I can't stop fighting.

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Being an aspie... I bottle everything up. I choke on tears all day, I choke on fears all day... I can't stop fighting. Fist fights. When I'm in that mood, theres not stopping me. I don't know to do. My body gets off of the thrill, and when its over there was so much tension that my bones ache and my body burns. Not even from the bruises. But I feel better. I would love crying as an alternative, but no one would f*****g cry with me. It's not that I'm Not too macho or BS like that. I just would feel even more different than usual being the only one in the crowd crying. If I don't get to fight, I cut. If I don't cut I break things. It's how i get my anger out but I just can't f*****g stop and I want to live life but It's choking me to death.

I know what you're going through, the only thing that prevents me from anger explosions is wearing myself out with sports daily and breaking things that aren't important. (It's a lot of fun to break dishes that you buy for 5 cents at the flea market, for example). I think it's healthy to let anger out, just not when it's hurting yourself or others.

Two suggestions: Get into some martial arts, solo instruction then practice on a dummy/punching bag until you're too exhausted to continue. Second, buy some junk at a flea market, go to an empty parking lot or building lot or whatever something secluded and break it all until you're better.

Also, welcome to Wrong Planet.

the poster above has some good suggestions. if you keep getting into fist fights, you or someone else may be badly hurt. you don't want to have to live with that. plus you'll probably end up in jail. physical fighting is illegal.

Both of you are right. But would that really make life simpler? Just deferring the anger constantly? I wanna have a live and eventually a family. And thanks for the welcome, It's nice to talk to people who understand.
It's making it so I can't pursue a relationship. My social skill aren't even too bad, if you compare it to this. That part makes it hard as hell.

Let me rephrase that. "That part makes Life<< hard as hell." I didn't mean for that innuendo to seep through.

Martial arts, boxing, running?

I fight too, and I'm a girl. Go to a boxing gym. Train. Eye of the tiger.

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