feeling bad :*(
I feel so bad, Im no good at life.
I ve not ever worked and Ive no idea what kind of job I could tolerate, I did a YTS training job 15 years ago but only did 10 days and ended up in a mental hospital with a breakdown. Im worried any work I do will end the same. I dont cope well, I have lots of anxiety and nightmares Im very social phobic and find people so difficult. I dont know how I can do a job.
I hate that I fail at all areas of my life, I have poor relationships with my family and no friends, but it makes me too stressed when I try and make friends, I have not got the emotional resourses to cope. I dont seem to have enough friendliness to keep people happy, I make them cross and I be too unfriendly, I can be friendly for a short while but I cant keep it up and people get cross/dissapointed.
I feel overwhelmed by everything, I cant get enjoyment from life I just feel it is not for me, I was made to wrong for this world, I was a mistake and shouldnt have ever been born.
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,079
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
I'm really sorry you feel so bad, The_Raven. I completely understand about jobs and such being too stressful. I can't hold a job either.
So I'm trying to write fiction from home. That is not too stressful for me and it's always been my favorite thing to do.
Do you have any favorite interests that you spend a lot of time on or want to pursue? There might be a non-stressful career in one or more of them.
Anyway, yes, you definitely should have been born. On a philosophical level, ----> [this part may not make any sense so just ignore it if not] what else would I be doing now but reading what you wrote and talking to you? If you didn't exist, I wouldn't exist. There's nothing to say that I would be doing "something else" if I weren't talking to you. For all I know this is all there is. You create me and I create you and we all create each other.
Anyway, I really hope you feel better soon. Don't feel bad about not being able to tolerate stressful work. Neither can I. It doesn't mean you're a failure in any way. It means you're sensitive to life.
So I'm trying to write fiction from home. That is not too stressful for me and it's always been my favorite thing to do.
Do you have any favorite interests that you spend a lot of time on or want to pursue? There might be a non-stressful career in one or more of them.
Anyway, yes, you definitely should have been born. On a philosophical level, ----> [this part may not make any sense so just ignore it if not] what else would I be doing now but reading what you wrote and talking to you? If you didn't exist, I wouldn't exist. There's nothing to say that I would be doing "something else" if I weren't talking to you. For all I know this is all there is. You create me and I create you and we all create each other.
Anyway, I really hope you feel better soon. Don't feel bad about not being able to tolerate stressful work. Neither can I. It doesn't mean you're a failure in any way. It means you're sensitive to life.
I tried to get a job with my special interest in the past, at the time I was mad on exercise and did a fitness instructor course but they failed me as they said I did not have good enough social skills for it and that made me feel bad and put me off exercise for a long time. I did not know I had aspergers then though, but Im worried that if I get bad feedback in my other interests that I will get put off them too. I shall think about it, I do paintings but i dont think anyone would buy them and I dont think its the sort of thing people can make a living from.
I feel like Im so lazy and selfish as other people work even though they hate their job, I should be more resilient.
aspie48
Veteran
Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,291
Location: up s**t creek with a fan as a paddle
You're not lazy or unresilient. Well if you are, I am. But I don't think those are fair characterizations. We are more sensitive, less able to filter out unpleasantness.
I'm sorry you were put off exercise by that job episode. Painting you could try to do. That sounds like a lovely thing to work on. Lots of restaurants and cafes look for artists to hang their work n their store for their customers to buy.
What your really need is a sense of purpose, ime thats essential for psychological survival through long periods of not working. That might come from vountary work, little things you do day to day even. Even just posting on threads like this counts (or so i tell myself) A job is something to aspire too, but for now just do what you can, build your life up slowly, work out what levels and frequencies of socialization, pressure etc you can manage, dont feel bad about them and dont compare yourself to other people.
Capitalism actually requires unemployment anyway; if we had jobs someone else would have to be unemployed, so really its like a noble sacrifice. It can also regularly entails propaganda in the media, seeping through society. picking on the latest minority group (refugees,unemployed,single mothers.. even the disabled) to give the workers a scapegoat to blame for their own toil, letting the rich elite off the hook. Dont let it get to you.
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