting on threads like this counts (or so i tell myself) A job is something to aspire too, but for now just do what you can, build your life up slowly, work out what levels and frequencies of socialization, pressure etc you can manage, dont feel bad about them and dont compare yourself to other people.

Capitalism actually requires unemployment anyway; if we had jobs someone else would have to be unemployed, so really its like a noble sacrifice. It can also regularly entails propaganda in the media, seeping through society. picking on the latest minority group (refugees,unemployed,single mothers.. even the disabled) to give the workers a scapegoat to blame for their own toil, letting the rich elite off the hook. Dont let it get to you.