I've been slandered.

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Shayna, the girl I blew it with a little over a week ago, is now playing the victim card and falsely accusing me of groping her butt during work. My boss didn't believe her and is planning to talk to her next time she works to see if he can find holes in her story. If I don't get fired, Shayna's family will probably try to press charges against me for sexual assault. I messaged Shayna on Facebook telling her that she has committed slander and I have legal grounds to sue her ass into oblivion, at which point she blocked me. Yeah, she kept talking to me after the chat, never blocking me or reporting me, never telling me to go away, but when I brought up actually forcing her to prove her case in a court of law, she thought "Oh, $hit! This guy can really do a number on me!" Real smooth.

My opinion of Shayna has completely changed. I feel nothing for her now but passionate, seething hatred. So here is my final script for her:

LotM:
Hey, Shayna, can I talk to you?

Shayna:
Okay.

LotM:
Have you ever read the book To Kill a Mockingbird?

Shayna:
Yes or no

LotM:
Well, that's kind of what this is.
Lying about someone to get them in trouble? Why would you do that?

Shayna:
No idea how she'll explain this

LotM:
You know, that's called slander, and it's illegal. I can sue you. I can't sue you personally because you're a minor, but I can sue your parents. I can sue them for every penny they have. I can take away your home, your car, your computer, everything. I'm dead serious. You do not want to fu¢k with me. You are in DEEP $HIT.

Shayna:
I don't know what you're talking about.

LotM:
I already have grounds to sue you. I could sue you right now and I would probably win. But I know you're just a dumb kid and probably didn't understand that what you were doing was illegal. That's why I'm giving you a second chance.

Shayna:
Um, okay.

LotM:
Listen, I have been bullied, exploited, slandered, harassed, and persecuted all my life. I have A LOT of experience dealing with people like you. I know how to defend myself. Trust me. You DO NOT want me as an enemy.

LotM:
Shayna, I like you as a person <!-- white lie -->. I think you're a nice girl, who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time <!-- The part before the comma was a lie. --> I don't want to cause you any trouble. But you have committed an act of war against me, and I will use ANY LEGAL MEANS NECESSARY to protect myself from you.

Shayna:
Go away.

LotM:
Very bad move on your part. You have no case. I have witnesses. I have our entire correspondence, which clearly shows that I had no motive to touch you but you had a motive to lie about me. I have access to statistical evidence from hundreds of case studies conducted over the years, which have proven that most sexual assault accusations by women against men are false. You chose the wrong guy to fu¢k with.


I have devoted the time before my final (non-court case) confrontation with Shayna to an extensive smear campaign against her. I've been telling all of my friends at work (I have quite a few of them) that she is slandering me. I am rallying an army of friends to back me, and making everyone hate her. My intention is to make her suffer as much as possible, to overwhelm her with feelings of fear and guilt and alienation. It's the only way to get her to back down. You can not reason with evil.

accidental post

Bravo. I am just hoping that it didn't come off as too threatening...don't want to give anything that can be used against you.

I support what you are doing. People who do that, to accuse you of such a thing and tell other people that lie deserve to be locked up for a long time to learn their lesson. I wish you well if you do get involved in a court case.

She accused you of something, so what benefit can come from having any further contact with her? Winning a petty argument for your own ego should not be the object here, but staying out of trouble and keeping your job should be. What could you possibly say to her that will serve you toward this end? In retrospect, it seems the smartest thing of all that you could have done, is not say anything to her at all or have any further contact with her. The budding relationship is destroyed, and nothing good can come of any further transactions for either of you. Anything you say to her from now on will, at best, be of no consequence, but could be used against you. Don't say anything more, not even if she goads you.

I am about to give you some advice and I suggest you highly consider taking it.

Stop it.

Stop communicating with her. Stop with your smear campaign. Stop devoting so much energy to her one way or another because you are just going to make things worse for yourself, and prevent this thing from blowing over on it's own.

As for her accusations, let your boss look into it. Are there security cameras that can prove your innocents? If so, get the footage from them. If they do fire you, you can get a lawyer and proceed with your defense but let the lawyer handle everything. Don't involve yourself directly with it.

You're not ever going to make any kind of relationship work with her. Even if she appears friendly, you can't trust her and she won't trust you now that she has made an accusation against you, even if you didn't really do anything wrong. (Think about why that is)

Any further information you give her will only make it more likely she will succeed at doing something unfavorable to you. Why would her family's actions depend on whether you get fired or not? Is there some way you can be transferred to a different location or different part of the schedule, so you won't need to see her ever again? Nobody needs to tell her that you didn't get fired.

I don't think you should be so threatening in your script, but you shouldn't let her get away with it.

As sgrannel said, stop talking to her and stop talking about her.

Lying in this manner is really bad of her (not just of her personally but for people who have been genuinely sexually harrassed who will be doubted because of her) but acting in the manner you plan to will be bad for you because despite your doing this in response to her slander, she could use this in her defence (adding slander to what she has already accused you of).

I would highly suggest avoiding any contact with her if possible. There is a very real danger that you could appear (to others) as obsessing over her. In court, skilled lawyers CAN AND WILL use that to make it appear that her accusations have merit. Keep in mind that a court case might well be decided by people that do not know ANYTHING about Asperger syndrome. Her lawyer will tell a story of the odd, anxious man that obsessed over her and ignorant judges/jury may well believe that story.

In court, the truth doesn't always win. Her lawyer will say "Isn't it strange that this man continued to try to have contact with her even after she started making accusations against him? Doesn't that mean that he has an uncontrollable obsession with her and doesn't that support her accusations?" However fictional that story may be, it will make sense to many people on a jury (or a judge, if there is no jury).

There is also a great danger that you could accidently say something that could be taken out of context and used by her to make it sound like her accusations have merit. (This is why lawyers routinely tell their clients not to say ANYTHING about the case without discussing it with their lawyer first.)

Gather any evidence you can to support your innocence but continuing to interact with her will likely do far more harm than good.

Sorry to see that you met one of the many backstabbers in the world. In my world, ass holes win all the time, sadly.

I'd be very catious about starting such a campaign. You might give her reason to sue YOU for slander if you run around claiming that she is a slanderer and it makes her losing her job.

OK...this is a pretty good example of what NOT to do.

Never, ever, EVER threaten someone with a lawsuit. Just don't do it.

Lawsuits are for people who can't settle things amongst themselves. This may be the case with you. Giving you the benefit of the doubt, it sounds to me that this young lady isn't really all that bright. Generally speaking, it's a bad idea to sue a stupid person, the reason being that if someone is stupid, a lawsuit will settle nothing, anyway.

You little script there is extremely harsh. #1 rule is be patient and be gentle. Your job is not to threaten, but to make the unwanted behavior stop. If you're going to warn someone that you may be pushed into filing suit, get your facts straight.

You CANNOT sue anyone "for all they're worth." This simply just does not happen, and that kind of thing is just overdramatized in the media. You do NOT have the right to publicly smear her and turn people against her, because that also is slander and she might have a countersuit against you. The way to deal with a bully (in the legal world) is not to be one yourself. No one wants to award damages to someone with dirty hands.

I see that you are 21 years old, and you mention that you're dealing with a minor. This puts you at a sharp disadvantage because they will more likely be more sympathetic to a minor, especially if that minor is female.

You said "You can not reason with evil." I can understand that, and I quite agree. You CAN, however, avoid evil. Do what you need to do to protect yourself from this little kid. A simple "stop it or I'll sue" is all that is necessary. If you're really going to court, you might want a lawyer. When you go to war with someone in court, you should cease and desist all contact with this person. If they have ANYTHING to say to you, do not give them any kind of answer but rather refer those people to your lawyer.

Incidentally, my wife is a paralegal with ABJA certification in federal bankruptcy. She's handled divorces, Social Security Administration, and a lot of other things, though, and legal procedure is basically consistent everywhere except in Justice Court. Think "Judge Judy." Any time you sue someone or someone sues you, it's a good idea to let the lawyer handle the procedural issues with your case, expensive though they may be. I was a witness to a harassment case once. My friend was being psychologically abused by an ex bf. Recognizing we had the burden of proof, we talked amongst ourselves whether we needed to get a lawyer involved, and we concluded that our case simply just wasn't all that complicated and we wouldn't really need that kind of help in JC. The exbf decided NOT to get a lawyer, and the best he could do was try to prove my friend was nuts. Epic fail. He had some "character witnesses" to back him up, not many of whom really wanted to be there, and he decided not continue the case (which the judge actually suggested) or subpoena witnesses in order to make them stay in court. He probably could have totally creamed us if he'd lawyered up, but instead he incriminated himself when the judge examined him. He got slapped with a misdemeanor fine. The judge told him, "If she's crazy, you need to stay away from her, because THAT'S how people get in trouble!" It was a LONG time before they ever talked to each other again, and even then only once or twice. At this point she won't even go near the same town he lives in.

So...

Do what you think you need to do, but BE CAREFUL!! ! You really don't know if this whole thing can backfire.

Not only are her actions bad for you, bad for her, and bad for people who really are being harassed, they're also bad for people in general who might otherwise be interested in developing relationships with co-workers in good faith. We have to be vigilant, thus we can't just start things with people we see everyday. That's why people want to date others in situations where it's easy to get away, without having to quit one's job or move to another city if things go sour.

You may very well be in a card game of sorts with an opponent who does not play nice. Gather any evidence you can, and remember that talking to her is equivalent to showing your cards. You don't want your opponent to know what your defense strategy will be ahead of time, if it comes to that. Threatening anyone with legal action or otherwise, will also prompt the opponent to make better preparation, and will decrease the likelihood that this thing will simply blow over, which also does not favor you. Again, don't show your cards.

Good for you. Sue her if she doesn't stop. Let your boss handle it first and then sue her if she doesn't stop. But cut contact off with her as others have said so lose the script.